Ahhh..Memories

About 2 years ago I went on a date with a  U.S. Marshal. He was kind of intense but we had a great first meeting. For our second date, we went to a local bar for drinks. We had a nice date. We chatted and there seemed to be chemistry. The date ended on a solid note.

He text me that night. Then he text me the following day and we had this conversation:

“I am really attracted to you and you seem like a good woman. Do you know what I’ve always really wanted?” I replied with,” What?”  He proceeded to tell me this, “I’ve always secretly wanted to be with a woman who will cheat on me with multiple men. Maybe even let me watch.”  WTF??? “Well that’s not really what I’m into and we are not looking for the same thing.” (NOW I just think this dude is another LV Douche Bag. Scratch this homeboy off the list..ya know!) Lastly, he replied with, “Oh me either, I was just playing.”

Moral: Can you say delete and block?? I can!  I guess my moral is simple today. Dating is HARD! Hang in there and remember you are not alone in the struggle.  Oh and if you have these types of desires…wait until you really know the person. Derr…

Until Next Time…Ciao

 

 

Date Gone Bad!!!

Sara,

What do you do when your date totally embarrasses you?  I recently went out with this woman who I met online.  Our first “coffee date” was pretty cool and I thought she was really nice. On our second date we went to dinner at a very nice restaurant. She ordered a salad.  When the  waitress brought it out my date came completely unglued!  She totally freaked out saying this salad doesn’t look the same as the salad she had last time she was there. What was the matter with it!  She gave the waitress a really hard time and demanded to see the manager.  The waitress and the manager were doing everything possible to make her happy, they brought her another salad they gave her a bunch of extra stuff, they apologized profusely but nothing would make her happy she complained during the entire dinner.  In the meantime I was so embarrassed I didn’t know what to do. Her salad looked fine to me, but she was throwing a fit. We finished eating and she took everything she could off the table and put it in her purse.  I was so embarrassed I left the server a 50% tip and we left.

I thought maybe this was just a one-time thing and so we went out again the next week.   We went to another really nice restaurant and she threw another fit!  She had to call in the manager and complain about one of the servers it was so embarrassing I wanted to crawl under the table.  Needless to say I am not calling this woman back and truthfully, I hope I never see her again. 

 What should a guy do when his date is embarrassing him like crazy?

 

Wowsers! I am sorry to say I laughed pretty hard at the imagery of someone stealing everything off the table. I think the question posed to me is, “What do you do in this type of situation?”

Advice: Well honestly Anonymous, I would not go on another date with that person! Also, if a date ever steals things off the table, then you should probably not ask her out again. (just sayin..) Although, I think that is “hindsight is 20/20″ type of advice. My real advice is if you are ever in that type of awkward, bad vibe, geesh this date is cray cray type of scenario again….end it. I literally would say something like this,”I can tell you are having a rough night and this is not my idea of appropriate behaviour. Thank you for meeting me but this is not what I am looking for.” (I promise you I have actually said something along those lines before during a bad date.) You see most people don’t handle things that way so they are shocked by it. If you say it firmly, politely, and in a manner that leaves no room for argument..I guarantee you will catch them off guard enough to make an exit. I left a bad date with his jaw wide open in a similar manner in the middle of dinner. He called me to apologize but really…..you just can’t put the toothpaste back in the tube. (I’m full of useless clichés tonight!) You can choose to not tolerate that type of behavior and tell the bad date that and RUN or…………You can always go the bathroom and not come back. I prefer directness BUT the choice is up to you!

Until Next Time….Ciao!

7 Bad Date Exit Strategies

My only addition would be the following:

• Men looking to get out of a bad date: Ask the woman if she would like to go back to your place and meet your parents. Mention how your mother still cooks for you and washes your laundry.  If this does not work, ask if she can cover the bill because you forgot your wallet. This will send women running…I promise.

 

• Women looking to get out of a bad date: Start planning the wedding. Then proceed to talk about all the babies you want to have. You can even have fun with this and start naming them at the table. This has a 99.99% success rate and I have used it personally with success.

Another Single Woman's Blog

We’ve ALL been there. The Bad Date.

Sitting at a table across from your date and wondering how in the hell you’re going to get out of the situation. I’ve compiled a short list of ways to do this. Some require minimal pre-planning and some can be done on the fly. These are options that can be used when you don’t feel like saying to the person’s face:

” You’re a creepy bastard and you look NOTHING like your pictures. There’s no fucking way I want to stay another minute let alone EVER want to have sex with you.”

