Single in Sin City

A good girls survival guide to dating in Las Vegas

7 Traits of The “Vegas Guy”

douchebag epidemic

Las Vegas IS a trip! Men in this city are too! I’ve written about the “Vegas Woman.” Now it’s time to write about ‘dem crazy men in this city! I love lists! I really do! Here are seven very common signs that “Vegas Men” have.

1. They have a google voice phone number. (There is no way they are giving you their actual  phone number..geesh)

2. They will be regulars on most dating sites. (They have to keep a healthy inventory as they keep searching for the hottest/best/most successful female.)

douchebag-on-steroids-1

3. The will consistently name drop. (They know people who know people yo.)

4. Are 45 and have never been in a committed relationship. (Why choose one when you can have many?)

5. Know every night club by heart. (They ARE living IN Vegas baby!)

6. They may get hair highlights (Once again not all men with highlights are bad or players but…)

7. Can you say designer labels and lots of knowledge about them? (I love nice things. I am not saying this alone makes a “Vegas Guy” but it is a common trait.)

*****Qualifier: I am not suggesting that a couple of these traits makes a typical “Vegas Guy.” I am only listing common traits I see among them. Also, I never said I had all the answers….this is my blog and my humble opinion.*****

Moral: The key here is status and shallowness.  A “Vegas Guy” is mainly into appearance and the Vegas lifestyle. I do not recommend dating these men if you are looking for something solid and meaningful. It is hard to find anything meaningful when this type of man is usually on the lookout for something better. Who wants to feel like they are constantly being evaluated? I know I don’t.

Until Next Time…Ciao!

 

February 24, 2014 Posted by | Las Vegas Tips, Uncategorized, Women Advice | , , , , , , , , , , , | Leave a comment

Ladies..Don’t Do This!

I was speaking with a man the other day about dating. He said, “Men are expected to do all the courting and almost all the work. Men have to make the first moves while women get to choose from multiple men who deserves their attention.” I responded with, “Well women have to worry about being too interested, not interested enough. We worry about men thinking we are easy but at the same time we want them to know we are not a prude. It’s hard for some women to operate that way.” The conversation originated from the fact I do not believe in any of those things….but I’ve written about that before..click here if you are curious.  However, this conversation made me start thinking about a lot of the attractive, single women I know.  (I am not hating on what I am about to discuss.  I actually used to do this too. )

datinggame

I think this man had a point. I do think the stereotypical dating game is the man chases a woman while she determines who is worthy of her affection. I also think this leads to the man pursuing multiple women in order to “increase his odds.” The results are a vicious circle. The woman complains that she can’t find a good man when she is actually wasting time on men that are caught up in the game.  The man wants to find someone but knows he is one of many so he needs to keep lots of bait in the water. Some men don’t care. Some men started off innocent but lost their good intentions along the way. Kind of like a politician.***This really can be unintentional. It’s a vicious circle..remember? The vicious circle I’m referring to implies that no one knows where the fault began but ALL involved are creating it so round and round we go. Are you dizzy yet?***  I have a secret!

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The only way to STOP a vicious circle (I really can’t spell that word right-every single time I write it, I get the ugly red squiggly underline. Thank goodness for spell-check yo) As I was saying, the only way to stop the err..circle is to stop participating in it regardless of the outcome. STOP. It’s so stupid easy. You have to let go of the fact that someone else may be doing it. If he/she is, stop talking to them and move on…I promise you that the only way to change any pattern is to try a new one. So that’s my secret..but I still want to give some ladies my humble advice.

Don’t be one of those women that thinks because she is pretty its okay to make a man do all the work. I used to be one of those women. So please don’t be offended if this is you. Let me give you some examples:

  • Putting up your online dating profile and expecting men to ALWAYS initiate contact and keep the conversation going – If you do this and you’re happy ROCK ON! If you do this and notice you only attract one type of guy and it’s not the kind you want, try something different.
  • Always expecting the man to call you – I get that you want to know they’re interested. They SHOULD call first sometimes. Honey they should make you feel like there was never a woman before you BUT…men need to know you care too.  Men need that too.
  • Always expect the man to ask you out – I am not saying a man should not take the lead. I am a big old-fashioned girl mixed with a strong independent woman. I get it but..how would you feel if the only time you got to see your significant other is when you asked. I would not feel good about it. Take turns..that’s all I got to say about that.
  • Making a man make ALL the first moves. Who says you can’t kiss first? Who says you have to? The key here is there are no rules.

