Single in Sin City

A good girls survival guide to dating in Las Vegas

7 Traits of The “Vegas Guy”

douchebag epidemic

Las Vegas IS a trip! Men in this city are too! I’ve written about the “Vegas Woman.” Now it’s time to write about ‘dem crazy men in this city! I love lists! I really do! Here are seven very common signs that “Vegas Men” have.

1. They have a google voice phone number. (There is no way they are giving you their actual  phone number..geesh)

2. They will be regulars on most dating sites. (They have to keep a healthy inventory as they keep searching for the hottest/best/most successful female.)

douchebag-on-steroids-1

3. The will consistently name drop. (They know people who know people yo.)

4. Are 45 and have never been in a committed relationship. (Why choose one when you can have many?)

5. Know every night club by heart. (They ARE living IN Vegas baby!)

6. They may get hair highlights (Once again not all men with highlights are bad or players but…)

7. Can you say designer labels and lots of knowledge about them? (I love nice things. I am not saying this alone makes a “Vegas Guy” but it is a common trait.)

*****Qualifier: I am not suggesting that a couple of these traits makes a typical “Vegas Guy.” I am only listing common traits I see among them. Also, I never said I had all the answers….this is my blog and my humble opinion.*****

Moral: The key here is status and shallowness.  A “Vegas Guy” is mainly into appearance and the Vegas lifestyle. I do not recommend dating these men if you are looking for something solid and meaningful. It is hard to find anything meaningful when this type of man is usually on the lookout for something better. Who wants to feel like they are constantly being evaluated? I know I don’t.

Until Next Time…Ciao!

 

Advertisements

February 24, 2014 Posted by | Las Vegas Tips, Uncategorized, Women Advice | , , , , , , , , , , , | Leave a comment

Try Something Different

Albert Einstein

I watch my friends repeat themselves all the time. Um yes…I make mistakes all the time. However, it’s easier to see a problem from the outside. It just is. (Now that we’ve cleared that up, I will continue.) I observe my friends falling for the same type of person over and over and over and…the relationships fail. I am going to use case studies.

I have a male friend that only dates party girls. Yes, over time the women have gotten a little less stripper and perhaps a little more barfly. Maybe that’s not even being fair..but definitely not a “good girl.” (I am not dogging out my wild sisters…I love you guys and I am often amazed at the ability to be so carefree.) However, my friend wants a family. He feels his male clock is ticking at 36. (SIDE NOTE: Neither men nor women should feel rushed to settle. There are plenty of people who start families later in life.) Back to the point! The women he gravitates toward are pretty in a harder way and usually like to party and usually date a LOT of different men. Do you see where I am going with this? These women DO NOT want a family or a husband. Well…not usually. So what happens? He ends up getting hurt and then he is just so shocked by it, he falls into a slump. All I can think of is that old fable about the woman who saved a snake…then the snake bites her. The snake replies with, “You knew I was a snake when you saved me.”

I know a woman in a similar boat. She always dates douche bags. The type of men that purposely treat her poorly then disappear for a while. (I know you know the type of man I am talking about.) Then they end up breaking up with her or cheating and she comes running to me in tears. Why is she always dating jerks? The last one I spotted within thirty minutes of meeting him by the way he was checking out every girl he saw…while she was with him. Poor thing doesn’t want to listen and I only offer solicited advice. I try to not mettle in others affairs. Do you see how this pattern of repetitively choosing the same type of guy is NOT working? I wish she did.

Moral for today: Can I be blunt? Of course I can! This is my blog! The truth is…you can’t ALWAYS do the same thing over and over and expect different results. If you are getting the SAME type of problems OVER and OVER again…try looking for common denominators. Is it you? Is it the type of person you are dating? Is it both? I don’t know…but as I’ve said before..If you want a different result, you have to DO different things. It’s really logical if you think about it. Look for patterns and change them. If this is something you can relate to, try it! Do it for science. Albert Einstein coined it well when he said:

definition of madness

 

Until Next Time….Ciao!

