What a Girl Wants

An exasperated (that was totally a $0.50 word-I know it cuz I spelled it wrong the first time) oops okay take two! An exasperated man confronted me tonight with the question, “What is it you want in a man Sara?”  Well this got me thinking about what I really do want.

The first thing I wanted to do was bust out in song and dance from the Grease 2 movie, “If you really want to know, what I want in a guy, well I’m looking for a dream on a mean machine……” (Some of you can pretend you didn’t see that movie…mmmmhmmmm) Anyways I refrained because I didn’t want to behave like a dumbass child. Well I didn’t want to behave as a bigger dumbass  errr child. So as I was saying, after I bit my tongue about singing, I had to really consider what was safe to tell this man.

This is a nice guy. I chose to be honest with him. I told him I had a horrible, flesh-eating disease and that the treatment is in Poland and lasts 3 years….okay I didn’t sing AND I didn’t lie. I told him an abbreviated version of the truth.

I’m looking for a best friend that I can’t keep my hands off of. I want a companion and a partner in crime and someone who doesn’t get upset over my childish ways.

That WAS the truth, I just couldn’t find a way to also say….

He’s a real smooth brother, never in a rush
And he gives me goose pimples with every single touch
Spends quality time with his kids when he can
Secure in his manhood cuz he’s a real man
A lover and a fighter and he’ll knock a knucker out
Don’t take him for a sucker cuz that’s not what he’s about
Every time I need him, he always got my back
Never disrespectful cuz his mama taught him that

Okay someone just told me that was the lyrics to a Salt and Pepa song. WHAT??? (yeah I am kidding-I think it’s a full moon or something.) I will get serious for a moment. What I wish I could say is everything I told him plus…

I really want a man who will take the lead. I don’t want to run things all the time. I would like to meet a man who won’t put up with my crap. However, I want the man to be able to stand up to me respectfully. I need a man who likes to make out. (Well I do-good girls like making out too.)

Perhaps I am looking for too much. I would just like to qualify those requirements with this: I am not looking for money, or movie star looks. I just want that compatibility. I experienced a lot of those qualities. I just never experienced them in the same man. I’ve already had my best friend with mad chemistry. The kind of love that is unconditional. Unfortunately, it was not reciprocated. I would have gone to hell and back for that man. What a pity. Anyways, my instincts tell me I am on the right course. The course I am on is also the moral of my little post…I DO want those qualities. I DO NOT need a man. I WANT a partner. I WILL wait for them. I WILL NOT serial date to find them, and when I find a man who has potential..I WILL invest some time into him. So fellow readers my advice is: discover what you really want, set some boundaries and try to invest some time in the man/woman with potential….. Until next time-how about a song? I just love me some 90’s hip hop…xoxoxoxo…Ciao

Thank you AGAIN!!

Thank you to angelicreader for nominating me and I HIGHLY recommend you check out the blog. Its a great way to discover reviews and perhaps learn about books you didn’t know existed.  I hate to get all mushy but it is really moving that someone appreciates what I have to share. So thank you and thank you and thank you!

The rules are very simple – The rules for the Liebster are to thank the person who nominated you, answer the 11 question they have asked you, nominate 11 other people and ask them 11 questions in return. According to the guidelines the Liebster award should be sent to bloggers with less than 200 followers so that new bloggers can see how awesome they are!

Here are my answers to the 11 questions:

1. What was the first thing you thought when your received this nomination? Wow someone thought my blog had value!

2. What are your biggest fears? To die alone-oh and opening those tin cans of biscuits..perhaps a fatal biscuit opening event where no one is around to help.

3. Why did you start a blog? To help educate myself and others about dating in sin city.

4. If you could have anything in the whole world right now, what would it be?(not necessarily in this order)  A tiara, a pony and a boyfriend that is an incredible kisser-I love a good kisser…

5. When you get that pay check / allowance each month what is the first thing you do with it? bills, savings, etc – Really a bunch of boring grown up stuff.

6. If your inner child could talk to you, what would it say? Dance Sara Dance!

7. What is your dream job? To own a dance studio

8. Everyone has an addiction, what is yours? Bubble gum…I just found Orange Crush flavored Hubba Bubba..mmmmhmmmm

9. What is the first thing you do when you wake up? Make coffee 🙂

10.What is your favourite cartoon character and why? Gotta be Miss Piggy. She was the first true diva I ever saw and she has great taste in shoes and she kicks butt. I love a diva that kicks butt.

