Single in Sin City

A good girls survival guide to dating in Las Vegas

Build ‘Em Up

beautifulI think a lot of people spend time pointing out the flaws in a person. It is a very easy thing to do. We are so quick to focus on what someone doesn’t do in our relationships. She doesn’t say this enough. He doesn’t do this enough. Some of us speak our thoughts out loud. Some of us do not. I guarantee you that thinking this way only leads to disappointment and poor relationships.

If you are always treating someone like they are lacking, they are always going to come up short. This will lead to that person always feeling inadequate and will create a sure path to destruction in your relationship. Maybe you just don’t comment on anything? That can be okay…..but….it is so much better if you “build up a person.” (DISCLAIMER: This doesn’t mean you are responsible for repairing a person’s entire sense of confidence. There is a fine line here. I am only referring to ensuring their confidence in how YOU feel about them.) So what’s the answer? I’m going to keep this simple.

Today’s Moral: If you want your partner to feel good about your relationship…freaking tell them what you think of them…um the good stuff. Focus on the things you really like about them. For example, if you think your girlfriend is an amazing kisser…tell her! Tell her often. You will be amazed what happens when a man/woman is very secure in your feelings for them. I know for a fact that a woman will blossom when she feels confident in your desire for her. Try it…for science.

Compliments

Until Next Time….Ciao!

June 28, 2014 Posted by | Relationships, Uncategorized | , , , , , , , , , , , | Leave a comment

You’re Probably being Played If…..

We’ve all wondered if it was happening to us. Well…maybe not you. If you’re one of the fortunate ones….good for you! However, most of us have. I have sat around and speculated that someone really liked me. He um…just didn’t know how to tell me. Maybe he is afraid of being hurt? Maybe he is scared by his feelings? Maybe he needs space? Maybe he really is a top-secret spy that can only call me on Friday nights because of his job? Um….yeah…maybe? So what’s the secret?

The secret is ACTIONS! OOps! Guess it’s not a secret anymore.  In an effort to be useful (yes some of these..heck MOST of these I have written about before but I seem to get LOTS of questions about players.) Anyways, in an effort to be useful, I have a bunch of examples below.

  • You might be getting played if the guy/girl will never introduce you to his/her friends
  • You are definitely getting played (or at least not considered a “serious potential dating partner” if you bump into his/her friends and you do not get introduced. (Please do not take this. If you feel hurt by it it’s because….you should. I’m sorry if that hurts. Find someone who deserves you.However if you don’t care, rock on with your bad self!)
  • You are probably getting played if he/she only calls you on Friday/Saturday..or whatever day. (If they are interested, it’s not just about that once a week hook-up call.)
  • You are probably getting played if you have been seeing the man/woman for a consistent amount of time and you have never been invited to his/her house. (DANGER DANGER..it is quite possible they are married/shacking….don’t blow a gasket…I said possible.)
  • You’re probably being played if you do not know what he/she does for a living….after like the first date!
  • You’re probably being played if you always meet up at random, last-minute requests. (Not only that, but I find that rude.)
  • You’re probably being played if your interest is not being reciprocated. (If you are giving WAY more that you are receiving, it’s time to check in with your brain and think about the relationship logically. This sucks..I know.)

There are so many more examples I could write. I would honestly love to hear any other opinions. Playing with someone’s feelings is messed up yo! I prefer to keep my advice simple…

Moral: If the actions of your love interest are questionable…take a moment to think about it. It hurts to have your feelings played with. Keep your head up and leave yourself open for someone who will adore you….I know they’re right around the corner.

Until Next Time…Ciao!

 

June 12, 2014 Posted by | Dating Advice, Uncategorized | , , , , , , , , , , , | Leave a comment

7 Things You Don’t Tell Your Significant Other

stupid things

Has your S.O. (psst: That’s short for Significant Other) ever opened his/her mouth and you wished you could shove a sock in it? Or even worse…..Have you ever watched the expression on your loved one’s face shatter as you cram your entire foot in your mouth? Then, once you said something incredibly insensitive, you just kept digging the hole deeper? I have. If you have never said something stupid you must be one of those perfect people and you really should teach…cuz I know LOTS of people who need the lessons (like um me.) Unfortunately,  I do not know of this perfect person…so…I wrote a list!

