Single in Sin City

A good girls survival guide to dating in Las Vegas

7 Things You Don’t Tell Your Significant Other

stupid things

Has your S.O. (psst: That’s short for Significant Other) ever opened his/her mouth and you wished you could shove a sock in it? Or even worse…..Have you ever watched the expression on your loved one’s face shatter as you cram your entire foot in your mouth? Then, once you said something incredibly insensitive, you just kept digging the hole deeper? I have. If you have never said something stupid you must be one of those perfect people and you really should teach…cuz I know LOTS of people who need the lessons (like um me.) Unfortunately,  I do not know of this perfect person…so…I wrote a list!

  1. Do not tell your S.O that you are very attracted to a certain “type” of person that does not match them. (It just isn’t a good idea people. You’ve instantly made someone insecure about his/her desirability ((I have no idea if that’s even a word yo..but I checked and it is!))
  2. Do not tell your S.O that you can’t see them anymore because your ex called you back. (Look some things need to be left out.  Things like that can be very damaging to the ego and NO I have not been told that but I’ve witnessed it.)
  3. Never EVER tell your S.O they look fat (I am especially giving this advice to the men. Even confident women might have to work on getting over that)
  4. Never EVVVVVVERRRRRR talk about the pleasurable sex life you had with your ex. (Some things are OFF limits. Why in the world would that even be mentioned? It’s really simple…stay focused on complimenting the sex life you currently have before it becomes your past as well. Derr)
  5. Do not tell your S.O that you want to be married some day but not to them. (Even if it’s the truth..leave it out. It’s hurtful and I am guilty…although it was the truth.)
  6. Do not attack your S.O’s moral character. (DISCLAIMER: If you are on your way out the door forever..perhaps a little truth-telling might be good. However, if you are planning on working it out, please remember this is the kind of stuff that sticks with a person.)
  7. Do not call names. (It’s just not cool. I used to do this in the early stages of my marriage. Although many of the names were true, it’s not nice or productive. I’ve also been on the receiving end of some of the vilest names you can call a woman..by someone who claimed to love me. It hurts.)

Today’s Advice: Words hurt. People like to say sticks and stones may break my bones…blah blah blah. The truth is that most damage is caused by what we say out of spite or stupidity. If you love your S.O. focus on building them up. (post on that coming.) Think through what you are saying. Please trust me on this..focus on the good. It says that in the bible you know. (I’m not trying to get preachy but…) It’s the truth.  Also, if your S.O. messes up forgive him/her if it was unintentional. (I personally stay away from people who say mean things from spite.) If it was stupid…forgive. Writing this out helped me remember that too. Even if you are not Christian, my favorite book in the bible has a lot of valuable lessons on love. I will leave you with my favorite.

1 Corinthians 13:4-12

Love is patient and kind; love does not envy or boast; it is not arrogant or rude. It does not insist on its own way; it is not irritable or resentful; it does not rejoice at wrongdoing, but rejoices with the truth. Love bears all things, believes all things, hopes all things, endures all things. Love never ends.

Until Next Time..Ciao!

 

April 3, 2014 Posted by | Personal Growth, Relationships, Uncategorized | , , , , , , , , , , , , | 2 Comments

Date Gone Bad!!!

Sara,

What do you do when your date totally embarrasses you?  I recently went out with this woman who I met online.  Our first “coffee date” was pretty cool and I thought she was really nice. On our second date we went to dinner at a very nice restaurant. She ordered a salad.  When the  waitress brought it out my date came completely unglued!  She totally freaked out saying this salad doesn’t look the same as the salad she had last time she was there. What was the matter with it!  She gave the waitress a really hard time and demanded to see the manager.  The waitress and the manager were doing everything possible to make her happy, they brought her another salad they gave her a bunch of extra stuff, they apologized profusely but nothing would make her happy she complained during the entire dinner.  In the meantime I was so embarrassed I didn’t know what to do. Her salad looked fine to me, but she was throwing a fit. We finished eating and she took everything she could off the table and put it in her purse.  I was so embarrassed I left the server a 50% tip and we left.