January 27, 2014 Posted by | Dating Advice, Mistakes, Personal Growth, Uncategorized | , , , , , , , , , , , , , , | Leave a comment

The Unintentional Player

Don’t hate the player, hate the game! No really, blame the player. However, sometimes a player doesn’t know they are playing. Just for fun, I googled “definition of a player.” Here is one of my favorite ones.

player
a guy who: 
(1) doesn’t understand the meaning of relationship 
(2) is in full reproductive mode 
(3) is very good at making girls think he is into them (also very proficient at breaking said girls hearts) 
(4) often “dates” several girls  (girls are often unaware of each other) 
(5) is an asshole!
don’t hate the player, hate the game? yeah right!
Here was another one. (I had to correct the grammar on these..just as a fyi)
player
A man or woman who hooks up with many different persons but commits to none and in that process ends up hurting some of those involved but there is a difference between player and asshole listed below as 1 and 2 and players generally being happy people until they are caught are opposites of the player hater who only hates because he can’t play or lost or has a girl who got her heart broke by one and is insecure
1 Male or female that has a lot of one night stands or short relationships with many people at once 2 Female or male who has several long-term aka ” i love you” relationships and tricks each into thinking she’s/he’s the one
I’m kinda shocked that 99% of the definitions refer to them as male. I have known some pretty crafty female players.  I have decided that I am going to create my own definition. Why not? It’s my blog yo!
Player
A man or woman who intentionally or unintentionally “plays” or misleads someone during the course of a relationship.
1. The male/female may know they are not looking for the same things but proceed to manipulate the other party for personal gain such as a. money b. sex c. convenience
2. The male/female may not realize they are not ready for a monogamous relationship yet attempt to develop one only to end up hurting the other party involved. This may be due to a. maturity level b. ignorance c. past baggage or emotional damage d. mental issues
Boom! I just wrote my own definition! Whose house???? Sara’s house!
Now that I am done tooting my own horn, I would like to quickly discuss unintentional players. The UP are possibly the most dangerous of all players. (yeah I am gonna use the acronym UP and for my slow friends…such as myself…this stands for Unintentional Player.) UP’s are dangerous because they are harder to spot. Why? UP’s are difficult to identify because they do not KNOW they are a player.  They have not reached a level of awareness in what they want. It’s one thing for someone to KNOW they are a player but to not know it is an entirely different issue. Before you even think of arguing, I challenge you to think of all the dumb people you know. Most of them do not realize it. ( At least I KNOW I’m stupid!) I wanted to write a list of things a UP does but I stopped. I stopped because the list looks the exact same way as what I’ve written about players. So here’s my advice.
Moral: Whether the person REALIZES they are playing with your feelings or not doesn’t matter. The point is that they are. I sympathize with UP’s because they have no level of self-awareness at all. They often flounder in relationships and do not even realize that the real problem is themselves. However, if a player wants to be a player…play on. Just don’t play with me! Ha!  I am not judging a player. However, my post and really my entire blog is to help people who want something real. I just caution everyone not to justify the actions of someone based on the fact that they don’t MEAN to.  Players don’t always know it. I guess that’s all I really have to say about that peeps.
Until next time….here’s a song…ciao!

November 23, 2013 Posted by | Players, Uncategorized | , , , , , , , , , , , | Leave a comment

5 Signs That You’re the Back-up Date

I’ve been meaning to write about this for a while now.   Today I received an email that enabled me to start on this post again.

Dear Sara,

I have been dating this guy for about three months. He calls me regularly for about two weeks and then disappears. He always asks me out on last-minute dates. The dates go well but then he disappears. Why do you think he does that?

Anonymous

Here are 5 signs that you are the back up date:

  1. The person calls you regularly then disappears
  2. The person shows interest and then runs cold for periods of time
  3. The object of your affection always asks you out at the last-minute (once in a while is ok, but always is a red flag)
  4. He/she is not moving forward in the relationship (if it’s been months and you still only see him/her once a week..there might be an issue.)
  5. He/she demonstrates random behavior (calls a lot, stops calling. Always responds to text messages, then stops. It’s really a continuation of number 2.)

I am sorry Anonymous. I think there is a strong chance you are the back-up date. My advice is to stop seeing him. I would let him know that you are looking for a more consistent relationship. Be honest and then walk away. You can’t make someone want to make you a priority.  I know that sucks and it hurts (I’ve been there) but if you walk away now, you can find someone who DOES want to make you a priority. Good luck my friend!  To my male friends (and female) please drop this attitude. There is no point in dating just to date…not when you’re a grown up.

backup date

Until Next Time…Ciao!