I know there are many more examples I could give but I just wanted everyone to catch my drift.  My moral for the day? Ladies: If you are always getting the same results..try something different. Think about how you would feel if the roles were reversed. Follow that sage advice that we were most likely taught as children: Do unto others as you would have done to yourself..or something like that. I have no breeding but you know what I mean!  Stop with the attitude that I am pretty and a man should do all the work. You ARE beautiful and deserve the best. Set your boundaries, and be picky as hell on who you decide to invest in but treat the worthy man as you want to be treated.  This advice is only for women who can relate. Break the vicious circle by behaving differently. Do it for science.

Until Next Time..Ciao!

August 12, 2013 Posted by | Personal Growth, Uncategorized, Women Advice | , , , , , , , , , | Leave a comment

Why am I Such a Pain in the Butt?

Why am I such a pain in the butt? I like to think I’m pretty easy-going by nature. I like to be happy. I am rather confident and outgoing . I generally see the glass as half full. BUT…Man does  my own head get in the way sometimes. What’s up with that yo?

I know how to put the past behind me. If I couldn’t do that I wouldn’t be able to be who I am today. I survive and I continue. HOWEVER, maybe that’s not 100% the truth.I believe I push people not to play games but to test their love.  I also almost always refuse to depend on anyone but myself. To the point where I can drive people away. Why? I think (big if here peeps) that it’s because integral people  in my life have let me down. This does not mean that I do not have good people in my life..I do. I try to cut out negative people in my life. This does not mean I am unhappy. I am happy with my life-I am very happy. This does not mean I can’t love. I love with a passion that can only come from someone as intense as me. This means that from the age of 8 I’ve realized I am the only person that will take care of me. That’s cool because it made me who I am today BUT I think it’s why I’m such a complete Pain in the Ass err Butt to someone who tries to love me.

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I have a very dear friend to me who also has the same problem. She raised herself like I did. We have a lot in common including the pushing. I don’t lash out and say mean things. She does. (That’s something she is doing well at conquering.) I wall up and become distant. I get cold….like frigid. I think this drives people away quickly because I am normally so warm to those I care about. However, the second I think I might get hurt, the armor comes up. (I’m about honesty so…here goes a confession) I think it’s to see if someone is really going to stick around. It’s like I want to see if they will run the second I’m not all smiles and blue eyes. It’s not a game to me..it’s really not. It’s my gosh darn burden. It quite possibly helped me survive my childhood. I don’t know how else I could have kept my hopeful outlook on life without being able to wall off and protect myself. However, I can’t stand this behavior as an adult. I think it  is very stupid. I don’t want to be stupid..err I don’t want to be as stupid as I used to be. I’m ending this cycle slowly and painfully. It is my journey to self-improvement. Life is too damn short to spend on stupid stuff. So why do I share?

My blog is my journey as a single woman. The last three years…actually almost four now…have been about discovering who I am as a person. If you haven’t spent your whole life with someone, you can’t begin to imagine how scary it was for me to make this journey. I never knew who I was really because I was always controlled by another. In the process, I like to believe I have helped people. I get about 15 emails a month asking for dating advice. I try to help them. However, this silly and simple blog has helped me more than years of therapy ever could. I share it publicly in the hopes of paying it forward. Also, because I don’t really have anything to hide. I am me. I am not perfect, but Boy Howdy I am trying to be better.

My advice for today: STOP and think about why you are behaving a certain way. If you are behaving irrationally (in any manner) try to discover why. I AM NOT going to tolerate this behavior from myself any longer. I am not guaranteeing it won’t happen again but I am not going to be the type of person who is always pushing when all I really want is for that person to hold me. That doesn’t even make sense when you think about it…geesh Sara. Next time I feel the need to push…I’m going to stop. I’m going to pray. One day, I may even stop being a pain in the butt…err maybe I’ll be less of a pain in the butt. We decide who we want to be my friends…

Until next time…Ciao!