I thought maybe this was just a one-time thing and so we went out again the next week.   We went to another really nice restaurant and she threw another fit!  She had to call in the manager and complain about one of the servers it was so embarrassing I wanted to crawl under the table.  Needless to say I am not calling this woman back and truthfully, I hope I never see her again. 

 What should a guy do when his date is embarrassing him like crazy?

 

Wowsers! I am sorry to say I laughed pretty hard at the imagery of someone stealing everything off the table. I think the question posed to me is, “What do you do in this type of situation?”

Advice: Well honestly Anonymous, I would not go on another date with that person! Also, if a date ever steals things off the table, then you should probably not ask her out again. (just sayin..) Although, I think that is “hindsight is 20/20″ type of advice. My real advice is if you are ever in that type of awkward, bad vibe, geesh this date is cray cray type of scenario again….end it. I literally would say something like this,”I can tell you are having a rough night and this is not my idea of appropriate behaviour. Thank you for meeting me but this is not what I am looking for.” (I promise you I have actually said something along those lines before during a bad date.) You see most people don’t handle things that way so they are shocked by it. If you say it firmly, politely, and in a manner that leaves no room for argument..I guarantee you will catch them off guard enough to make an exit. I left a bad date with his jaw wide open in a similar manner in the middle of dinner. He called me to apologize but really…..you just can’t put the toothpaste back in the tube. (I’m full of useless clichés tonight!) You can choose to not tolerate that type of behavior and tell the bad date that and RUN or…………You can always go the bathroom and not come back. I prefer directness BUT the choice is up to you!

Until Next Time….Ciao!

March 28, 2014 Posted by | First Dates, Uncategorized | , , , , , , , , , , , , , , | 4 Comments

Worst Break Up Ever…

A couple dated for about 8 months. While they dated, he took her to his  favorite hangout-a karaoke bar. She met all his friends and hung out at this spot every weekend. She did not sing but she went with the guy she was dating. Unfortunately, no one really liked the girl. In fact, they called her bitch face (not nice and I am NOT endorsing that behavior…but I did include it cuz it was funny and she was a snooty mcsnooterton.) However, the guy liked her so the friends accepted her. She even made a few semi-friendships. As time passed the guy decided he wanted to break up with her.

He called her on the phone and asked if they could meet up to talk. The girl, (whom I think may have suspected the nature of the intended conversation) refused to meet up. Eventually, the guy was forced to break up via text. That Friday he went to his normal hangout with his friends and……

The girl was there. The REAL awkward moment was when homegirl (that’s her name now) realized the guy was dating one of his female friends. Homegirl felt betrayed and YES I agree that it was a little soon BUT it is a free country right? So she sat across from him the entire night and……

Homegirl went to that bar every weekend thereafter. Initially, she was earning sympathy with some of the patrons of this bar. However, she kept going on an on about the guy every night. Every.single.weekend. People grew tired of it, but there were a couple of people who still listened. Mainly they were older men who wanted a chance to console a hot, youngish blonde. As weeks turned into months and she kept complaining and complaining about the situation and how he cheated on her with his female friend and how this female friend was supposed to be homegirl’s friend too….well you can imagine how people grew frustrated.  The final event was when homegirl called the new girlfriend a slut. The new girlfriend snapped! Then the new girlfriend threw a beer bottle at her and now…..THERE’S A GIRL FIGHT!!! (I’m way bummed I missed that shiznit cuz girl fights are the best to watch…but such is life yo.) Both girls errr women (they are in their mid-thirties) were asked to leave and not come back.  At this point it has been three months since homegirl and dude’s breakup.

girl fight

What is todays Moral:

Ladies: Why in the world did she keep coming back? Show some gosh darn dignity.  She had no right to infringe upon his friends by continuing to hang around after the break up. If I broke up with someone, I would not even dream of pushing myself at HIS friends. I would not be mean to his friends but I certainly would respect his previous friendships. The only thing this woman managed to do was make a fool of herself. Please don’t do that. Keep you head up high! Recognize the fact that you are a strong and wonderful woman. There will be a new man who recognizes that..I promise. AND no fist fighting over men. You might get more than you bargain for.