11. What is the motto you live by? “Don’t tread on me” just kidding hahaha I guess I’ve never given that much thought. Maybe “If at first you don’t succeed, get up and try again.”

HERE’s My questions:

1. Why did you start your blog?

2. What do you want to be when you grow up?

3. Who do you consider your role mode?

4. What’s your favorite color?

5. What’s your favorite movie?

6. What’s your biggest pet peeve?

7. If you could have three wishes, what would they be?

8. What’s your favorite song?

9. What did you dream about last?

10. Is a tomato a vegetable or a fruit? Explain? (um I’m kinda running out of ideas)

11. If you were an animal, what would you be?

Okay so you have my questions..Here’s my nominees….wait for it………

1. New Single Guy  – Always great to hear about single life from the other side…plus I married my HS sweetheart too-I can relate.
2. Chronicles of the Romantically Challenged – She cracks me up! New blogger but a very entertaining writer
3. Confessions of an Online Dater – We both started our blogs around the same time-love reading her adventures
4. Diary of an Aspiring – You are one of a kind my dear!
5. Masterdaterblog – Another very new blogger but she’s good!
6. Stacey’s Adventures – “It all started with a dream to move to Alaska.”
7. Patinspire – LOVE the motivation..Keep it coming
8. Singleisfunny – Sometimes singe is funny but your posts are great!
9. Project Southsea Blog – very good writer with an interesting perspective on life
10. Like Crazy – I like reading about the adventures of the next generation of professional women- um I’m not old yet – but college seems a little bit away-Keep rocking girl!
11. Loveactually2013 – this is a brand new blog but I love reading it so far!

Congrats to all. I LOVE every single blog I follow!  Remember this award is for bloggers with less than 200 followers. Pay it forward and recognize other new writers!!! xoxoxoxo – – Ciao

Don’t Let Your Crazy Out!

Oh My Oh My..I only took a couple of Psychology classes in college but I had a field day with this. The message below screams “Help Get Me Some Meds” (Oh and I’m not being mean, I’m being serious.) This pearl of a man sent me a message last week about how he was in bed with his two snakes and three dogs. (Yeah I know..I kinda don’t need to say much else-right?) MY FIRST mistake was not blocking him but I don’t really date a lot right now (I’m trying to just get to know one person at a time and follow my own advice..yeah that’s how I roll..boom) so I didn’t bother. Tonight this homeboy let his crazy out! 

I wonder how u make so much money 
U may have to work ure ass off for that? I come from the other side….I try mostly just to serve only myself…it offends me to serve other people….I used to work at Kentucky fried chicken as a dishwasher…..it was a good job I enjoyed some of it allot… 
It kept me in good shape working there…..but sometimes id get customers that would annoy me sometimes even spooky ones 
So ive become a bum who just stays at home….I try to listen to noone…..but it has started to work against my best wishes…. 
I used to love having all the time in the world…. 
But I have lost control of my mind….so its not the same anymore 
Im getting old and senile…..I value my family and my animals who r very close to me…..my mind is broken…it doesnt work like it used to….I dont know why u wont write me…..maybe u thought I am a psychotic asshole piece of shit….. 
I didnt mean to make u feel that way 
I dont take this site dead serious all the time…. 
I spend so much time alone…its hard for me to see these date sites as nothing much more than a self entertainment 
if u rnt a lonely kind of person…u may not understand how that can be like……I can even be lonely with allot of people around because sometimes I dont feel connected to anyone

I won’t even begin to address the spelling errors. (Horrible grammar bugs the hell outta me-just sayin) However, I’m sorry Mister-I really am. I do know what it feels like to be lonely. I feel that way often. However, I DON’T know….how it feels to be crazy. (At least I don’t think I do!) So my lesson to you today folks is: Beware of the crazies online pretty effin’ obvious right? Oh and to my crazy friends: Hide your crazy-don’t let it out like this to strangers. (It may get you in trouble.) 

Until next time.. Ciao

10 Tips About Dating in Las Vegas

Las Vegas is a beautiful, crazy city.  I’ve included a few tips to dating in sin city that I have observed…Enjoy!