  1. Do not tell your S.O that you are very attracted to a certain “type” of person that does not match them. (It just isn’t a good idea people. You’ve instantly made someone insecure about his/her desirability ((I have no idea if that’s even a word yo..but I checked and it is!))
  2. Do not tell your S.O that you can’t see them anymore because your ex called you back. (Look some things need to be left out.  Things like that can be very damaging to the ego and NO I have not been told that but I’ve witnessed it.)
  3. Never EVER tell your S.O they look fat (I am especially giving this advice to the men. Even confident women might have to work on getting over that)
  4. Never EVVVVVVERRRRRR talk about the pleasurable sex life you had with your ex. (Some things are OFF limits. Why in the world would that even be mentioned? It’s really simple…stay focused on complimenting the sex life you currently have before it becomes your past as well. Derr)
  5. Do not tell your S.O that you want to be married some day but not to them. (Even if it’s the truth..leave it out. It’s hurtful and I am guilty…although it was the truth.)
  6. Do not attack your S.O’s moral character. (DISCLAIMER: If you are on your way out the door forever..perhaps a little truth-telling might be good. However, if you are planning on working it out, please remember this is the kind of stuff that sticks with a person.)
  7. Do not call names. (It’s just not cool. I used to do this in the early stages of my marriage. Although many of the names were true, it’s not nice or productive. I’ve also been on the receiving end of some of the vilest names you can call a woman..by someone who claimed to love me. It hurts.)

Today’s Advice: Words hurt. People like to say sticks and stones may break my bones…blah blah blah. The truth is that most damage is caused by what we say out of spite or stupidity. If you love your S.O. focus on building them up. (post on that coming.) Think through what you are saying. Please trust me on this..focus on the good. It says that in the bible you know. (I’m not trying to get preachy but…) It’s the truth.  Also, if your S.O. messes up forgive him/her if it was unintentional. (I personally stay away from people who say mean things from spite.) If it was stupid…forgive. Writing this out helped me remember that too. Even if you are not Christian, my favorite book in the bible has a lot of valuable lessons on love. I will leave you with my favorite.

1 Corinthians 13:4-12

Love is patient and kind; love does not envy or boast; it is not arrogant or rude. It does not insist on its own way; it is not irritable or resentful; it does not rejoice at wrongdoing, but rejoices with the truth. Love bears all things, believes all things, hopes all things, endures all things. Love never ends.

Until Next Time..Ciao!

 

April 3, 2014 Posted by | Personal Growth, Relationships, Uncategorized | , , , , , , , , , , , , | 2 Comments

Date Gone Bad!!!

Sara,

What do you do when your date totally embarrasses you?  I recently went out with this woman who I met online.  Our first “coffee date” was pretty cool and I thought she was really nice. On our second date we went to dinner at a very nice restaurant. She ordered a salad.  When the  waitress brought it out my date came completely unglued!  She totally freaked out saying this salad doesn’t look the same as the salad she had last time she was there. What was the matter with it!  She gave the waitress a really hard time and demanded to see the manager.  The waitress and the manager were doing everything possible to make her happy, they brought her another salad they gave her a bunch of extra stuff, they apologized profusely but nothing would make her happy she complained during the entire dinner.  In the meantime I was so embarrassed I didn’t know what to do. Her salad looked fine to me, but she was throwing a fit. We finished eating and she took everything she could off the table and put it in her purse.  I was so embarrassed I left the server a 50% tip and we left.

I thought maybe this was just a one-time thing and so we went out again the next week.   We went to another really nice restaurant and she threw another fit!  She had to call in the manager and complain about one of the servers it was so embarrassing I wanted to crawl under the table.  Needless to say I am not calling this woman back and truthfully, I hope I never see her again. 

 What should a guy do when his date is embarrassing him like crazy?

 

Wowsers! I am sorry to say I laughed pretty hard at the imagery of someone stealing everything off the table. I think the question posed to me is, “What do you do in this type of situation?”