Men: Watch out for crazies. I’ve warned you before. Hell hath no fury like a woman scorned and when you add a little nutso into the mix…KA BOOM! Be careful.

Until Next Time, here’s a song…Ciao!

February 11, 2014 Posted by | Dating Advice, Personal Growth, Uncategorized | , , , , , , , , , , , | 2 Comments

Breaking Up is Hard to do

Dear Sara,

How should I break up with my boyfriend? I don’t want to be with him but I’m scared to tell him. So far, I’ve just been avoiding him.  Any advice?

Anonymous

I have a great strategy for this. Tell him you have a flesh-eating disease that is currently incubating but during this period of time it is highly contagious. No?

Okay, tell him you have to move to Yemen for work. (I’m not so sure I spelled it right and I’m pretty sure Chandler did it in Friends and it did not work.) No?

Maybe…just maybe….you can…tell him the truth. Okay, all jokes aside, this was an easy question to answer and post to write. (Probably why I chose it, cuz I’m feeling all kinds of lazy tonight.) This is easy for me because you need to be honest. The absolute worst thing you can do to the poor guy is drag it out and make him feel even worse while you ignore him. You absolutely need to put your big girl pants on and face this head on. Everyone knows I love lists…so here goes.

DO

  • Tell him right away.
  • Tell him in person and directly
  • If you absolutely can’t meet up with him, at least do it on the phone (I really do prefer the in person method)
  • Be gentle but honest
  • Keep it short and sweet-no need to spend two hours with the dude your dumping (Like a bandaid..just do it quickly)

DO NOT

  • Send him an email
  • Text him (it’s a different version of the above)
  • Use any cliché lines like, “It’s not you, it’s me” or “You just deserve a better person than me.” Its bogus and obvious..for realsies.
  • Turn it into a “Let’s pick on the poor guy getting dumped.” (Sometimes in an order to feel better people like to become confrontational and start picking on the person they are dumping…it helps them feel better about being the bad guy.)
  • Just disappear (This is one of the crappiest things you can do to a person. They deserve closure.)
  • Lie (The truth might hurt but lies are no bueno.)
  • Sink to his level if he gets angry. (If he does start a fight..just walk away. I mean you just broke up with him. It’s not like you have to deal with him again. Please try to be the bigger person and walk away.)

Moral: Breaking up with someone is HARD. However, if you have really made up your mind and you feel this is best…get it over with. It never pays to procrastinate…especially when I am sure you are nervous and the tension is building. The quicker you do it, the sooner you and him can move on. Plus…doesn’t he deserve to know sooner rather than later?  I know it’s hard, but do the right thing and be done with it. I wish you the absolute best with this venture….seriously, I know it sucks. I’ve broken up with men before too. Good luck!

Until Next Time….Ciao

Also, lies can escalate into bigger lies..Kinda like Chandler below. (You don’t want to have to buy a fake ticket to Yemen. If I really tried to lie, this is exactly how it would backfire on me. Ha!)

January 20, 2014 Posted by | Dating Advice, Relationships, Uncategorized | , , , , , , , , , , , | 2 Comments

Holiday Blues

This year I am in a different place than I was last year. Last year the death of my sons’ father was fresh. The shock of it all still heavy on my heart. While I still cry tears occasionally at night over his premature death, everyone in our family is slowly and surely adjusting. Last year I was really alone and just focused on putting one foot in front of the other while pretending I had it all together. I literally just prayed for the season to end.  I dated, but I dated poorly and with a timidity and naivety that drew bad men and dangerous situations to me. I actually started this blog during the holiday season and I swear it saved me from myself. It helped me push through a sad and lonely time. I realized around this time last year that I do not need anyone. I may want someone, but I do not NEED anyone but myself and GOD to be happy. This year is much better but I am still blue. I know this is a happy time of year.