1. VIP means the guy/gal goes to the same casino a LOT (I’m judging anything other than using that phrase.)
2. Entrepreneur usually means unemployed (consultant can sometimes mean that too)
3. Someone stating they live with family probably lives with their parents. (Hey I get that people may need to take care of their parents-I plan on doing that myself- but if you are living in the room you grew up in at 40-you’re probably not my type.)
4. I do not recommend dating someone who is still living with his/her ex. (This is not something I’ve done but I have witnessed it. This is a recipe for disaster. Danger Danger-and for some reason I’ve been hearing about it a lot lately and perhaps it’s our job market)
5. Do not ever two-time a police officer. (I happen to love and attract police officers but I am not a two-timer either. This is once again sage advice I am sharing from someone who experienced it recently. You probably don’t want to break a cop’s heart in this town-for realsies.)
6. For my gentlemen friends: Please do not complain about not finding a good women in this town when all you do is date strippers or base a woman’s worth on her bra size. (I am NOT hating on strippers or the well endowed…but really.)
7. For my lady friends: Please do not complain about not finding a good man in this town when all you do is date a guy’s wallet. (Yep I said it like that. There is more to life than money.)
8. For ALL my friends: Please quit complaining about being alone when you cheat on everyone you date. (Um I can pretty much guarantee you will not keep anyone of quality in your life if you always cheat. So if you’re acting like a player that’s all you’re gonna get.)
9. Beware of anyone that moved to Las Vegas abruptly, without a job, and without a valid reason. (Saying you moved here for the jobs is NO LONGER a good reason. People often move to LV to escape or run from something else – I don’t know why.)
10. Always look for signs that the man/woman you are dating is living a relatively clean life. (This means if you are dating someone who makes great money but is always broke and always at the casino then he/she may have a problem. This is sin city and it’s called that for a reason. There is too much temptation here for someone with a highly addictive personality.)

I love Las Vegas. I struggle with the dating scene BUT this is a city unlike any other in the world. What I can’t seem to figure out is…Why does everyone I talk to – single men and women – complain about finding a good person to be with? I hear it so much I wonder what “good” must mean. Seems like there are a lot of lonely people struggling but 99% of the men I date are icky. How come we struggle?

Anyways..Until next time…Ciao!

It’s NOT Playing, It’s Dating – Practical Dating Advice

Being single has helped me grow as a person. It really has! OK-it still kinda sucks BUT I have grown! As usual I over-analyzed the entire process and I made it waaaaay harder than it is. I read all these theories on dating and the “game of dating.” Well I would like to introduce everyone to MY dating advice….drum roll please…..

It’s only a game when you’re dating a player. It IS NOT a game. It is life and deals with real people. If a man I want to date chooses to make it a game…well I am NOT playing his reindeer games!

However, let me back up for a minute and explain. I wrote a post titled Should I Call Him or Not.  This was the beginning for me, You see we are taught all these rules like: Don’t call for three days, never call a man first, be interested but not too interested-blah blah blah. It’s stupid and it’s not good advice. Ladies, I want to share my wisdom. ****Take it for what it’s worth****

• Men like to know you are interested.
• If a man waits three days to call you he’s not that into you-for real.
• It’s okay to put your feelings out there.

I have to address the last one really quick. This applies to all the I.N.D.E.P.E.N.D.E.N.T. women out there. (I also need to share some background info quickly.) I experienced a horrible childhood where I was often left to raise myself. In my world, people always broke promises. As an adult I have only really loved two men. One died and one abandoned me. What did that leave? It left a very strong woman who does not risk emotional rejection. Why would I when everyone has always let me down? Oh and hey-I hate pity. There are people who have had much harder lives than me. I am explaining why I – and so many women – are afraid to risk pain. Ladies: You can’t have any type of real love if you don’t risk rejection. BUT..you can do it! It starts with dropping the games and the cold front and saying to someone worthy: “Hey, I’d like to see you” or “Hey I just called to say hello and hear your voice.” Start small but start. Let me continue with my advice.

• Dating is ONLY a game when you are dating a PLAYER. (Can’t stress that enough)
• If a man doesn’t have time for you he’s not interested.
• A man will not choose you because you’re pretty.