Advice: Well honestly Anonymous, I would not go on another date with that person! Also, if a date ever steals things off the table, then you should probably not ask her out again. (just sayin..) Although, I think that is “hindsight is 20/20″ type of advice. My real advice is if you are ever in that type of awkward, bad vibe, geesh this date is cray cray type of scenario again….end it. I literally would say something like this,”I can tell you are having a rough night and this is not my idea of appropriate behaviour. Thank you for meeting me but this is not what I am looking for.” (I promise you I have actually said something along those lines before during a bad date.) You see most people don’t handle things that way so they are shocked by it. If you say it firmly, politely, and in a manner that leaves no room for argument..I guarantee you will catch them off guard enough to make an exit. I left a bad date with his jaw wide open in a similar manner in the middle of dinner. He called me to apologize but really…..you just can’t put the toothpaste back in the tube. (I’m full of useless clichés tonight!) You can choose to not tolerate that type of behavior and tell the bad date that and RUN or…………You can always go the bathroom and not come back. I prefer directness BUT the choice is up to you!

Until Next Time….Ciao!

March 28, 2014 Posted by | First Dates, Uncategorized | , , , , , , , , , , , , , , | 4 Comments

Needing Love

One of the sweetest women I have ever known in my entire life killed herself recently.  She was bubbly, friendly and no one saw it coming. What no one realized is how miserable she was. My dear friend always desperately wanted acceptance and the love of a man.  As a result, she didn’t always qualify the men or have great standards.  Men did not treat her the way she deserved. How anyone could not see the beauty that resided in her soul and cherish it is beyond me. That woman exhibited pure joy since she was 9.  She left behind four children.

This inspired me to contemplate what it means to need love. Actually, to need love so badly that you would die over it. (yeah..I’m going all deep tonight but it’s my blog yo.) As a little girl, I dreamed of a husband and lots of kids and growing old with someone.  Truth be told, I jumped right at it by marrying my high school sweetheart. Somewhere into the third year of my 13 year marriage, I realized that the idea of that is silly. Marriage is compromise. Marriage is hard work. Sometimes, that love is not reciprocated. I actually resigned myself into pretending and while I loved that man until the day he died, I was not in love with him for a good ten years of my marriage. I still had a family unit and if I worked hard enough, was responsible enough and strong enough…it would all work out. Okay…epic fail there. I blew that one big time. Why do I even bring it up?

I mention it because I didn’t get my dream either. I refuse to dwell on its absence. I really really wanted that damn simple dream of a family that I had as a little girl it but heck..I can’t change that. I will not spend my life upset over it when I have so much to be grateful for. All my friend wanted was a level of commitment and love and she just went miserable when she couldn’t find it. The absence of that was a constant pressure in her life.  You must accept who and where you are in life regardless of where you wish you were. That’s hard advice to follow…but I try.

Moral: I have several tonight.

1. I think the key is choosing to be happy with what you have. Not yearning for what you don’t have. I think dwelling on the absence of love/money/marriage/whatever in your life leads to bitterness.

2. Love can’t fix you. The void has to be filled before anything healthy can enter your life. I can’t stress that enough. Work on being the best you possible and then love will come.

3. Please do not seek a permanent solution to a temporary situation. There is nothing in life that is so horribly permanent that you should choose death. EVERYTHING is temporary. When I look back at every dark spot in my life, it has always passed. Life is beautiful and tragic at the same time with points of brilliant light and bleak darkness intertwined throughout. Some days just focus on breathing and other days we will remember why life is such a precious gift. The clock is still running. Stay in the game…please.

RIP my sweet childhood friend.

Until Next Time…Ciao

February 25, 2014 Posted by | grief, Personal Growth, Uncategorized | , , , , , , , , , , , | 6 Comments

It’s Too Freaking Soon!!

I have a friend that recently called off his engagement. By recently I mean like three months ago. In that time frame he has been rapidly dating. He has been serial dating. I am not judging him for this. Although I do think he is in a dangerous state of mind to be dating, that is his business. What I do think is unhealthy is how fast he has been introducing these women to his daughters.

