Single in Sin City

A good girls survival guide to dating in Las Vegas

Ahhh..Memories

About 2 years ago I went on a date with a  U.S. Marshal. He was kind of intense but we had a great first meeting. For our second date, we went to a local bar for drinks. We had a nice date. We chatted and there seemed to be chemistry. The date ended on a solid note.

He text me that night. Then he text me the following day and we had this conversation:

“I am really attracted to you and you seem like a good woman. Do you know what I’ve always really wanted?” I replied with,” What?”  He proceeded to tell me this, “I’ve always secretly wanted to be with a woman who will cheat on me with multiple men. Maybe even let me watch.”  WTF??? “Well that’s not really what I’m into and we are not looking for the same thing.” (NOW I just think this dude is another LV Douche Bag. Scratch this homeboy off the list..ya know!) Lastly, he replied with, “Oh me either, I was just playing.”

badfirstdate

Moral: Can you say delete and block?? I can!  I guess my moral is simple today. Dating is HARD! Hang in there and remember you are not alone in the struggle.  Oh and if you have these types of desires…wait until you really know the person. Derr…

Until Next Time…Ciao

 

 

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April 21, 2014 Posted by | Dating Advice, First Dates | , , , , , , , , , , | Leave a comment

Date Gone Bad!!!

Sara,

What do you do when your date totally embarrasses you?  I recently went out with this woman who I met online.  Our first “coffee date” was pretty cool and I thought she was really nice. On our second date we went to dinner at a very nice restaurant. She ordered a salad.  When the  waitress brought it out my date came completely unglued!  She totally freaked out saying this salad doesn’t look the same as the salad she had last time she was there. What was the matter with it!  She gave the waitress a really hard time and demanded to see the manager.  The waitress and the manager were doing everything possible to make her happy, they brought her another salad they gave her a bunch of extra stuff, they apologized profusely but nothing would make her happy she complained during the entire dinner.  In the meantime I was so embarrassed I didn’t know what to do. Her salad looked fine to me, but she was throwing a fit. We finished eating and she took everything she could off the table and put it in her purse.  I was so embarrassed I left the server a 50% tip and we left.

I thought maybe this was just a one-time thing and so we went out again the next week.   We went to another really nice restaurant and she threw another fit!  She had to call in the manager and complain about one of the servers it was so embarrassing I wanted to crawl under the table.  Needless to say I am not calling this woman back and truthfully, I hope I never see her again. 

 What should a guy do when his date is embarrassing him like crazy?

 

Wowsers! I am sorry to say I laughed pretty hard at the imagery of someone stealing everything off the table. I think the question posed to me is, “What do you do in this type of situation?”

Advice: Well honestly Anonymous, I would not go on another date with that person! Also, if a date ever steals things off the table, then you should probably not ask her out again. (just sayin..) Although, I think that is “hindsight is 20/20″ type of advice. My real advice is if you are ever in that type of awkward, bad vibe, geesh this date is cray cray type of scenario again….end it. I literally would say something like this,”I can tell you are having a rough night and this is not my idea of appropriate behaviour. Thank you for meeting me but this is not what I am looking for.” (I promise you I have actually said something along those lines before during a bad date.) You see most people don’t handle things that way so they are shocked by it. If you say it firmly, politely, and in a manner that leaves no room for argument..I guarantee you will catch them off guard enough to make an exit. I left a bad date with his jaw wide open in a similar manner in the middle of dinner. He called me to apologize but really…..you just can’t put the toothpaste back in the tube. (I’m full of useless clichés tonight!) You can choose to not tolerate that type of behavior and tell the bad date that and RUN or…………You can always go the bathroom and not come back. I prefer directness BUT the choice is up to you!

Until Next Time….Ciao!

March 28, 2014 Posted by | First Dates, Uncategorized | , , , , , , , , , , , , , , | 4 Comments

Try Something Different

Albert Einstein

I watch my friends repeat themselves all the time. Um yes…I make mistakes all the time. However, it’s easier to see a problem from the outside. It just is. (Now that we’ve cleared that up, I will continue.) I observe my friends falling for the same type of person over and over and over and…the relationships fail. I am going to use case studies.