It should be full of love and family time and eating pie..I mean who doesn’t like all those carbs floating around? I feel at such a loss this time of year and I must admit I feel alone. I think maybe in a past life I had a huge family and the sense of being alone is amplified by the latent memories of what I once had? Maybe? I have no idea.  It’s not like I used to have these great childhood holidays. My holidays were filled with disappointment. In fact, I am so fortunate now. I am in such a safer and happier place than I was as a child. I really have nothing to be so sad about. Why do I and so many feel so blue during a celebratory time of the year? Well my friends I do not have an answer. I suspect the answer is different for everyone. I’ve been searching my feelings all week since the sadness hit me. I hate being a whiner. However, my conclusion is that I just need security and stability. It has been such a rough two years. Such an emotional era of my life and during a point in my life where I have to be the one everyone leans on. There’s been no one for me to really lean on and that’s cool…but I’m tired now. I need an era of stability. My soul is craving security and stability. Everything has been outside of my comfort zone. I need some dang comfort. I’m tired of being in unfamiliar water.  I’m tired of being the strong one and I am tired of being tired.  Now I am tired of complaining about it in this post. Ha! Do I have a point in this long rant??? Why yes I do..thank you for asking.

loneliness

Moral: Just because you are lonely doesn’t mean you should let it affect your decisions. I am writing this for friends that will never read it and for friends I have not met that I hope can relate. I personally know two people right now that are making desperate romantic decisions based on their need to have someone. I think it is due to this time of year. Please do not let the holidays do that. You are okay alone. I wrote something comparable last year. Last year I was a hot mess during the holidays. I was grief-stricken and in shock and I still managed to not settle for just any man..no matter how tempted I was. This year, I have met someone who really matters to me. Amidst all the chaos of the last two years…I have found myself really caring about someone again. Before I found him, I had to find my smile all by myself. Where we are at right now is just a season. Nothing else. It will pass. Remember..you’re okay alone and it’s okay to feel sad even if you’re not alone. Sometimes, real strength comes from endurance..not in victory.

Until Next Time…Ciao!

November 26, 2013 Posted by | Personal Growth, Uncategorized | , , , , , , , , , | Leave a comment

I am NOT Afraid!

I was talking with a good friend last week and he told me I was afraid of commitment. That just struck me as hilarious. I pointed out that I have ALWAYS stated that I wanted to be married someday. In fact, he was the one that always said he NEVER wanted to be married and then he proposed to his girlfriend after three months. He replied with, “Yeah but you had a chance to settle down and did not.” I responded quickly with, “That’s because I knew he wanted to do it out of obligation. He never really wanted that type of life with me.” He told me, “See I told you you’re afraid. That’s why you burned through all those guys you were dating.”  FIRST OF ALL: I did not burn through ALL of them. Some of them were real creepos. Some of them bored the HELL outta me. Some of them wanted me to put out on the third date. Some of them just didn’t feel right. Some of them weren’t interested in me. I am not like him. I didn’t latch on to the first normal person I dated because so many people are freaking weird in this city. I may hate living alone but not enough to settle. Not when I feel like I have so much to offer. (Yeah I said it. I DO bring some cool things to the table.) Of all of my friends, he should understand what it’s like being stuck in a horrible marriage. It.Sucks. I don’t expect perfection but I am not settling. My friend laughed at me. He asked me, “Do you think this guy is the one?” I responded quickly with my answer. He laughed again and said but you’re still scared.  This got me thinking.