October 22, 2013 Posted by | Dating Advice, Players, Relationships, Uncategorized | , , , , , , , , , , , | 3 Comments

Why Were You Going to Settle?

I recently had a good friend call off his marriage engagement. The reasons were tragic and actually had nothing to do with either of them. However, it is a very black and white situation and there is no choice but for them but to break up. (I know he wouldn’t care if I described why the engagement ended but it is just too intense to share. I see no value it would bring my readers as far as relationships go.)  So he is sad but I honestly think he dodged a bullet.

The woman was not bad or evil or psycho. She was just not right for him. She did not communicate her feelings well, she didn’t meet his physical needs and she constantly compared him to her ex husband. I never sensed that he was REALLY happy but I reserve that judgement because I believe he loves her.  I can tell he is hurting. We were having a conversation earlier and he gave me one of the most honest replies I’ve ever heard.

Our conversation centered around what we are or are not willing to settle on as far as relationship needs. He told me, “I was going to settle then I had that option taken from me and had to cut bait.” I immediately responded with, “Why were you going to settle?” He answered with, “Because I didn’t want to start over.” First of all I love the fact that he is so honest with himself that he immediately knew the answer. It takes a special person to admit something like that. My only reply was, “I am too scared of being stuck in another horrible marriage to settle.” This really got me thinking.

How often do people settle for that reason? How often must it happen in a city like Las Vegas where you are lucky to find someone who isn’t crazy or on drugs or shallow or all of the above? I see the temptation….but why should we settle? What does settling mean? I think it means settling for less than what you deserve. The key here is to be sure you don’t feel “entitled” to unrealistic things.  It is really tragic that anyone feels compelled to settle for anyone “decent” in order to not be alone. I don’t want someone to settle for me. I dream of being with a man who feels blessed to have me in his life. I don’t want him thinking..”Well she aint perfect but this one will do.” The idea just breaks my heart.

What’s my advice: Do not settle for less than what you need. If you are in a relationship and too many instances of this occur…think hard about your future with that person. If no amount of mutual compromise will fix it…then it’s time to go. Ahhh but that is so easy to say-right? The real challenge comes when you actually love that person. Things will never be perfect but remember to not sell yourself short. You are fabulous even if you are alone!

Until next time…Ciao

August 14, 2013 Posted by | Las Vegas Tips, Personal Growth, Relationships, Uncategorized | , , , , , , , , , , , , | 4 Comments

Ladies..Don’t Do This!

I was speaking with a man the other day about dating. He said, “Men are expected to do all the courting and almost all the work. Men have to make the first moves while women get to choose from multiple men who deserves their attention.” I responded with, “Well women have to worry about being too interested, not interested enough. We worry about men thinking we are easy but at the same time we want them to know we are not a prude. It’s hard for some women to operate that way.” The conversation originated from the fact I do not believe in any of those things….but I’ve written about that before..click here if you are curious.  However, this conversation made me start thinking about a lot of the attractive, single women I know.  (I am not hating on what I am about to discuss.  I actually used to do this too. )

datinggame

I think this man had a point. I do think the stereotypical dating game is the man chases a woman while she determines who is worthy of her affection. I also think this leads to the man pursuing multiple women in order to “increase his odds.” The results are a vicious circle. The woman complains that she can’t find a good man when she is actually wasting time on men that are caught up in the game.  The man wants to find someone but knows he is one of many so he needs to keep lots of bait in the water. Some men don’t care. Some men started off innocent but lost their good intentions along the way. Kind of like a politician.***This really can be unintentional. It’s a vicious circle..remember? The vicious circle I’m referring to implies that no one knows where the fault began but ALL involved are creating it so round and round we go. Are you dizzy yet?***  I have a secret!

Print

The only way to STOP a vicious circle (I really can’t spell that word right-every single time I write it, I get the ugly red squiggly underline. Thank goodness for spell-check yo) As I was saying, the only way to stop the err..circle is to stop participating in it regardless of the outcome. STOP. It’s so stupid easy. You have to let go of the fact that someone else may be doing it. If he/she is, stop talking to them and move on…I promise you that the only way to change any pattern is to try a new one. So that’s my secret..but I still want to give some ladies my humble advice.