I have a male friend that only dates party girls. Yes, over time the women have gotten a little less stripper and perhaps a little more barfly. Maybe that’s not even being fair..but definitely not a “good girl.” (I am not dogging out my wild sisters…I love you guys and I am often amazed at the ability to be so carefree.) However, my friend wants a family. He feels his male clock is ticking at 36. (SIDE NOTE: Neither men nor women should feel rushed to settle. There are plenty of people who start families later in life.) Back to the point! The women he gravitates toward are pretty in a harder way and usually like to party and usually date a LOT of different men. Do you see where I am going with this? These women DO NOT want a family or a husband. Well…not usually. So what happens? He ends up getting hurt and then he is just so shocked by it, he falls into a slump. All I can think of is that old fable about the woman who saved a snake…then the snake bites her. The snake replies with, “You knew I was a snake when you saved me.”

I know a woman in a similar boat. She always dates douche bags. The type of men that purposely treat her poorly then disappear for a while. (I know you know the type of man I am talking about.) Then they end up breaking up with her or cheating and she comes running to me in tears. Why is she always dating jerks? The last one I spotted within thirty minutes of meeting him by the way he was checking out every girl he saw…while she was with him. Poor thing doesn’t want to listen and I only offer solicited advice. I try to not mettle in others affairs. Do you see how this pattern of repetitively choosing the same type of guy is NOT working? I wish she did.

Moral for today: Can I be blunt? Of course I can! This is my blog! The truth is…you can’t ALWAYS do the same thing over and over and expect different results. If you are getting the SAME type of problems OVER and OVER again…try looking for common denominators. Is it you? Is it the type of person you are dating? Is it both? I don’t know…but as I’ve said before..If you want a different result, you have to DO different things. It’s really logical if you think about it. Look for patterns and change them. If this is something you can relate to, try it! Do it for science. Albert Einstein coined it well when he said:

definition of madness

 

Until Next Time….Ciao!

January 27, 2014 Posted by | Dating Advice, Mistakes, Personal Growth, Uncategorized | , , , , , , , , , , , , , , | Leave a comment

You Probably Shouldn’t Be Dating If….

You probably shouldn’t be dating if you are off the hook crazy! Derr.. Seriously, I believe an important part of dating is being in the correct mindset. If you are searching for romance for the wrong reasons, then you are cooking with a recipe for disaster. I LOVE lists! So here’s a list of reasons why someone SHOULD NOT be dating.

  • You should not be dating if you are on the rebound. (Booooooooy Howdy I get it. I’ve had to voluntarily walk away from someone I loved before because he was no longer good for me. I’ve felt heart ache. The kind of pain that you would do ANYTHING to dull. However, if you are dating on the rebound, you are most likely going to get hurt or hurt the other person. Take the time to heal first. It’s better for you..I promise.)
  • You should not be dating if you are looking to be complete. (I do not believe in this style of dating. If you are not satisfied with yourself, how in the world can you satisfy someone else? I do understand but trust me….there is no white night or secret princess that is going to magically solve your problems. I waited on Superman a long time…trust me on this.)
  • You should not be dating if you NEED love. (Okay before everyone jumps on me…let me explain. I know a girl who was dating someone for two weeks and declared love to someone. She has given him keys, garage door codes…everything. This is a horrible idea. How can anyone possible really love someone in that amount of time? The truth is she is probably going to be devastatingly hurt when all is said and done. She needs to be loved so bad that she latched on to the first decent man she met. Love yourself first. Love yourself and then take the time to know if someone is worthy of your love. We all want to be loved…just be sure you love yourself first.)
  • You should not be dating if your personal life is a mess. (If you are all over the place emotionally, there is no need to be dating. How is that fair to the other person? Get it together first..no it doesn’t need to be perfect but if you are still living with your ex or have kids struggling with major issues that need your full-time attention..ummm maybe work that out first?  We all have problems but the basics need to be together before you endeavor to date.)

AND DRUM ROLL PLEASE

  • You should not be dating if you need to see a Psychiatrist. (I am a big advocate of counseling. Most people could use it. HOWEVER I am going to share the story below. It is a true story. I mean ya can’t make stuff like this up yo!)

A man and woman had a chance encounter in a parking lot at the mall. They hit it off. They went on several dates. On the fourth date their relationship became physical..(Psst: As in they were getting ready to have sex dude.) They began to take off their clothes. Things were getting err steamy. The woman suddenly bursts out in to tears and begins to sob. She confessed that she had been abused by her father. She cried and cried about how her ex husband didn’t really love her. I mean she was hysterical! “Why doesn’t anyone want me?” she exclaimed at the top of her lungs. All my male friend could think about is how quickly he could get out of there as he tried  to console her.  He did not see her again. Bless her heart. She needs to seek therapy post-haste. I am not belittling her issues or her pain but…she shouldn’t be dating.