July 20, 2013 Posted by | Personal Growth, Uncategorized, Women Advice | , , , , , , , , | Leave a comment

Homegirl Went CRAZY

Sometimes, women go crazy.  I’ve written about this before. If you are a woman, you’ve been there or at the minimum you’ve had a girlfriend do it…but seriously, you’ve probably done it (yeah you have.) You know how it goes… We.Just.Went.Off. Now I am pretty sure I’ve outgrown most crazy behavior BUT that doesn’t mean I didn’t get drunk 6/7 months ago, get bored and drunk dialed my ex repeatedly prank calling him. It was kinda fun immature. (Yeah when you drink too much they should take away your keys AND your phone …just sayin.) I can’t speak for all women but I am passionate and with that comes intense feelings.

gone crazy

The last three years has been all about personal growth. I am trying VERY hard to not be so stupid.. BUT like I said I am a passionate person by nature. I feel deeply, I laugh loudly and I cry hard. Have I ever gone crazy? Well yeah..kinda…derr. By most standards I’m pretty tame. My friends don’t call me Goodie Sara for nothing but in the past I have…

  • Gotten scared over nothing and broken up with a man..multiple times (yeah I know…dumb)
  • Internet stalked..err snooped..yeah snooped (and he got all upset like I evaded his privacy or something..geesh calm down)
  • Yeah I followed my ex husband once (in my defense that was while I was investigating the THIRD relationship he had) but I felt like a mega sleaze doing it
  • Spent countless hours wondering why a guy did or did not do something (like obsessively) and then bugging the heck out of my friends for their opinions. ( oh and when I didn’t get the answer I wanted, I would argue…guess that was annoying…oops)
  • Yeah I’ve thrown a few things back in the day (BUT he had it coming I swear)

I’ve seen some even crazier things!

Crazy lady

  • Had a girlfriend wait outside of her man’s house because she thought he was cheating (um he wasn’t but jealousy will kill a relationship quicker than almost anything.)
  • Knew a girl who had her friend hit on her man to test his loyalty (That’s just borrowing trouble yo.)
  • I’ve heard of women going through their man’s phone, wallet, and just basically invading his  privacy. (If a woman feels the need to do that, she needs to stop dating him. relationships need trust..mmmkay?)
  • My mom knocked a guy unconscious once with a bat for putting his hands on her. (My mom’s got issues but she’s a  G..you don’t mess with a woman like that.)
  • I knew a woman who once conducted an exorcism on her husband because he told her he didn’t want to be with her anymore. (Like full-blown exorcism including speaking in tongues.)
  • The most CRAZY thing I’ve EVER seen a woman do is pull a razor blade from her mouth during an argument with her boyfriend and threaten to cut him. (I grew up in a bad neighborhood. She was not my friend but the guy was. I couldn’t even move when I saw it. There were about 5 witnesses and all of us just stood there with our jaws open. To this day I don’t know how or why she kept a razor blade under her tongue…GHETTO and CRAZY right?)

I only decided to write about this because I’ve made a couple of observations recently.

  1. Have you ever noticed that at least 90% of the men you talk to claim their exes are crazy?
  2. When I feel insecure I feel significantly more irrational than normal.

I can’t help but wonder if that many women are crazy? How can that be possible? Also, why do I stop being the intelligent woman I normally am when I start feeling insecure with my love interest? I can know I am being stupid and still occasionally behave stupidly. Uggh. Let’s consider the first point.

Do you think that many women are crazy? I don’t. I do think it’s possible that many women can BEHAVE crazily. ****Let me qualify this with, I am not referring to really insane women like homegirl who pulled a razor blade. I am not qualified to say I understand that kind of crazy. I am referring to the over the top, emotional and yes irrational outbursts women can have.**** How does the average women go cray cray?

Easily my friends..very easily. Why? I think it’s because of insecurity. Remember women have 3 basic needs: 1. emotional security, 2. physical security, and 3. financial security. I’m not just basing this off of me.  No I don’t think every woman is insecure. I think we can feel insecure during a relationship. Maybe the man is not providing what she needs as far as security; or maybe it’s in her head..I don’t know…yet…but I’m working on it.

So here’s my early theory by way of using myself as an example: I am pretty confident. I am physically fit and emotionally stable..(I can be stupid but I’m stable.) However, I used to be challenged with the invariables I can’t control in a relationship. Why has he not called? Why is he distant? Why, why, why..blah blah blah..stupid, stupid, stupid (this is the behavior I am referring to as stupid. Please don’t be offended, we have all done it as women)….BUT once I realized my text was not going to be responded to in the next um…5 minutes, I would grow unsettled, uncertain and then mad. In fact it’s probably worse for an independent and confident woman to then start feeling insecure.  I didn’t know what the feelings meant. So maybe I festered. Then the next time I spoke with him, I threw it in his face with a sharp tongue. Maybe I even waited like um…3 weeks to do it. (I’m being real so women can know they are not alone…so don’t judge me.) This leaves the poor man thinking, “What’s this crazy chic talking about?”  Maybe it was worse than that but maybe I don’t want to share all that..mmkay? Ya get the point I’m sure. I felt bad over an unintentional slight, didn’t properly communicate it and let the small and tiny issue explode. oops again!