My friends perception of me isn’t as crazy as I thought. (I feel free to write about this because it’s the truth and no one I know really reads my blog. Although I have offered for them to.) I have thought of running a MILLION times in this relationship. I love him. He is really good for me. He is the most rational relationship I have ever been in and I want him. I am not used to it. I am used to intense craziness. I am used to men filling my head with beautiful things only to never be there when I need them. I am used to..well…dysfunctional men.  For some reason the fact that it is healthy and still makes me happy scares the hell out of me. It makes it more real to me. While I should be elated (and I am) I can’t help but feel scared. What if I fail? What if the kids get attached and I make a huge mistake? How can I set everyone up for that again? What am I doing? You see dear readers, it is not just me on the line. What if he doesn’t like always being around my kids? (I can thank my ex for that.) I know they are great but geesh parenting is such a huge responsibility in my life. No one will ever be their father but someone coming into this household will have a much larger role in their life because their father is dead. I can’t change that. It’s the cards that were dealt to me.  Then I chastise myself for even thinking these thoughts. I am thinking them because every day I have is better with him in it. It is not always exciting. I do not always agree with him. It is not perfect. However, it just dawned on me that this is why it feels so real. I can’t deny that..at least not to myself. I can deny it to my friend…heehee. The thing with good friends though is they always call you out.

So he laughed his butt off at my expense while I explained I am not scared of commitment. He jokingly pointed out that I am totally sure of the guy but start stuttering when he asked me about long-term commitment with the guy. My epiphany is that I am absolutely terrified of it. I am also absolutely terrified of not having it. (Try to make sense of that shiznit, cuz I’m still trying to.) I am just terrified of letting everyone I love down and failing again. I used to think I was a good wife. However, the more time that passes I wonder if that was the case. Someone told me recently that people are the most honest when they are drunk. The man I married was always drunk. He said some of the most vicious and mean things to me when he was drinking. If there is any truth to that, he really hated me.  I can’t digest that and I can’t ask him about it because he’s gone. I confess that towards the end of our marriage I strongly suspected he couldn’t stand me anymore than I could stand him. I can’t understand why he wanted me back so bad (I mean he NEVER gave up) if he really felt that way about me. It’s starting to mess with my head.

However,  the last three years my life has been a series of incredibly unfamiliar experiences. I don’t like it but I know it is why I have grown so much in such a short period of time.  I know if I had met him at a different time, I would have run away months ago. It is just more real than anything I have experienced. (Real means..it is perfect in its normal imperfections.) He is not perfect but I believe he is who he says he is. I believe in him. I do not know if I believe in myself yet. I believe in myself in many ways. I believe I am capable and strong and at the core a good person. I just don’t know if I am worthy of anything real like him. I want him. I answered my friend without a second of hesitation. Although, a wonderfully simple day like today made me realize how terribly vulnerable I still feel. I know that sounds stupid as hell but hey..It’s my blog yo.

So what’s my moral: My moral is that I don’t need to find the answer today. I do not need to worry about commitment or lack of commitment or anyone else’s opinion. I do not need to run from something that I cherish. (that’s just plain old stupid anyways) What I know I need to work on (and if you can relate, I want you to try to work on it as well) is the fact that I deserve to be happy. I do not know how to reach that point but I recognize it in myself. I am a woman of faith. I am turning this over to GOD because he definitely has a better handle on stuff like this than I could ever have.  In the meantime, I will pray and strive to be the best person I can be, and….um try to not be quite as stupid as I used to be. If you are reading this and can relate, do not let fear dictate your actions. Operating in Fear = failure. 

Until next time… Ciao!

September 24, 2013 Posted by | Personal Growth, Relationships, Uncategorized | , , , , , , , , , , , , | Leave a comment

Why Were You Going to Settle?

I recently had a good friend call off his marriage engagement. The reasons were tragic and actually had nothing to do with either of them. However, it is a very black and white situation and there is no choice but for them but to break up. (I know he wouldn’t care if I described why the engagement ended but it is just too intense to share. I see no value it would bring my readers as far as relationships go.)  So he is sad but I honestly think he dodged a bullet.