Advice: Dating is hard enough. The act of opening yourself up and allowing someone to learn more about you is a major feat. Be sure that when you do, you are in the correct mindset.

Until Next Time…Ciao!

December 30, 2013 Posted by | Dating Advice, Uncategorized | , , , , , , , , , , , | Leave a comment

7 Bad Date Exit Strategies

My only addition would be the following:

  • Men looking to get out of a bad date: Ask the woman if she would like to go back to your place and meet your parents. Mention how your mother still cooks for you and washes your laundry.  If this does not work, ask if she can cover the bill because you forgot your wallet. This will send women running…I promise.

 

  • Women looking to get out of a bad date: Start planning the wedding. Then proceed to talk about all the babies you want to have. You can even have fun with this and start naming them at the table. This has a 99.99% success rate and I have used it personally with success.

Another Single Woman's Blog

We’ve ALL been there. The Bad Date.

Sitting at a table across from your date and wondering how in the hell you’re going to get out of the situation. I’ve compiled a short list of ways to do this. Some require minimal pre-planning and some can be done on the fly. These are options that can be used when you don’t feel like saying to the person’s face:

” You’re a creepy bastard and you look NOTHING like your pictures. There’s no fucking way I want to stay another minute let alone EVER want to have sex with you.”

Most of us wouldn’t have the guts to say that in person so here’s what else you can do:

  1.  Go to the bathroom but don’t come back. This only works if you are seated where your date can’t see the bathroom AND the exit.
  2.  Tell your date you’re going to the…

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July 29, 2013 Posted by | First Dates, Uncategorized | , , , , | Leave a comment

No Means No!

So I went through something kind of traumatic last weekend.  (I need a break.) I just need to clear my head.  Tonight I feel mostly better.

I usually don’t post about my dating life in journal fashion. The purpose of my blog is to offer dating guidance and cover different struggles I encounter. There are a lot of great blogs out there that share specifics and I love to read them but it’s not my intention to share all of my dating life with you. My purpose is to share wisdom I’ve learned. However, I do share when I think it’s something of value. (My NYE was a good example.)

I met a man and went out on a few dates with him. He was very very nice. He called me all the time, and sent me wonderful text messages. It was actually very refreshing. I like it when a man shows me he is interested.  He made it a point to let me know several times how desirable and great I was. However, on the third date things changed. He was very pushy and aggressive and when I tried to slow him down (I mean I’ve only known this homeboy for two weeks) he became angry.

Once I got the situation calmed and was able to leave he sent me a text stating that the reason most men stop talking to me around the third date is because I don’t put out. NOW I’M UPSET! I mean What the What??? It was one thing to have to tell this creep to keep his filthy paws off my silky draws now he’s telling me why I’m doomed to be single. I couldn’t leave this alone….I asked, “Do you mean if a woman doesn’t put out on the third date. men think there is no future?” He said, “Yes, that is the way a man thinks.” I finally told him this conversation was depressing me and to have a good night. AND….

I cried. I cried hard (first I was actually scared for my physical safety and then I was told I’m a prude who’s doomed to be alone.) and then…Well…I called BullShit. Not so..I mean it can’t be the truth. Right?? How can I EVER move beyond a third date if that’s how it goes. TWO weeks??? That’s just not my style. I mean unless it was love at first sight or something. Then I calmed down..like the next day. Once that happened I realized how very STUPID that man was. Men looking for a relationship will take their time. (um no I’m not saying 1 year) but enough time for a quality woman to be comfortable. I then decided to let it go.

Then the next day this Mutha F%^&*() texts me, “Don’t be depressed, just realize that’s how a man thinks.” OH NO HE DIDN’T..THIS FOOL DON’T KNOW ME!!! My response was this, “I’m not depressed. I’ve decided that any guy that expects me to have sex with him on the third date after only two weeks is not the type of man I want. I’ve also spoken with other men that don’t agree with you. They don’t want to be with a woman who gives it away so easily. So I guess it depends on the guy. I’m looking for someone who actually cares about me first and there’s nothing wrong with that. I can tell you that I was expecting something different from you. If you only date women that put out in two weeks, it’s probably the reason why you are still single after three years. Most – not all- but most women who do that are not looking for a relationship. You have two daughters, would you want them with men that thought like that? It might be something you should think about.” BOOM!