Don’t be one of those women that thinks because she is pretty its okay to make a man do all the work. I used to be one of those women. So please don’t be offended if this is you. Let me give you some examples:

  • Putting up your online dating profile and expecting men to ALWAYS initiate contact and keep the conversation going – If you do this and you’re happy ROCK ON! If you do this and notice you only attract one type of guy and it’s not the kind you want, try something different.
  • Always expecting the man to call you – I get that you want to know they’re interested. They SHOULD call first sometimes. Honey they should make you feel like there was never a woman before you BUT…men need to know you care too.  Men need that too.
  • Always expect the man to ask you out – I am not saying a man should not take the lead. I am a big old-fashioned girl mixed with a strong independent woman. I get it but..how would you feel if the only time you got to see your significant other is when you asked. I would not feel good about it. Take turns..that’s all I got to say about that.
  • Making a man make ALL the first moves. Who says you can’t kiss first? Who says you have to? The key here is there are no rules.

I know there are many more examples I could give but I just wanted everyone to catch my drift.  My moral for the day? Ladies: If you are always getting the same results..try something different. Think about how you would feel if the roles were reversed. Follow that sage advice that we were most likely taught as children: Do unto others as you would have done to yourself..or something like that. I have no breeding but you know what I mean!  Stop with the attitude that I am pretty and a man should do all the work. You ARE beautiful and deserve the best. Set your boundaries, and be picky as hell on who you decide to invest in but treat the worthy man as you want to be treated.  This advice is only for women who can relate. Break the vicious circle by behaving differently. Do it for science.

Until Next Time..Ciao!

August 12, 2013 Posted by | Personal Growth, Uncategorized, Women Advice | , , , , , , , , , | Leave a comment

The Marrying Kind

For some reason men I date ALWAYS pop back up. I don’t know why. It may happen to lots of women but I can only account for me. Today a man I went on a few dates with asked me if I was married yet. Um…I went out with him a few times about 6 months ago. How fast does homeboy think I move? It took me foooooorrrreeeevvvverrrr to even meet a guy that made it beyond 4 dates. Ha! (That’s another story though.) For obvious reasons, I asked the man why. (The truth is, I wouldn’t have answered my cell at all if I knew it was him because there was nothing to say and I am dating someone exclusively….but I did so I was stuck..doh!) 

This man told me I was the Marrying Kind.

wedding couple-kids

Hmmmmm…That’s just effin HILARIOUS to me considering he does not really know me. The statement just seemed awfully bold and presumptuous.  Obviously, I asked him what he meant.  Homeboy (yeah I’m just gonna call him that mmkay) told me I seemed like the kind of woman who men who want to be married propose to. This doesn’t offend me. (Psst: I DO really want to be married someday if the man’s right for me and as long as it’s for the right reasons…but um who is he to tell me this-ya know?) I replied like anyone who knows me would. I said, “Well thanks.”  BUT Homeboy couldn’t leave it at that. Oh no! Homeboy proceeded to tell me that’s why he didn’t want to date me any longer. (Yeah I was the one that told him we weren’t right for each other so now I’m literally placing my finger on my mouth to stop myself from saying something mean-spirited.) So I did what any mature woman my age would do. I said, “nuh uh, I told you we weren’t looking for the same things…remember?” To which he replied, “Who stopped seeing who doesn’t matter. I’ve been thinking about it and I am no longer opposed to being married. I am done with  having fun with Vegas women and want something solid.” I quickly replied, “And I wish you the best of luck in finding it.” BOOM GOES THE DYNAMITE! I said it quickly. I said it sarcastically. By Golly, I said it with the level of neutrality it takes to pull a comment like that off.  Sometimes I’m so mature.

He stuttered, and as he stammered, I snickered. I mean you just can’t make stuff like this up. This is real life comedy at its finest hour. I would have LOVED to have seen his face. What type of arrogance do you think a man like that must have? Homeboy could only respond with, “Well I saw a Taekwondo commercial the other day and it made me think of you.” (For the record I don’t think I’ve ever seen a TKD commercial..but I will let homeboy have this one..heehee) I replied, “I appreciate your thoughts but I am seeing someone and I do not think it’s appropriate for you to call.” DOUBLE TRIPLE BOOM! I was offended and bemusedly shocked. ( I am sooooo proud of myself for finding a proper place to use the word bemusedly. Go Clark County education!)  I maintained a demeanor of full blown Ice Queen mode and I think he got off the phone with that damn arrogance knocked down just a little bit. Some.Peoples.Children.