The woman was not bad or evil or psycho. She was just not right for him. She did not communicate her feelings well, she didn’t meet his physical needs and she constantly compared him to her ex husband. I never sensed that he was REALLY happy but I reserve that judgement because I believe he loves her.  I can tell he is hurting. We were having a conversation earlier and he gave me one of the most honest replies I’ve ever heard.

Our conversation centered around what we are or are not willing to settle on as far as relationship needs. He told me, “I was going to settle then I had that option taken from me and had to cut bait.” I immediately responded with, “Why were you going to settle?” He answered with, “Because I didn’t want to start over.” First of all I love the fact that he is so honest with himself that he immediately knew the answer. It takes a special person to admit something like that. My only reply was, “I am too scared of being stuck in another horrible marriage to settle.” This really got me thinking.

How often do people settle for that reason? How often must it happen in a city like Las Vegas where you are lucky to find someone who isn’t crazy or on drugs or shallow or all of the above? I see the temptation….but why should we settle? What does settling mean? I think it means settling for less than what you deserve. The key here is to be sure you don’t feel “entitled” to unrealistic things.  It is really tragic that anyone feels compelled to settle for anyone “decent” in order to not be alone. I don’t want someone to settle for me. I dream of being with a man who feels blessed to have me in his life. I don’t want him thinking..”Well she aint perfect but this one will do.” The idea just breaks my heart.

What’s my advice: Do not settle for less than what you need. If you are in a relationship and too many instances of this occur…think hard about your future with that person. If no amount of mutual compromise will fix it…then it’s time to go. Ahhh but that is so easy to say-right? The real challenge comes when you actually love that person. Things will never be perfect but remember to not sell yourself short. You are fabulous even if you are alone!

Until next time…Ciao

August 14, 2013 Posted by | Las Vegas Tips, Personal Growth, Relationships, Uncategorized | , , , , , , , , , , , , | 4 Comments

What is Love?

I recently received this email. I decided to share because it hits close to home; and I think it may help others too. (To be honest I am behind in responses and I promise to catch up.) In my normal manner, I have removed names and I am cutting the email short. I don’t have room for all of it..so there.

Hi Sara,

I have never been lucky in love…..I am in a serious relationship currently and want to ask you what your thoughts are on being in love. How do you know?…… I am afraid I am moving too quick and do not want to be hurt……. Do you have any tips on telling if you are in love?

Anonymous

Yeah so I’ve already said that I am not qualified for this. I keep getting these types of questions. How do I know what love is? I don’t exactly have a success rate at being in love. However, I have been thinking about this question ever since I read it.  I think people have tried to define love for centuries. What is love? How do you know?

Love is when you realize you care more about someone else’s happiness than your own. Love comes in many forms. Romantically speaking, love is not loving all the perfections of your partner. It is easy to love perfections. It’s about loving all the imperfections. I know I am in love when I realize I adore the way someone chews their food, or their poor driving or their incessant need to always be right. If I catch myself gazing at a man’s profile while he drives in admiration or watching the way his mouths form words…I know I am in love. I don’t notice those things when I am in lust. I just don’t. BIG signs for me are when his presence doesn’t crowd me. I have always been secretly crowded by love interests. Unfortunately to the point where I may care about someone but after say 24 hours around them, I am ready for a few days off. I know I have found someone special when I don’t need space.

So what’s my advice? I am always going to tell you to look at your actions as well as your partners. Is everything healthy? By this I mean are you hiding your relationship or are you taking natural, normal steps toward progress. Is he/she meeting your basic needs?  What does your gut tell you? Not your err..lust, but that inner voice that we should always listen to. That gut feeling has saved me many times and whenever I overlook it, it leads to heartache. There is no time frame on love. It.just.happens.  Do not run from love out of fear. I do not recommend making any decisions out of fear. Fear leads to loneliness and it leads to something worse than failure. It leads to no experiences at all. You will never have a chance to improve on past failures if you do not keep trying.  However, do take the time to really analyze your feelings and where they come from. I wish you the absolute best in this exciting relationship. May love and GOD be on your side.