Most of us wouldn’t have the guts to say that in person so here’s what else you can do:

1.  Go to the bathroom but don’t come back. This only works if you are seated where your date can’t see the bathroom AND the exit.
2.  Tell your date you’re going to the…

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Should I Call Him or Not???

I am beginning to think I am too distant during the initial stages of dating. Unfortunately, I have been on a lot of initial dates lately. Most of them have been jerks or creepers. Some of them have bored me to death. (No I’m not super picky but I need some personality because I like to laugh and have fun.) A couple of them might have been steady dating material. BUT…..I seem to lose them (I’m referring to the good ones-the boring ones and jerks/creepers ALWAYS call me back) after a few dates.  I do not usually call first and I only randomly text. But hey..I am a busy woman and I don’t really know them yet. So…I am probably too stand offish.

Why? Well one of them told me so.Then he told me he would like it if I called him. Then I blew it by not calling. I know what you’re thinking! “Geesh Sara why didn’t you call him?” I didn’t call him because I am an idiot-derr. Or maybe I just wasn’t that into him-lol! My point isn’t that specific guy anyways because I am not pining over him…but….I did start thinking about what he said. He described me as hard to read. So this might be a problem-eh? I recently heard a story about the opposite. (Which is why I even started thinking about this issue in the first place.)

A man I know was telling me about this woman he was dating. He went on three dates with her. He called me one day and was complaining about how often she called/text.GUESS how many times she was contacting him??? She was calling him 4 times a day and texting him at least 6 times a day. Who has effin time for that? That is excessive. Right? No wonder his reaction was one of annoyance. In return, he finally got fed up when she woke him up on a Saturday and he dumped her. Bless her heart. She spooked him off. Stalker

So it appears that other women do call the guys they are just starting to date more than I do. (Obviously too much is not good either.) Here’s my new self challenge to myself. The next guy I meet that I actually really like (unfortunately there have not been many) I will make an effort to be a little more interested-well to act a little more interested. Maybe the average Las Vegas male needs that? Moral for the day: It’s okay to let a man know you’re interested. However, please be sure you don’t become a bugaboo.

Until next time…Ciao

 

I Don’t Owe You NUTHIN!

I wasn’t going to blog about this but its been festering and boiling and out it comes….My New Year’s Eve was spent on a first date. Yeah I know what you’re thinking…Bold move…right? Well yes, I know it was but he was a seemingly nice guy. We had been talking on the phone for a while if it’s any consolation.

Okay, Okay,  I guess we were only talking on the phone for about a week but who’s counting right? He’s a somewhat successful and somewhat prominent man in town but I’m a lot like Shania Twain..”That don’t impress me much.” However, it’s certainly not a bad thing. Well, I am talking to him about the evening and he states would I be open to staying out all night. I tell him, “You mean like really late?”  He didn’t exactly answer me. (It just never dawns on me that he might mean something else. I promise it didn’t.) Then he told me he planned on getting a room because drinking was involved. (Once again, this makes sense to me because a DUI on his record will ruin his career.) AND…Just like that the date is scheduled.

We arrive at the designated meeting place and decide on eating Sushi. I love me some Sushi so  this isn’t a bad start. We get to the restaurant and he makes the waiter move us three times. In fact, the Manager actually came by to visit us and ensure we are okay. Naturally, we start drinking. At this point, I really kinda need a drink. After a couple of drinks, my dates ego starts to grow. In fact he implies certain things that are starting to make me wonder if this is the “real” person and the liquor is making him put his guard down. I love me an ego on a man too-almost as much as Sushi but I do not like people who feel entitled. Cuz really you’re not….

Mr. Date proceeds to let me know that he is a king and he only has the best. He implies that this is why he is spending the holiday with me. (what’s that I smell???? Oh you’re following me, I know you are…) He also lets me know he does nothing without a purpose and asks me, “Why are you here with me?” I reply with, “Um to get to know you.” He lets me know that is a bad answer….Uh Okay dude….we ring in the new year and this guy is pretty touchy feely. That’s okay too. I mean we are in a public place (so he can’t get out of hand) and it is New Year’s! 10, 9 ,8 ,7, 6, 5, 4, 3, 2, 1…HAPPY NEW YEAR!!!

As 2013 arrives, Mr. Date starts getting pushier and starts trying to convince me to go to his room. Well that……….AINT GONNA HAPPEN. I am not that type of girl. He keeps pushing and anyone who knows me knows I am one STUBBORN chica. I said no and I meant it! So there…Well he became offended. Not only offended but he never called me again. How rude – yet an almost predictable response.