Yet he texts me again! (Really???)  “Maybe but I didn’t think that you felt that spark for me and that’s okay. I wish you the best and good luck.” I say it again: Really??? I know I should have stopped but I couldn’t help myself. I replied, “Well I don’t anymore but I was interested. LOL Good Luck to you too.” Observations and a  Moral…Oh yeah I got several!

1. This man was ONLY nice to me for a specific reason-not cuz he liked me for me. Good one buddy.

2. There is NO time frame on sex. I don’t care what you say. It could be three dates it could be 20. It’s when it feels right. (oh and maybe once you take the time to even learn something about me) jerk.

3. Ladies..BE SAFE! I never saw this attitude coming and this might have had a very tragic ending. You don’t always know who you are dating.

IRONY: Oh yeah…This cat actually had a chance. I was attracted to him and it’s been so long since someone made me feel like I was the only girl in the world. Dumb Ass... Also, he was a Police Officer (No I am not worried. This guy did not give a fig about me and is definitely on to his next victim.) Finally, and before you jump to conclusions, I did NOT meet him online.

Wrapping up my little adventure…Please be safe in the dating world. Do not confuse attention with an interest in a relationship. The person might have selfish intentions. HOWEVER…don’t become so jaded you assume all attention is negative. (I need to remember that.) Also, do things according to your own timeline…never someone else’s.

Phew that was a close one! Until next time….Ciao!

March 17, 2013 Posted by | Dating Advice, Mistakes, Safety, Uncategorized | , , , , , , , | 11 Comments

I Don’t Owe You NUTHIN!

I wasn’t going to blog about this but its been festering and boiling and out it comes….My New Year’s Eve was spent on a first date. Yeah I know what you’re thinking…Bold move…right? Well yes, I know it was but he was a seemingly nice guy. We had been talking on the phone for a while if it’s any consolation.

Okay, Okay,  I guess we were only talking on the phone for about a week but who’s counting right? He’s a somewhat successful and somewhat prominent man in town but I’m a lot like Shania Twain..”That don’t impress me much.” However, it’s certainly not a bad thing. Well, I am talking to him about the evening and he states would I be open to staying out all night. I tell him, “You mean like really late?”  He didn’t exactly answer me. (It just never dawns on me that he might mean something else. I promise it didn’t.) Then he told me he planned on getting a room because drinking was involved. (Once again, this makes sense to me because a DUI on his record will ruin his career.) AND…Just like that the date is scheduled.

We arrive at the designated meeting place and decide on eating Sushi. I love me some Sushi so  this isn’t a bad start. We get to the restaurant and he makes the waiter move us three times. In fact, the Manager actually came by to visit us and ensure we are okay. Naturally, we start drinking. At this point, I really kinda need a drink. After a couple of drinks, my dates ego starts to grow. In fact he implies certain things that are starting to make me wonder if this is the “real” person and the liquor is making him put his guard down. I love me an ego on a man too-almost as much as Sushi but I do not like people who feel entitled. Cuz really you’re not….

ImageMr. Date proceeds to let me know that he is a king and he only has the best. He implies that this is why he is spending the holiday with me. (what’s that I smell???? Oh you’re following me, I know you are…) He also lets me know he does nothing without a purpose and asks me, “Why are you here with me?” I reply with, “Um to get to know you.” He lets me know that is a bad answer….Uh Okay dude….we ring in the new year and this guy is pretty touchy feely. That’s okay too. I mean we are in a public place (so he can’t get out of hand) and it is New Year’s! 10, 9 ,8 ,7, 6, 5, 4, 3, 2, 1…HAPPY NEW YEAR!!!

As 2013 arrives, Mr. Date starts getting pushier and starts trying to convince me to go to his room. Well that……….AINT GONNA HAPPEN. I am not that type of girl. He keeps pushing and anyone who knows me knows I am one STUBBORN chica. I said no and I meant it! So there…Well he became offended. Not only offended but he never called me again. How rude – yet an almost predictable response.

WHAT EV ER

Since that night, I have been told that I should have expected it because it was New Year’s Eve. I guess I have to chalk it up to inexperience. To me a first date is a first date regardless of what day it falls on. AND I am NOT going to someone’s house/room on a first date. Derr…..

Moral: Always be prepared to stand up for your own unique set of values on a date. Always be prepared for the possibility of offending someone on a date. Always be prepared…

Until next time…Ciao!!!