What’s my moral? I promise I have one.

Ladies: Don’t go too crazy or you will lose the man. I know it is hard. I can only tell you what I do (what I have done in the past while in a long term relationship.) When you start to feel crazy/jealous/angry take a deep breath and consider the reasons why. Quite often, I will pray for clarity or for GOD to remove insecurity out of my heart-this really works for me. After I take a breath and really think, the feelings go away.

Men: Women need security. This means even if you think she is being ridiculous or emotional (she may not be for the record) that you need to stop and assure her or realize the why behind the actions. I get that it’s probably very draining to do that but if you care for her, she needs gentle reassurance. (Now if she’s truly crazy, RUN; but if she’s feeling slightly insecure and only behaving crazily, reassure her.) Even super independent, strong women crave security in a relationship. In many ways I need that reassurance more because letting go and being truly vulnerable and open to love is hard for me.

Until Next Time…Ciao!

May 20, 2013 Posted by | Men Advice, Uncategorized, Women Advice | 6 Comments

Don’t Borrow Trouble – 5 things Women Do that Blow a Relationship!

My Grandmother was an amazing woman with great phrases. One of her most common was “Don’t borrow trouble.” I never understood that until I became a grown up. It is probably the best advice ever. Why should we worry about things that have yet to happen? I constantly see women doing this. (Maybe men do too but I’m not a member of that particular club.) I think a lot – not all – but a lot of women over-analyze things and make small issues or dare I even say non-issues a big deal. Why? Because we’re borrowing trouble-derr. I like to be useful..it’s kinda in my nature.  So on that note, I’ve created a list of what we should NOT do to borrow trouble while in a relationship.

  1. Fish around your new boyfriends Facebook page. I’ve done it, you’ve done it, heck we’ve all done it! I DO NOT do it NO MORE. I will tell you why. Suppose you see someone comments on his pictures all the time (by someone I mean another female)…who is this woman? is she cuter than me? Then you go to her page and on and on and on. The truth is she may just be his best friends sister or his Dental Hygienist  I mean you don’t know and now you’ve created doubt in your mind. What for? You my friend just borrowed trouble.
  2. If you met him online DO NOT look up his online profile once you start dating exclusively. I used to do this. It is dangerous. First of all, you look it up and then you see he logged on yesterday. WTF? Now you’re mad but…maybe he went on to see if YOU logged on. Now he checked again and sees that you have logged on and the vicious circle begins. No one wants to admit they did it so it’s like this big online dating elephant in the room. 2008-11-03-Elephant-In-The-RoomThe last guy I dated online for more than three dates did this and I FLEW off the handle. By this I mean I dumped him. I don’t care because he was not the one for me but it was awfully stupid and dramatic. I feel stupid just admitting it but change is all about facing your flaws! So I can honestly say I have been dating the same man for a little while now and I have not once looked him up. I have been tempted but here’s the thing: If he is going to stop seeing me for someone else it wasn’t meant to be. If he is dating multiple women, I will know it. It is very easy to tell when you do not have a man’s full attention. If I lose his attention then he wasn’t right for me and I will move on. (after I curse him out and TP his car..but that’s another story. hee hee I’m kidding..really I am.) I mean what do I care if he logs on? I am not logging on and that’s all that matters. Click here to see my rules..remember?
  3. Ask for too many details on former girlfriends. Oh now you did it girl! Now you just discovered that his ex was a former gymnast and model who currently plays the body double for Angelina Jolie. Did you just borrow some trouble? … mmmhmm you did … Why would we do that? I am interested in my man’s past but I don’t need to know his exes bra cup size any more than he needs to know my exes penis size. (OHHHH SNAP! Goodie Sara went there.) It’s the truth and I calls it likes I sees it.
  4. Don’t push the guy you are dating for a label or to define the relationship. Yes at some point “the talk” needs to happen. However, if we are all grown ups, why do you need to know if he is your “boyfriend” or not. In fact, I feel kinda dumb even saying I have a boyfriend at 33. It sounds so juvenile. (I’ve never pushed for a title but I really don’t have as much experience dating as other women my age. I can tell you I never will. I don’t serial date or play games “if you are a woman getting played-you gotta click https://howtodateinlv.wordpress.com/2013/02/12/its-not-playing-its-dating-practical-dating-advice/ and read this-it will help” and I LOVE the freedom of that!) I will say I’ve seen my friends do it and it will slowly drive them crazy.  Why? Cuz they are borrowing trouble dude.
  5. In addition to number 4, you should never push your man for a commitment. The man I married didn’t need pushing..course that was a disaster but it’s besides the point. I am guilty of this. I am guilty of thinking if a man says he wants to spend the rest of his life with me it means he wants to marry me. It may mean he wants the status quo. I will NEVER push or inquire about marriage again. (Um no I didn’t ask him to marry me but I kept bringing it up. ) The results I got were not positive. Here is my suggestion to that: At the onset of a relationship, the discussion of what you want long-term usually comes up and I recommend……honesty! Then there are no mixed feelings later. If you change your mind down the road, you may need to be prepared for the relationship to be over. Do not do what I did. I tried pushing, I tried guilting, I tried all kinds of stuff. Then I realized I didn’t even want to marry him. Why in the world would I ever want to marry someone who didn’t ask me out of desire to spend his life with me? If a man wants you, he will make it known. Ooops..lesson learned. Try to learn from my mistake. I will not repeat that one.