My conclusion to this hilarious event is that I felt both insulted and complimented. The insulting feelings stemmed from the fact he felt I would give him the time of day now that he wanted a serious relationship. As if dude!  However I got to admit there are worse things to be called than the Marrying Kind. I am a good woman. I just won’t be “his” woman. Ha! So what’s my moral??

If you are single (male or female) do not approach the former dates that perhaps didn’t make the first cut and ask them out again. It’s waaaay lame. (I also thought it was obvious but guess not.) If you are approached by this type of comeback line or ANY variation of it (male or female) RUN! You don’t need to settle for this. Remember if you don’t place a high value on yourself, no one else will either.

Until next time…Ciao!

July 16, 2013 Posted by | Dating Advice, Personal Growth | , , , , , , , , , , , , | 2 Comments

Qualities of a Male Player: The 5 most common signs

Oh Mr. Player…I GOT YOUR NUMBER! In fact, I am confident that I can spot a player and be right almost every time. It’s all about patterns of behavior. He may be a dumb ass  guy or a smooth operator, but a male player will always demonstrate some common symptoms. It is amazing. I have compared the list below against several case studies (besides my own personal experiences in the past) and the results are consistent. Players really do have specific characteristics.

*****While players ALWAYS do what I am about to mention. that does not mean ONLY players do these things. I mean there are extenuating circumstances for everything. Don’t go breaking up with your boyfriend over one symptom (Keep calm and follow me all the way through this-will ya?)*****

david_beckham

(Is that David Beckham? Yeah it is!)

PLAYERS WILL ALWAYS:

  1. Come up with grandiose lines like: “I didn’t know women like you existed.” Then he will disappear for a significant amount of time. (He’s baited you and now he’s giving you time to crave him. Eeeeew A-Hole)
  2. Repeatedly tell you how he is not about playing games. (A male player is always trying to “play” with your head. Look at his actions not his words. Is he really into you or are you just being spoon fed his BS like it was Hagen Daz?)
  3. Pursue you harder the more you resist. He will be patient and persistent if you push away. (A player loves a challenge. DO NOT think that just because he keeps trying that he cares. Why did you push him away? Be careful here-he may care or he may be playing. If this is the only sign I suggest you keep an open mind and observe. If he stops communicating or calling once he gets what he wants or once you start showing interest-RUN! Oh and quit pushing while you’re at it cuz it’s dumb..just sayin..)
  4. Make you feel very important while investing as little time as possible with you in order to get what they seek-money, sex, car rides-who knows? (Why? Because they don’t care honey…I’m sorry but it’s true. Think about the last man who loved you or that genuinely cared about you. Did that man always try to get time with you? Don’t you like to spend time with someone you are interested in? I am not saying ALL the time but when you are into someone, you make an effort. Every man who has really liked me has made me feel this way. If they do not, I follow my own advice and stop responding. They are either playing me or not that into me. So I move on sister. We are strong women and we don’t need that crap.)
  5. Come back! A player always comes back. It is freaking hilarious! (I have had 5 of them circle back in the last 3 months. When you blow off a player, they will contact you again. It highly amuses me. In fact,  my only really painful experience from a player was a guy I got very caught up in for about three months. Um I didn’t love him but I was really digging him. That fool played me so hard-core and then just blew me off. SO I flew off the handle at him. I mean I told him off hoodrat style. It was like he fed on this. He kept coming back. Then I blew him of for real. I stopped responding. Mr. Player moved on to his next victim. My girlfriend (who is a player herself..heehee) told me that he will be back. I argued that he would not be back. He contacted me last week. UN  FREAKING BELIEVABLE!!! In his case, he saw me out on a date and felt the need to contact me to see how I was. Yeah I am just fine dipstick..I didn’t even skip a beat in telling him how happy I was.  Double Triple Dog Eeeeewwww!) I challenge you on this one. How many players have circled back on you? Do you think they suddenly missed you. Uh no-they just got bored sweetie. Please trust me on this.