WHAT EV ER

Since that night, I have been told that I should have expected it because it was New Year’s Eve. I guess I have to chalk it up to inexperience. To me a first date is a first date regardless of what day it falls on. AND I am NOT going to someone’s house/room on a first date. Derr…..

Moral: Always be prepared to stand up for your own unique set of values on a date. Always be prepared for the possibility of offending someone on a date. Always be prepared…

Until next time…Ciao!!!

Want to Impress Her? Do This:

So guys, you are on a first date and you would really like to impress her and distinguish yourself from all the other guys that she is dating.  Well, in case you don’t have a Ferrari, private jet, unlimited supplies of cash and Brad Pitt’s private cell phone number here are a few ideas that will work to impress your date.

First, try using some old fashioned chivalry.

• Come around and open the car door and the restaurant door for her.
• Help her on and off with her jacket/coat.
• At the restaurant, pull her chair out for her.
• If she leaves the table and then comes back, stand up until she is seated.
• Let her order first.
• Don’t start eating until she is served.
• If she is cold let her wear your jacket.

I know these things sound kind of out dated but I guarantee you that women love it! They will think much more highly of you too if you do these things.  Most men don’t, and it will distinguish you over many of their other dates.  If you don’t believe me, try it.  It works.

Second take a genuine interest in her.  One thing everyone likes to talk about is themselves.  Women especially love to talk and they love to talk about themselves.  The more you listen to her talk and take a sincere interest in what she is saying the more she will like you.

One of my favorite TV shows is Two and a Half men.  There is this one episode where Charlie is listening to his brother’s ex-wife Judith talk about all of her problems. All he keeps saying is “Judith, I understand” (in reality he has no clue as to what she is talking about nor does he care) but because he let’s her know that “he understands” she instantly is drawn to him and even though she really hates him he now becomes her best friend.

Finally, do what you say you will do!  One thing that all women really hate is if you say you will call and then you don’t.  If you really want her to like you, call her when you said you would.

These are just a few ideas that have worked well for me.  I’m sure there are lot’s of other things you can do, but this would be a really good start.

“Only Fools Rush In…”

…Or at least that’s what Elvis said in his famous song, I Can’t Help Falling In Love With You. Yup, I am one of those fools that he is talking about.

So here’s what happened. Just 3 days after my wife left me I met a woman at of all places, a singles dance at church! Then, exactly 3 weeks later she moved in with me and a few months after that we got married! I’m sure you can see where this one is going and you are right, it did not turn out good at all and now I have yet another ex-wife!

Yup, I’m a fool, I rushed in and it was a huge mistake. The reason I’m bringing all of this up is because I learned three very hard lessons from this experience and I hope you don’t have to learn them the same way I did.

Lesson One: Don’t ever date out of revenge! Never date someone in an effort to get over a previous relationship. I was hurt very badly by my ex-wife. I thought I’ll show you, I’ll just find someone else and replace you! That never turns out good because your intentions are totally wrong. You should date someone and build a relationship with them because of what the two of you have together, not just to get back at someone else who hurt you.

Lesson Two: Slow it down! We all know how intoxicating that infatuation stage of dating can be. You know, when you first are falling in love and the other person can do no wrong. Well, I can tell you that stage wears off and there will come a time when that other person can and will do a whole lot of wrong. If you have rushed in and made a commitment before you see what you are really getting into chances are it will turn out to be bad, really really bad!

Lesson Three: If it is a problem when you are dating, it will only get worse if you get married. When my ex and I rushed in we were both aware of the fact that we had vastly different views regarding religion. It was a tiny problem when we were dating. However, after we were married it was a HUGE Deal Breaking issue and as it turned out it was the main reason that our marriage was doomed to fail.

Dating gives us an opportunity to really get to know someone on a deep level and to figure out if this is the person that we want to be with. However, if you “Rush In” you will totally miss out on that opportunity. I know I have done it, now don’t you be a “Fool” like I was.

The Mysterious Case of the Disappearing Woman

If you have been involved in the crazy mixed up world of online dating for even a short period of time I’m sure you have probably encountered what I like to call the strange case of the “disappearing woman.”

One of the first women that I met in my online dating experience seemed really nice. We went through all of the steps of emailing, texting, talking on the phone etc. and then finally agreed to meet for a low-key casual “coffee date.” Well, that date ended up lasting 2 + hours and it seemed like we had a real connection.

The next night we went to dinner together. We had a great time and I really felt like we had a connection. She actually texted me that night after the date saying what a great time she had and was really looking forward to seeing me again. Sounds like she was pretty interested..right?