Until next time…Ciao!

August 3, 2013 Posted by | Love, Relationships, Uncategorized | , , , , , , , , , , , , | 2 Comments

The Marrying Kind

For some reason men I date ALWAYS pop back up. I don’t know why. It may happen to lots of women but I can only account for me. Today a man I went on a few dates with asked me if I was married yet. Um…I went out with him a few times about 6 months ago. How fast does homeboy think I move? It took me foooooorrrreeeevvvverrrr to even meet a guy that made it beyond 4 dates. Ha! (That’s another story though.) For obvious reasons, I asked the man why. (The truth is, I wouldn’t have answered my cell at all if I knew it was him because there was nothing to say and I am dating someone exclusively….but I did so I was stuck..doh!) 

This man told me I was the Marrying Kind.

wedding couple-kids

Hmmmmm…That’s just effin HILARIOUS to me considering he does not really know me. The statement just seemed awfully bold and presumptuous.  Obviously, I asked him what he meant.  Homeboy (yeah I’m just gonna call him that mmkay) told me I seemed like the kind of woman who men who want to be married propose to. This doesn’t offend me. (Psst: I DO really want to be married someday if the man’s right for me and as long as it’s for the right reasons…but um who is he to tell me this-ya know?) I replied like anyone who knows me would. I said, “Well thanks.”  BUT Homeboy couldn’t leave it at that. Oh no! Homeboy proceeded to tell me that’s why he didn’t want to date me any longer. (Yeah I was the one that told him we weren’t right for each other so now I’m literally placing my finger on my mouth to stop myself from saying something mean-spirited.) So I did what any mature woman my age would do. I said, “nuh uh, I told you we weren’t looking for the same things…remember?” To which he replied, “Who stopped seeing who doesn’t matter. I’ve been thinking about it and I am no longer opposed to being married. I am done with  having fun with Vegas women and want something solid.” I quickly replied, “And I wish you the best of luck in finding it.” BOOM GOES THE DYNAMITE! I said it quickly. I said it sarcastically. By Golly, I said it with the level of neutrality it takes to pull a comment like that off.  Sometimes I’m so mature.

He stuttered, and as he stammered, I snickered. I mean you just can’t make stuff like this up. This is real life comedy at its finest hour. I would have LOVED to have seen his face. What type of arrogance do you think a man like that must have? Homeboy could only respond with, “Well I saw a Taekwondo commercial the other day and it made me think of you.” (For the record I don’t think I’ve ever seen a TKD commercial..but I will let homeboy have this one..heehee) I replied, “I appreciate your thoughts but I am seeing someone and I do not think it’s appropriate for you to call.” DOUBLE TRIPLE BOOM! I was offended and bemusedly shocked. ( I am sooooo proud of myself for finding a proper place to use the word bemusedly. Go Clark County education!)  I maintained a demeanor of full blown Ice Queen mode and I think he got off the phone with that damn arrogance knocked down just a little bit. Some.Peoples.Children.

My conclusion to this hilarious event is that I felt both insulted and complimented. The insulting feelings stemmed from the fact he felt I would give him the time of day now that he wanted a serious relationship. As if dude!  However I got to admit there are worse things to be called than the Marrying Kind. I am a good woman. I just won’t be “his” woman. Ha! So what’s my moral??

If you are single (male or female) do not approach the former dates that perhaps didn’t make the first cut and ask them out again. It’s waaaay lame. (I also thought it was obvious but guess not.) If you are approached by this type of comeback line or ANY variation of it (male or female) RUN! You don’t need to settle for this. Remember if you don’t place a high value on yourself, no one else will either.