What the what?? Did she just say that?? Yes I did. I am guilty of it. In fact, I was guilty of assuming men -um good men- would flock to me because I am attractive. No I am not conceited but well….I just figured. I am a catch and I am pretty and I am in good shape and I am successful and I can still do the splits at my age-yadda yadda yadda. Do you notice all the “I’s” in there? You will attract a good man with a nice outer package but you will not KEEP a good man with a nice presentation alone. Ladies: Have you ever seen a nice guy with a woman and you wondered how she got so lucky. (Come on I know you have. I have too.) I will tell you why with my next point.

• Men need a woman that makes them feel special. (not just a woman that looks good.)
• Dating is not complicated – we make it so

Seriously isn’t dating sometimes like this? Just a big WTF ???

• If the man we are talking to keeps disappearing and coming back – you’re not his primary focus.
• We should not be dating several men at once.

Yep I said we should not be dating several men at once. If you find a good man, why shouldn’t you invest just a little of your energy into getting to know him first? If you are just dating for the sake of dating, I wonder why? I already made my stand against serial dating. I am not going to convince you to agree with me either. Serial dating is….errr….interesting. BUT I am busy and it IS exhausting. I am a single mother with a very busy career. Who has time to waste on players and jerks? If you do have time rock on. However, I think it will be pretty hard to get to know a really good guy when you are dating three others. How can you make him feel special? Oh and if you’re worried about him dating tons of women-STOP. If he is, he won’t make time for you and he’s a player and turning the idea of dating into a game. Ya get my drift? It’s only a game when you’re dating a player. Real men want you to call them (not stalk them call them-derr)…Say it with me ladies…”It’s only a GAME when you’re dating a PLAYER.” It’s just not that complicated. I feel like I missed something but I was really eager to share this once my theory transformed into a belief. I hope it helps someone beside me and my BFF.

***Disclaimer-I know that some of you may be younger or at a different point in your life. I can only share the perspective of a 33-year-old single mother with a career because that’s who I am. I am sharing advice for women who are looking for something solid and stable. Take it for what it’s worth and from the demographic it is coming from.***

Ciao for now!

Inspiring!

I guess I can be inspiring! Nice! Seriously, when I started the blog it was out of shock of what the dating world was like. I can honestly and truly say that marriage is hard. BUT it is waaaaay easier than dating. So I decided to write, share and hopefully help someone else. What I never ever expected or realized existed was such an amazing group of writers in the blogging community. I receive way more than I give from everyone. I am happy, humbled and honored for the third award. Yeah but enough of the mushiness. A special thanks to a very insightful man (um yes I believe they exist.) He’s romantic and in-tune with his emotional needs which is amazing in any person. I love reading his stuff..Thank you Prinze Charming for the nomination. I hope everyone takes a minute to check out his stuff cuz it’s worth it!

I’ve been working on so many house projects this weekend that I’ve actually been writing this for three days 🙂 I just noticed I was nominated again and I promise to follow-up ASAP!

The Very Inspiring Blogger Award

Here are the rules of the award:
1.) Display the award logo on your blog.
2.) Link back to the person who nominated you.
3.) State 7 things about yourself.
4.) Nominate 15 bloggers for this award.
5.) Notify those bloggers of the nomination by linking to one of their specific posts so that they get notified by ping back.

Okay so here goes….7 things about me

1.) I am addicted to bubble gum. My favorite is bubblicious grape flavored and it is hard to find.

2.) I miss someone terribly that I will never be able to lay eyes on again.

3.) I am a dancer at heart and used to teach hip hop to adults at a local studio and would love to find the time to do so again.

4.) I have two amazing sons.

5.) I sing in the car at the top of my lungs.

6.) I am terrified of those cans of biscuits that you have to peel the paper off of to open. The pop scares the beejesus out of me.

7.) I wish I didn’t have to date.

My 15 Nominees…go visit their site or something terrible may happen like a hangnail or a bad hair cut…

PS: I love everybody I follow!!

1.) Mitch Being Honest – I love an honest man 🙂

2.) Memoirs of a Mom Who Ticks – I can relate to her ventures as a single mom

3.) Danny Does Vegas – Thank you for all the ideas of things to do in Las Vegas

4.) Clark Kent – Simply a beautiful mind

5.) The Daft Diaries – I really find your posts entertaining

6.) Theinnerwildkat – An incredibly talented writer and one of the first blogs I ever followed

7.) What Would Matt Say – I like to follow his stuff, it’s good!