January 5, 2013 Posted by | First Dates, Mistakes, Relationships | , , , , , , , | 5 Comments

Things I CAN’T STAND about dating

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I feel Charlie Brown crying is apt! Sometimes I feel like crying. There are just some things I CAN’T stand about dating. I know dating is a necessary evil. I mean how else am I going to meet someone? I just hate the way this town works (maybe other towns too-I don’t know.) Las Vegas-and this is MY home town so I can hate a little bit-is just so shallow. I feel like men are always on the lookout for something better and women are always on the lookout for more money. I know I am not alone but sometimes-like tonight-I feel like the last girl scout in a town full of nasties.

This is all stemming from a guy I refused to date cursing me out tonight. He actually told me just because I’m cute I didn’t need to be a B*&*c. I wonder what his thought process was? Maybe now that he spoke so gently to me, I am going to fall into his arms? I was really nice about it. I don’t get it. This motivated me to create a list of things I hate about dating.

  1. I hate weeding through all the wannabe players. So many VIP’S in this town I could hurl.
  2. I am tired of men coming on super strong and then just disappearing
  3. I will punch the next guy that asks me to send him a promiscuous picture. (this comes from online dudes.)
  4. I am exhausted from putting myself “out there.” (Ladies and Gentlemen, you know what I mean. I feel so exposed lately. I am confident but this is wearing me down.)
  5. First dates suck! I can’t seem to make it past a couple dates with ANYONE. I just don’t feel I need to compromise at this point in the game.
  6. I can’t stand the thought of another nervous dinner, sitting across from someone I’ve never met and trying to determine if I should slip out the bathroom window.

Okay, my rant is done. I feel better! However, I am being sincere about dating. I wrote my list and now I step back from it and think….who cares? When I search my feelings, I don’t think I do. What happens shall happen. Let’s sit back and enjoy the crazy ride. Keep the faith my peeps!!!!!

PS: Anyone offended by this post, please disregard. I mean it is just a blog by a simple woman.

December 14, 2012 Posted by | First Dates, Men Advice, Online Dating, Uncategorized, Women Advice | , , , , , | 7 Comments

I just met you…and this is crazy…

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But here’s my ring…marry my baby! Okay I am not a song writer but I just have to talk about the time I went on a date and the man was planning our future-starting with…..the wedding! Actually this has happened to me on two occasions with different men but for the purposes of this post, I will stick with one experience.

I met a guy online that seemed great! We did everything right. We started by chatting online, moved on to talking on the phone almost every night and he even went to church!!! (That’s a big plus for me.) So we decide to meet. He takes me to a nice restaurant and stares at me strangely the whole time. This guy was HUGE and by huge I mean built like a UFC fighter! Needless to say his intense stare made me nervous. However, I decide even majorly buff guys can get flustered so I continue on the date. (Anyone else ever had a date so bad they slipped out by using the old I need to use the restroom move?? Come on..I know you have but we’ll talk later.) After dinner, we decided to go grab drinks.

He took me to a small bar-which I don’t mind-and it became clear he knew everyone there. Actually, knowing everyone there is an understatement. It was his best friend since grade schools bar and all of his childhood friends were there. I am now feeling like he is introducing me to his best friends on the first date. Awkward-right? Why yes it is! The first thing that happens is one of his friends saunters up to me and spends 30 minutes trying to convince me this guy was a great catch. Okay, okay I think it’s kinda cute that his friends are selling him. Slowly the date moves from awkward to bad.

My date turns to me and tells me he would like us to marry in the fall. I laugh out loud like this is a joke. Then he tells me that the first thing he will do is buy me a new car. (I’m growing offended.) My date proceeds to inform me that once we are married I will quit my job to run a business with him because he can tell I am good at business. (Now my “saratude” is starting to kick in.) Who does this joker think he is? I have taken care of myself for quite a while and am not about to have some clown start planning my future. On the first date? What the what??? If he thinks I am just looking for a paycheck or a sugar daddy-he’s got the wrong gal. I’m looking for a partner not a dictator.

I turn to him and say, “I think you need to relax buddy.” He blushed and told me okay. As the night continued I discovered that he is only interested in meeting a girl he can marry. Duh-right? I finished as quickly as possible and left without making a scene. I can’t help but see irony in this.

Isn’t it ironic that men I date (especially online) usually go one of two ways? I have found that some men want an instant relationship-as in just add water and LOVE ME LOVE ME LOVE ME. Other men don’t seem to even want to try to have a relationship that is real. Can I get something in the middle please? Is it just me or does anyone else ever feel like the last normal person standing?

December 6, 2012 Posted by | First Dates, Mistakes, Online Dating, Women Advice | , , , , | 3 Comments