Until next time…Ciao!

July 16, 2013 Posted by | Dating Advice, Personal Growth | , , , , , , , , , , , , | 2 Comments

Say What?? Things You DON’T Ever Really Need To Say

We’ve all done it! We’ve all encountered the type of situation where you just decided you wanted to see what your own foot tastes like. In fact, if I had a quarter for every time I did it, I would have at least $0.75. (yeah I’m kinda sorta lying.) The truth is, I’ve had so many experiences where I have opened my mouth and the words just flew out. I quickly reached for them so I could put them back in my mouth but I couldn’t catch them in time. I knew those gosh darn words were wrong the second they left my mouth but there was no going back. My only recourse was hasty apologies. You see, people like to say that words don’t hurt but they do. Did you know that it takes, 7 compliments to counteract one insult? It’s true because I read it on the internet…derr. Okay, seriously have you ever noticed how much easier it is to believe the bad stuff you hear about yourself. I don’t care if you believe it or not. It took years of positive reinforcement to see myself as who I am today…and I do see myself positively. (No offense..okay..I’m just in one of my über blunt moods. I received a troublesome phone call from someone and I am hoping he gets a flesh-eating bacteria on his butt… the curable “yet painful” kind.) Back to the topic at hand! Let’s discuss some things you should not say..ever really.

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  • “Not to be rude but” or “No offense but” (If you need to phrase a statement with this type of opening line, follow my grandmother’s advice and don’t. If you know you’re going to be rude, don’t say it! Duh!)
  • “To make a long story short.” (All I can think of when I hear this line is..too late.) I know it’s not offensive..it just bugs me so I decided to add it. I think it’s the full moon.
  • Do not tell a man you care about that he is a punk. (Or a wussy or anything non manly. It has been my experience that men take that very seriously. It is much better to demonstrate respect to a man-even when it’s only partially deserved. If you treat a man like a man, the chances are he will be encouraged to act like one. Try it…what can you lose?)
  • Do not tell a woman you care about anything negative about her appearance-especially non-solicited comments. (Argue with me if you want but a woman will usually blossom under adoration. If you make a woman feel beautiful and adored through kind words and actions, you will assist in creating an empowered, confident woman. The results will blow your mind.)***QUALIFIER: You can’t make her confident as a person but you might make her confident in your feelings about her-this is what I am referring to***
  • Do not EVER ask a woman if she’s pregnant unless you know she is. The results could be awful. (Oh I’ve been there and done that..but she straight up looked prego…I swear. I never assume anymore.)
  • I do not recommend laughing at a mans actions, thoughts or behavior…well not to his face. I have been guilty of this. Not intentionally..but if I get laughed at over running from a bug, I take it in stride. When men get laughed at (in my humble and limited experience) they take it as a sign of disrespect. I’m pretty sure about this but hey it’s just my opinion-right?
  • Don’t ever ask a person to let you know when they are finished talking. (Yes I AM speaking from personal experience. Boy howdy did I make someone at work mad by asking her that…oops)
  • If someone angrily asks you why you’re looking at them like they have something on their face..don’t say, “Actually you do..right there” or any variation of that. (That one will cause you problems..been there done it. heehee)
  • Don’t ever tell your boyfriend/girlfriend that you would never marry them. Oh and especially don’t tell your boyfriend/girlfriend that you want to be married some day AND you don’t want to marry them. (They seem to get offended by that..go figure..)

I could go on and on but I don’t really want to. What’s my moral? Please think before you speak. This is sage advice I practice all the time. I am naturally forthright; and I always tend to unabashedly say what is on my mind. Sometimes, we really shouldn’t. In a relationship of any kind, it may cause irreversible damage. So if you don’t think you should say it….um don’t.

 

Until Next Time…Ciao!

June 25, 2013 Posted by | Just for Fun, Personal Growth, Uncategorized | , , , , , , , , | 2 Comments