8.) Sea Play Photography – Breathtaking photos

9.) Modernideals – New blogger like me but good stuff!

10.) Fishing for Fish – I am too!! Love it!

11.) Maggiejustmaysaythis – She is a great writer and I love her stuff.

12.) Women Cyclists – Coffee and dog lover = a  great person

13.) Stereotypical Man – Yeah he is and its awesome!

14.) Created – create.it – Great writer and I love the pictures shared!

15.) Vagenda Vixen – She’s off the charts and I love it.

CHECK THEM OUT—–They’re GREAT!!!

Online Dating Faux Pas – communication failures

Psst: I am really speaking to the fellas here (only because of my experiences) but this can pertain to any gender. So I am gonna rant a wee bit tonight. HOWEVER, I do really want to help. (It’s in my nature.) This is an attempt to make myself useful again. A couple of them might be repeats from previous posts but I really am trying to drive the point across. Here we go!

1. Please stop writing Drama free or No games in your profile. It’s tired, worn out and cliché. Oh and hey-life is drama so let’s keep it real.

2. Do not continuously wink at someone without communicating with them. Look dude-you wink, I wink back-MAKE A MOVE. Quit winking over and over cuz I am too busy to deal with that.

3. Please read the profile of the person you are making contact with. This means if a profile states that he/she is looking for a committed relationship, you should not ask if the person is looking for a hook-up. KNOW YOUR AUDIENCE.

4. Make sure you use the correct name when addressing someone after the initial email.  Um I get it if you are talking to other people. BUT you need to get my name right-it’s tacky and a major FAUX PAS.

5. Do not pigeon-hole yourself into a text relationship. This ties into the winking. Make initial contact, exchange numbers, send a couple of texts, and schedule a meeting. It’s like that yo. Most people are tired of the texting non stop with no plans to meet.

6. Spell check on initial contact email and spell check on your profile. Basically..spell check. A couple of errors are human but rampant errors are questionable.

7. Declarations of love right after or before a first date are not cool. Just not cool.

8. Do not start online dating if you are still living with someone. I don’t need to even say more here. You get it-right? 

9. Do not start online dating when you are still dating someone. This is right along the lines with the previous statement.

10. If you message someone a couple of times and they do not respond-stop. Messaging me or anyone 8 times in an hour is NOT going to make me want to respond more. It really won’t.

11. If you have any pictures online (this is for the gentlemen) with no shirt on-take them down. How many times do I have to say it? PUT a shirt on. All those pictures with someone flexing in the mirror make a man seem like a real douche. For real.

12. Please do not use bathroom mirror shots. If you do have them, at least clean your bathroom first. I get how sometimes you want to show your potentials how smoking hot you are but the mess could be left out.

***DISCLAIMER: If you are guilty of any of these things please consider two things. 1. This is my opinion. I can’t proclaim to speak for every woman. In fact, I usually feel like the rarity in my city. 2. We all make mistakes. I do, you do, everyone does. No worries-everything can be fixed with the right effort.***

Happy Online Dating!! It certainly is a TRIP!!

Until next time…Ciao

I.N.D.E.P.E.N.D.E.N.T

She’s got her own house, she’s got her own car, works hard, two jobs, she’s a bad broad. That’s a favorite song of mine (yes I love rap and hip hop-I just do.) I like to box to that song on my heavy bag.  So a pretty nice guy I’ve been kinda sorta talking to told me I am so independent that it’s intimidating. Apparently, he didn’t like the fact I told him I was busy today and no I did not need his help. Okay, technically I blew him off last night too. AND I guess if you want to be really specific, I blew him off Friday too. Although I also blew another guy off Friday night as well. Guess I screwed up huh?