My advice?

LADIES: Please do not let one sign I listed make you freak out. Consider the actions of the man. I say it all the time. When a man wants you, he will make it known.

MEN: Look, I am not a male hater. In fact I am raising two men. However, I can’t count the times I have shed tears over a man misleading me. During the course of being single, I have been so upset, shocked and used by men that I have almost given up entirely.  If you are a player, I am not judging but please consider what you are doing. Women are strong. However, sometimes our strength lies in our gentle nature. Don’t hurt us. Would you want your daughter treated that way? Besides, if you ever want a meaningful relationship you are gonna need to knock it off yo. There is nothing more pathetic than a washed up player. 

Until next time…Ciao!

June 13, 2013 Posted by | Players, Relationships, Uncategorized | , , , , , , , | 2 Comments

What You MEANT Doesn’t Matter..derr

At what point are we accountable for our own actions? I get bad actions as the result of trauma or issues. I was married to an alcoholic for 13 years and my mother is a drug addict. I am compassionate to the fact that I understand it’s an illness. Some people argue that it’s not. I watched a good man battle demons he could not control. I watched him become someone he secretly despised which just fed the disease. BUT at what point does that excuse people from their actions? I may get some angry emails from this but I’m sorry it doesn’t matter. Man is defined by his actions. I just don’t care about the disease or the why. I only care about the selfish actions. I only care about the results. For example: You may be an alcoholic but at what point is it your fault for tormenting people in a drunken rage? The first time? The second? The 100th? I believe in forgiveness but I also believe in not allowing someone to continuously hurt me on the grounds that they didn’t mean to. So someone’s been hurt or has an addiction and is now treating others poorly. Why should he/she get a pass? I have no free pass. Why should you? In my humble opinion, the only people who get a pass are children. However, once they grow up they are also accountable for their actions. We are accountable. I could apply this to so many aspects of life. I worry about a society that thinks it can justify anything with, “he had a terrible home life.” Give me a break. No one better ever use that on me. I have had things happen to me too. I only mention it because if you are scarred that’s okay. We all have scars. I have a scar literally on my face to remind me of my childhood. It’s okay to have a history. I am not judging that.  It’s okay.

What’s NOT okay is to justify actions on the grounds of he/she didn’t mean it. I am not saying don’t forgive. It’s not about that. Forgiveness is divine. I suppose boundaries apply here.  I have seen girlfriends of mine hurt over and over because her husband doesn’t mean to do it. I have seen men cheated on over and over because they believed deep down the woman is good. I have been hurt because he didn’t mean to do it. I may not mean to do something once…but if I am repeatedly hurting someone it doesn’t matter why it only matters that I am. So like um is there a point? (yes there is) but I’m gonna be blunt about it because that’s the mood I’m in….

Ladies: Please quit trying to change some guy you’re with because he doesn’t mean to do the things he did. I can’t stress this next part enough: it doesn’t matter if he is really a good man inside. What are his actions? If he’s acting like a douche he is one. “A man is the sum of his actions…” by Gandhi, Mahatma.

Gentleman: Stop trying to turn a bad woman into a good one. Do not let yourself be fooled with drama queens (they come in all types of packages.)  “You can’t turn no hoe into no housewife.” by Ludacris

Boom goes the dynamite.

Until next time..Ciao!

May 14, 2013 Posted by | Mistakes, Personal Growth | , , , , , , , , , , | 4 Comments

Don’t Borrow Trouble – 5 things Women Do that Blow a Relationship!

My Grandmother was an amazing woman with great phrases. One of her most common was “Don’t borrow trouble.” I never understood that until I became a grown up. It is probably the best advice ever. Why should we worry about things that have yet to happen? I constantly see women doing this. (Maybe men do too but I’m not a member of that particular club.) I think a lot – not all – but a lot of women over-analyze things and make small issues or dare I even say non-issues a big deal. Why? Because we’re borrowing trouble-derr. I like to be useful..it’s kinda in my nature.  So on that note, I’ve created a list of what we should NOT do to borrow trouble while in a relationship.