I called her the next day and left her a voice mail message. She texted me right back saying that she was just going into her yoga class and would call me later. Once again she said that she had a really great time the night before and was looking forward to talking to me again soon.

Well, guess what, no call that night, the next day or ever! I sent her a couple of texts and left another voice mail message and nothing. She just disappeared! I hope she wasn’t hit by a bus or eaten by a lion, but I have no idea. She just disappeared.

It is fine if you don’t want to see me anymore, but don’t just disappear! That is just plain rude! I know that online dating is crazy and messed up, but come on ladies, show a little class and have a some common courtesy. If you don’t want to see someone anymore at least take a couple of minutes and send a short text, email or phone call. It’s not that tough to say “I have decided to see someone else.” It’s just common courtesy and it certainly shows a lot more class than simply being the “disappearing woman.”

Dating SAFETY!!! The Basics of Dating Safely

So we all know that it’s a jungle out there right? I mean, not only is the psychology of dating exhausting, but it can most certainly be physically dangerous. In an effort to educate, I have created a simple list of basics.

• Do not have a first date take pick you up at your house. (This seems like a no-brainer but I gotta put it out there.)
• Never drink too much on a date-until you really know and trust the person. (I did this once and luckily barely avoided what could have been a VERY dangerous situation)
• Do not share more than the other person shares. (Hey if I can’t know where you live, you don’t need to know where I live-whatcha hiding?)
• Do not leave your drink unattended at the bar. (I’m serious about this one-really really serious. I had a girlfriend that almost DIED because she did this..and guess what? The guy was a friend of a friend!)
• Be aware of your surroundings. (Don’t let someone catch you leaving down a dark alley on the way to your car all alone at 12am at night.
• Know the person’s full name before you date them. (If any man/woman has a problem with wanting to know who the heck you’re dating…well I have a problem with them.)
• If you are unsure, run some internet searches. (Hey I know I mentioned cyber stalking and I am ONLY recommending this if you are unsure-and I mean really unsure. I know its uncool but the truth is, we wouldn’t have to be if the person was being forthright. You can never be too careful..go with your instinct. Also, it is remarkably easy to research someone. Be open about it-you’re invading privacy and that’s touchy- if asked and always be transparent with the other person. This means if they do the same to you it’s all good in the hood-right?That keeps it fair! I have found some people I date are like open books and others seem too secretive for my tastes. Relationships need trust and trust stems from honesty-just sayin)

I told you the list was simple. It really can be scary to date and especially in a city like Las Vegas. It just seems like people are rarely what they present themselves to be. However, don’t be jaded! I mean I’m here and so are you. This means there’s some pretty awesome people here too! Until next time…remember…..

Ciao!!!

Things I CAN’T STAND about dating

I feel Charlie Brown crying is apt! Sometimes I feel like crying. There are just some things I CAN’T stand about dating. I know dating is a necessary evil. I mean how else am I going to meet someone? I just hate the way this town works (maybe other towns too-I don’t know.) Las Vegas-and this is MY home town so I can hate a little bit-is just so shallow. I feel like men are always on the lookout for something better and women are always on the lookout for more money. I know I am not alone but sometimes-like tonight-I feel like the last girl scout in a town full of nasties.

This is all stemming from a guy I refused to date cursing me out tonight. He actually told me just because I’m cute I didn’t need to be a B*&*c. I wonder what his thought process was? Maybe now that he spoke so gently to me, I am going to fall into his arms? I was really nice about it. I don’t get it. This motivated me to create a list of things I hate about dating.

1. I hate weeding through all the wannabe players. So many VIP’S in this town I could hurl.
2. I am tired of men coming on super strong and then just disappearing
3. I will punch the next guy that asks me to send him a promiscuous picture. (this comes from online dudes.)
4. I am exhausted from putting myself “out there.” (Ladies and Gentlemen, you know what I mean. I feel so exposed lately. I am confident but this is wearing me down.)
5. First dates suck! I can’t seem to make it past a couple dates with ANYONE. I just don’t feel I need to compromise at this point in the game.
6. I can’t stand the thought of another nervous dinner, sitting across from someone I’ve never met and trying to determine if I should slip out the bathroom window.

Okay, my rant is done. I feel better! However, I am being sincere about dating. I wrote my list and now I step back from it and think….who cares? When I search my feelings, I don’t think I do. What happens shall happen. Let’s sit back and enjoy the crazy ride. Keep the faith my peeps!!!!!

PS: Anyone offended by this post, please disregard. I mean it is just a blog by a simple woman.