As a bonus..definitely don’t ever do this!

crazy-women-bizarre-21

Guess I’ve made my point! My moral for the day? Ladies, let’s not borrow trouble. I know it’s hard but instead of letting your suspicious or analytical mind go crazy, try looking at the man’s actions. Are you getting the attention you need? Is he distracted? I promise you, men aren’t very complicated. (I love men-I’m not hating) When they care, you will know. Until next time…Ciao!

April 26, 2013 Posted by | Women Advice | , , , , , , , , , | 4 Comments

He’s just not that into you

As I struggle to date in a city filled with shallow people and fake men (not all, just the ones I seem to attract), I’d like to share some insight I discovered while watching this movie. He’s Just Not That Into You  had me laughing my butt off. To keep it real-one part Gigi said stood out and really drove home a point I needed to hear….

Girls are taught a lot of stuff growing up. If a guy punches you he likes you. Never try to trim your own bangs and someday you will meet a wonderful guy and get your very own happy ending. Every movie we see, Every story we’re told implores us to wait for it, the third act twist, the unexpected declaration of love, the exception to the rule. But sometimes we’re so focused on finding our happy ending we don’t learn how to read the signs. How to tell from the ones who want us and the ones who don’t, the ones who will stay and the ones who will leave. And maybe a happy ending doesn’t include a guy, maybe… it’s you, on your own, picking up the pieces and starting over, freeing yourself up for something better in the future. Maybe the happy ending is… just… moving on. Or maybe the happy ending is this, knowing after all the unreturned phone calls, broken-hearts, through the blunders and misread signals, through all the pain and embarrassment you never gave up hope. http://www.imdb.com/title/tt1001508/quotes?qt=qt0517495

We are taught that! WHERE’S MY HAPPY ENDING??-right? It can’t possibly be on POF or OKCupid-can it?  I started thinking about happy endings. I am a big advocate of them. However, maybe in real life the happy ending doesn’t include two people living happily ever after. Maybe it really is the freedom to find something better. The entire discussion about “exceptions” also stood out.

Ok, Ok. Exhibit A. Chad the drummer who lived in a storage space. He only used me for rides and yet I continued to stalk him for most of 1998. Then oh, um, there was Don, that broke up with me every Friday so that he could have his weekends free. I was delusional about that relationship. I used to refer to him as my husband to random people, like my dental hygienist. Anyway, all my friends used to tell me about how things might work out with these dipsticks because they knew someone, who knew someone, who dated a dipstick just like mine. That girl ended up getting married and living happily ever after. That the exception and we’re not the exception we’re the rule. http://www.imdb.com/title/tt1001508/quotes?qt=qt0517682

The romantic side of me freely admits that I dream of being an exception. Although I am pretty awesome, I am realizing that I am almost certainly the rule. So maybe this means the man I waited on to want to commit wasn’t going to wake up and have a change of heart. I know I know-derr right? I am the rule. But noooo..I couldn’t learn this the easy way. I let him back in-against everyone’s advice. I mean he claimed to really love me, he knows I want a married life with someone I truly love. I truly loved him. What’s the big effin deal? I had a friend who left her boyfriend because he wouldn’t commit after two years and he missed her so much that he realized he must be with her forever and now they are married-so it could happen. REALITY check…that “friend” I am referring to is the exception. I am the rule. (If he doesn’t want to commit to you he aint ever gonna) I am the rule for him.  He’s just not that into me.  But man someday, someone might make me an exception-right?