Nah…I don’t care. Not really, guess I don’t have the “special feeling” for him. As I stated in my post No More Serial Dating I’m Waiting (that is so coooool-just discovered how to link stuff) I am not really feeling the dating just to date scene. I cancelled both dates because I have decided to not serial date. I went out with a girlfriend I hadn’t hung out with in a long time. It was fun!  I am actually a little disinterested over the whole dating thing. Yes I am lonely-sometimes. Yes I really crave intimacy and companionship. It’s just….well…I aint finding it so I’m not going to exhaust myself looking. Until I find it, I have been doing house projects My House Looks Amazing and rekindling some of the friendships I let fade. I am going to even look for an alternative to online dating. (But that’s a secret and I will post about it soon.) I feel better now. Like the pressures off. That’s no fooley’s…

However, the conversation did intrigue me. I was just having a conversation about this topic with my BFF earlier this week. We both are very self-sufficient women and we are both challenged in finding a good man. Meanwhile, it seems like ***disclaimer-this is only my opinion so chill*** our weaker, more dependent friends find great guys. Why the he&* is that? Am I to be punished for not needing my bills paid or for being strong enough to not complain all the time? I am not doing anything special. I am not looking for recognition. I handle the business that needs to be handled. Actually-I am a HECK of a team player. Why is it my fault that my team only consists of one? Is it that I am not vulnerable enough? I am kinda – I just don’t always show it.

So my friend and I were discussing how we can change that. Well, I’ve already vowed to show more interest in the next guy I am really intrigued by as I stated in Should I Call Him or Not?  (Hee hee hee – I am feeling mighty fancy with that.) We were even contemplating showing more vulnerability, blah blah blah. I AM going to compromise and show more interest-I PROMISE-with the next guy I really like. So should I step it up even more? I’ve been thinking about it and….

Nope! I’m going to stay me. I am not going to simper and be ridiculous so a man will want to take care of me (If I am faking it-it will appear ridiculous and unnatural.) I am going to continue to be genuine and perhaps I will be a little less stubborn (that’s another story altogether.) However, I am definitely not going to pretend to be weak or force myself to show more vulnerability. I am sorry….I just can’t do it. What’s my moral? I know this has gone on an on-right? My moral is to stay true to who you are while on the dating scene. Simple really……

Until next time….Ciao

It’s too much! Emails and Dating Mistakes..

I am having one of those weeks. It’s like now that I decided I don’t care about dating every guy is coming at me. (and of course not a normal one-not yet!) I designed my blog to help people…and to help myself figure out this dating stuff. So let me share some wisdom on communication failures.

If you just met me and send me an email like this,…you’re gonna get a blow off and a possible restraining order.

 I think we could be right for each other because unto the end of time, I will be there for you. You would own my heart and mind, I would truly adore you. Love is too weak to define just what you  mean to me. From the first moment I saw you, I knew you were the one. I truly adore you, you don’t know what you mean to me. Seriously

It is such a shame that I am hearing these words from someone I barely know. What I wouldn’t have given to hear something like this from a man I loved. Coming from someone after one date is just plain ole’ CREEPY!

Now let’s discuss this next one..

I am looking for my soul-mate eventually of course (yeah I still believe) i am looking for that one woman who is strong, comfortable in her own skin, confident, who knows what she wants, laughs and love’s deeply. A woman who is dorky and funny, independent and open minded, silly and sarcastic, intelligent and immature. A woman who will be Challenging my beliefs and making me question my opinions is my biggest turn on. I’m very positive and honest and very comfortable with who I am. I know what I want from life and I just need a great woman to share it with. I would love to open my heart and have that woman in my life to explore my heart, my soul, and my mind, but by that time she will probably have my love already,
I hope this gives you a glimpse of who I am, and I would love to get to know you better. You seem a very nice woman to get to know more of, and it will be more than an honor for me.

Oh my! I mean what do I do with that shiznit? I think he means well.  It’s just tooooooo much for me-ya know? I mean we only had coffee and you follow the date up with this??? (not to mention there are TONS of spelling and grammar mistakes.) Geesh!

BUT….The BIG winner….The email (from someone I HAVEN’T even MET) that made me want to blog about this and warn all of my over-zealous friends and readers….

My dear, i was going through your profile. I was glad of the cute words i read from your profile, you sound so beautiful and interesting. My heart and soul was full of joy when
i saw your photo. I am deeply in love with you. I want to be involved in a serious relationship with
you that will last forever. I wish to live with you as
husband and wife do, forever more lovingly and
happily.

Um……….yeah. That’s all I can say about that one. Not sure if this person is even real..This is a delete and block type of communication..Uber weird and just…ick!

What’s the moral today??? If you are very interested in a woman/guy….tone it down or reel it in! Do not proclaim love after the first date or…before-heeheehee! It’s too much and will cause the object of your interest to run…just sayin.

Until next time…Ciao!