  1. Fish around your new boyfriends Facebook page. I’ve done it, you’ve done it, heck we’ve all done it! I DO NOT do it NO MORE. I will tell you why. Suppose you see someone comments on his pictures all the time (by someone I mean another female)…who is this woman? is she cuter than me? Then you go to her page and on and on and on. The truth is she may just be his best friends sister or his Dental Hygienist  I mean you don’t know and now you’ve created doubt in your mind. What for? You my friend just borrowed trouble.
  2. If you met him online DO NOT look up his online profile once you start dating exclusively. I used to do this. It is dangerous. First of all, you look it up and then you see he logged on yesterday. WTF? Now you’re mad but…maybe he went on to see if YOU logged on. Now he checked again and sees that you have logged on and the vicious circle begins. No one wants to admit they did it so it’s like this big online dating elephant in the room. 2008-11-03-Elephant-In-The-RoomThe last guy I dated online for more than three dates did this and I FLEW off the handle. By this I mean I dumped him. I don’t care because he was not the one for me but it was awfully stupid and dramatic. I feel stupid just admitting it but change is all about facing your flaws! So I can honestly say I have been dating the same man for a little while now and I have not once looked him up. I have been tempted but here’s the thing: If he is going to stop seeing me for someone else it wasn’t meant to be. If he is dating multiple women, I will know it. It is very easy to tell when you do not have a man’s full attention. If I lose his attention then he wasn’t right for me and I will move on. (after I curse him out and TP his car..but that’s another story. hee hee I’m kidding..really I am.) I mean what do I care if he logs on? I am not logging on and that’s all that matters. Click here to see my rules..remember?
  3. Ask for too many details on former girlfriends. Oh now you did it girl! Now you just discovered that his ex was a former gymnast and model who currently plays the body double for Angelina Jolie. Did you just borrow some trouble? … mmmhmm you did … Why would we do that? I am interested in my man’s past but I don’t need to know his exes bra cup size any more than he needs to know my exes penis size. (OHHHH SNAP! Goodie Sara went there.) It’s the truth and I calls it likes I sees it.
  4. Don’t push the guy you are dating for a label or to define the relationship. Yes at some point “the talk” needs to happen. However, if we are all grown ups, why do you need to know if he is your “boyfriend” or not. In fact, I feel kinda dumb even saying I have a boyfriend at 33. It sounds so juvenile. (I’ve never pushed for a title but I really don’t have as much experience dating as other women my age. I can tell you I never will. I don’t serial date or play games “if you are a woman getting played-you gotta click https://howtodateinlv.wordpress.com/2013/02/12/its-not-playing-its-dating-practical-dating-advice/ and read this-it will help” and I LOVE the freedom of that!) I will say I’ve seen my friends do it and it will slowly drive them crazy.  Why? Cuz they are borrowing trouble dude.
  5. In addition to number 4, you should never push your man for a commitment. The man I married didn’t need pushing..course that was a disaster but it’s besides the point. I am guilty of this. I am guilty of thinking if a man says he wants to spend the rest of his life with me it means he wants to marry me. It may mean he wants the status quo. I will NEVER push or inquire about marriage again. (Um no I didn’t ask him to marry me but I kept bringing it up. ) The results I got were not positive. Here is my suggestion to that: At the onset of a relationship, the discussion of what you want long-term usually comes up and I recommend……honesty! Then there are no mixed feelings later. If you change your mind down the road, you may need to be prepared for the relationship to be over. Do not do what I did. I tried pushing, I tried guilting, I tried all kinds of stuff. Then I realized I didn’t even want to marry him. Why in the world would I ever want to marry someone who didn’t ask me out of desire to spend his life with me? If a man wants you, he will make it known. Ooops..lesson learned. Try to learn from my mistake. I will not repeat that one.

As a bonus..definitely don’t ever do this!

crazy-women-bizarre-21

Guess I’ve made my point! My moral for the day? Ladies, let’s not borrow trouble. I know it’s hard but instead of letting your suspicious or analytical mind go crazy, try looking at the man’s actions. Are you getting the attention you need? Is he distracted? I promise you, men aren’t very complicated. (I love men-I’m not hating) When they care, you will know. Until next time…Ciao!

April 26, 2013 Posted by | Women Advice | , , , , , , , , , | 4 Comments