Of all the things I contemplated during the movie it was:  If a man wants to be with you, he will make it happen-period. I am sooooo guilty of making excuses for someone. The truth is that guy was just not that into me. Shocking really cuz I think I rock! I understand some of you might be thinking, “Geesh Sara this is just a movie.” I know! The point isn’t that I am taking relationship advice from a movie. (Work with me people.) The moral behind that is perhaps we really do get so caught up in looking for a hidden meaning that we don’t read the signs correctly. I got so caught up in little, nice things this man did for me that I missed all the MAJOR signs that really should have seen before

I love men. I am not a hater of the opposite gender. I just think women (some not all) are notorious for over-analyzing men’s intentions. The reality check I just had: It’s really not that hard. If a man wants you, he will make it known. Oh Snap! I get it-I really do. Maybe I helped someone else too. I will never ever make the same mistake again. Don’t worry-I WILL make other mistakes.

Until next time…Ciao

January 20, 2013 Posted by | Mistakes, Relationships, Uncategorized, Women Advice | , , , , , , , , | 4 Comments

“Only Fools Rush In…”

fools rush in

…Or at least that’s what Elvis said in his famous song, I Can’t Help Falling In Love With You. Yup, I am one of those fools that he is talking about.

So here’s what happened. Just 3 days after my wife left me I met a woman at of all places, a singles dance at church! Then, exactly 3 weeks later she moved in with me and a few months after that we got married! I’m sure you can see where this one is going and you are right, it did not turn out good at all and now I have yet another ex-wife!

Yup, I’m a fool, I rushed in and it was a huge mistake. The reason I’m bringing all of this up is because I learned three very hard lessons from this experience and I hope you don’t have to learn them the same way I did.

Lesson One: Don’t ever date out of revenge! Never date someone in an effort to get over a previous relationship. I was hurt very badly by my ex-wife. I thought I’ll show you, I’ll just find someone else and replace you! That never turns out good because your intentions are totally wrong. You should date someone and build a relationship with them because of what the two of you have together, not just to get back at someone else who hurt you.

Lesson Two: Slow it down! We all know how intoxicating that infatuation stage of dating can be. You know, when you first are falling in love and the other person can do no wrong. Well, I can tell you that stage wears off and there will come a time when that other person can and will do a whole lot of wrong. If you have rushed in and made a commitment before you see what you are really getting into chances are it will turn out to be bad, really really bad!

Lesson Three: If it is a problem when you are dating, it will only get worse if you get married. When my ex and I rushed in we were both aware of the fact that we had vastly different views regarding religion. It was a tiny problem when we were dating. However, after we were married it was a HUGE Deal Breaking issue and as it turned out it was the main reason that our marriage was doomed to fail.

Dating gives us an opportunity to really get to know someone on a deep level and to figure out if this is the person that we want to be with. However, if you “Rush In” you will totally miss out on that opportunity. I know I have done it, now don’t you be a “Fool” like I was.

December 19, 2012 Posted by | Chemistry, First Dates, Introduction, Men Advice, Mistakes, Women Advice | 1 Comment

The Mysterious Case of the Disappearing Woman

If you have been involved in the crazy mixed up world of online dating for even a short period of time I’m sure you have probably encountered what I like to call the strange case of the “disappearing woman.”

One of the first women that I met in my online dating experience seemed really nice. We went through all of the steps of emailing, texting, talking on the phone etc. and then finally agreed to meet for a low-key casual “coffee date.” Well, that date ended up lasting 2 + hours and it seemed like we had a real connection.

The next night we went to dinner together. We had a great time and I really felt like we had a connection. She actually texted me that night after the date saying what a great time she had and was really looking forward to seeing me again. Sounds like she was pretty interested..right?

I called her the next day and left her a voice mail message. She texted me right back saying that she was just going into her yoga class and would call me later. Once again she said that she had a really great time the night before and was looking forward to talking to me again soon.

Well, guess what, no call that night, the next day or ever! I sent her a couple of texts and left another voice mail message and nothing. She just disappeared! I hope she wasn’t hit by a bus or eaten by a lion, but I have no idea. She just disappeared.

It is fine if you don’t want to see me anymore, but don’t just disappear! That is just plain rude! I know that online dating is crazy and messed up, but come on ladies, show a little class and have a some common courtesy. If you don’t want to see someone anymore at least take a couple of minutes and send a short text, email or phone call. It’s not that tough to say “I have decided to see someone else.” It’s just common courtesy and it certainly shows a lot more class than simply being the “disappearing woman.”

December 18, 2012 Posted by | Chemistry, First Dates, Introduction, Men Advice, Mistakes, Online Dating, Women Advice | 5 Comments

Hey Baby…You’re just what I’ve been looking for!!

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Well…you’re not what I’ve been looking for really. (But you wouldn’t know that because you never asked.) Okay okay okay…I would never REALLY pull a gun on someone-but some days I wish I had a pass.

I recently-and I mean recently-received a message from a lovely gentleman that offered me money to travel with him. I am no longer so naive that I don’t understand that women exist out there that appreciate that kind of thing. I’m just not one of them. This chica is not for sale yo!  What I don’t understand is why a man would hit me up for that after reading my profile. Furthermore, I don’t understand why a man would argue with me after I told him (bluntly) to take a hike. Do men think they can convince a woman of compromising her values? Uggh!

So his message stated..You are exactly what I am looking for. Okay I am already gathering he   must be into my pictures because I can’t imagine him being into me stunning intellect. I message him back to be a smart a&^ and see what he means. He proceeds to tell me that he needs a travel partner and is willing to buy my time. I let  him know this is Las Vegas and there are PLENTY of women who are into that but I’m not one of them. He continues to go back and forth with me. This is the kind of crap that makes me pull down my profile but I am sharing it for two reasons.

The first reason is to share that my mistake was engaging in conversation with him at all. (Maybe someone else will avoid doing it in the future.) The second reason is because what I SHOULD have done is just delete and block. I have used that move many times during my online tenure. Say it with me…Delete and Block……If you get a nasty man messaging you, what do you do? Delete and Block. If you get a psycho chic messaging you, what do you do? Delete and Block. Thank you. Now please drive through…….

December 16, 2012 Posted by | Men Advice, Online Dating, Women Advice | | Leave a comment

Dating SAFETY!!! The Basics of Dating Safely

So we all know that it’s a jungle out there right? I mean, not only is the psychology of dating exhausting, but it can most certainly be physically dangerous. In an effort to educate, I have created a simple list of basics.

  • Do not have a first date take pick you up at your house. (This seems like a no-brainer but I gotta put it out there.)
  • Never drink too much on a date-until you really know and trust the person. (I did this once and luckily barely avoided what could have been a VERY dangerous situation)
  • Do not share more than the other person shares. (Hey if I can’t know where you live, you don’t need to know where I live-whatcha hiding?)
  • Do not leave your drink unattended at the bar. (I’m serious about this one-really really serious. I had a girlfriend that almost DIED because she did this..and guess what? The guy was a friend of a friend!)
  • Be aware of your surroundings. (Don’t let someone catch you leaving down a dark alley on the way to your car all alone at 12am at night.
  • Know the person’s full name before you date them. (If any man/woman has a problem with wanting to know who the heck you’re dating…well I have a problem with them.)
  • If you are unsure, run some internet searches. (Hey I know I mentioned cyber stalking and I am ONLY recommending this if you are unsure-and I mean really unsure. I know its uncool but the truth is, we wouldn’t have to be if the person was being forthright. You can never be too careful..go with your instinct. Also, it is remarkably easy to research someone. Be open about it-you’re invading privacy and that’s touchy- if asked and always be transparent with the other person. This means if they do the same to you it’s all good in the hood-right?That keeps it fair! I have found some people I date are like open books and others seem too secretive for my tastes. Relationships need trust and trust stems from honesty-just sayin)

I told you the list was simple. It really can be scary to date and especially in a city like Las Vegas. It just seems like people are rarely what they present themselves to be. However, don’t be jaded! I mean I’m here and so are you. This means there’s some pretty awesome people here too! Until next time…remember…..Image

Ciao!!!

December 16, 2012 Posted by | First Dates, Men Advice, Safety, Women Advice | , , , , , , , | 2 Comments