My friend has two daughters and what we share in common is the fact that they lost their mother in 2012 just like my sons lost their father. If you do not know the pain and struggles involved with trying to fill in a whole you can’t possibly fill for your children, I am very grateful. I would never wish that fate on anyone. On my better days, I just feel inadequate. During a tough day, I am lost and helpless and just try to keep a smile on my face. However….I am derailing. I share this because these kids are in a different spot than most. They have lost something vital in their lives at an age where it is very difficult to cope. The last thing any of them need is to get overly attached. It is for this reason that I am so concerned about him and his awesome daughters.

In the last three weeks, the girls have met four different women. One woman that he has dated more regularly than the others has been spending a LOT of time with them.  The night he told me they all had family dinner and put up the Christmas tree together I felt shocked. I was compelled to say something. I knew it had to be gentle and non condemning.   I planned out what to say carefully. I care about him and his daughters. He has only known this woman for three weeks BUT he may care about her. However, before I could say something, he called me panicked to tell me the woman said she loved him! She loves him in three weeks? REALLLLLLLLLLY?????? “What did you say to her in response,” I queried. “I told her it was way too soon to say that,” he answered.  HOLY BETSY SCHMUCKERS! What is homegirl thinking?

I gently said, “I think you should slow this down. Don’t you think she has been spending a lot of time with the girls and getting really attached?” He replied, “Yes I do.” I asked him, “Why can’t you just date and get to know her? Maybe you should leave the family time out until you’re sure.” He said,”That sounds like a good idea.”  So at least I said something. His life is his to live. I felt much better after at least voicing my concern. I am only concerned because I can relate so well. The girls need a positive female role model in their lives. I get it. I would give almost anything to give my sons a father figure. BUT…I need my kids to see me making good decisions too. I can’t run the risk of them LOSING another father figure. I can’t just go out to the store and buy one. If I could, trust me, I would in a heartbeat. Life doesn’t work that way. Life isn’t very fair-even to kids who deserve better. Those girls deserved a better hand of cards than what was dealt to them BUT they do have a parent that loves them dearly. That’s more than I had.

Moral for today? I’m going to make this short and sweet. If you are a single parent…be careful with who you let into your children’s life. Oh and before I forget….If someone you have been seeing for only three weeks professes to be madly in love with you and it is not love at first sight with you too…run! That’s the kind of obsession that can become dangerous.Kind of cray cray like homegirl below…just sayin! 

obsessive women

Until Next Time…Be careful and Ciao!

 

December 21, 2013 Posted by | Dating Advice, Relationships, Single Parents, Uncategorized | , , , , , , , , , , , | 1 Comment

Should I Marry Her?

Marriage is a significant decision. I view offering advice about it very seriously. I have shortened the email below and I am sharing with permission. I treat all relationship advice I offer with the utmost respect. However, this one made me think more than most.

Dear Sara,

I’ve been dating a woman for a little over a year now. I asked her to marry me on our one year anniversary. We get along great. She is good to me. However, we do argue sometimes. Sometimes, things could be better and I worry about our future. When we argue it is over spending time together or perhaps I forgot to say something. The fights can be her fault sometimes too. I don’t know if disagreements are acceptable or if we might make a huge mistake. …..Do you think I should marry her?

Sincerely,

Anonymous

WOW! I cut some of it out because it was long but the gist of it is things are not perfect. I can’t tell anyone whether they should marry or not. What an important decision. I think relationships often fail  because both parties aren’t willing to put in the work. The truth is that (in my humble and oh so limited experience) you can have all the passion, love, and compatibility in the world but there will never be a perfect relationship.  There will always be times when someone gets on your nerves or hurts your feelings. The KEY is to not compromise what your basic needs are.  Examples of needs are:

Regular companionship

Sexual Needs

Honesty

Communication

Trust

Safety

There are more basic needs but all the above needs vary from person to person. Some people may need certain things more than others. However, you have to know yourself well enough to know what those needs are. If you communicate these needs and they are not met, the relationship is not strong. For the purpose of my opinion, let’s assume the needs are met…but sometimes things go wrong. Here’s my advice.

If you can look into her eyes and know that you are willing to stay and fight for her, you are with the right woman. If you can honestly say that you will stick around when things aren’t perfect and work through the issues then the decision is simple. If you are in it for the “long haul” then you should marry her. If there is doubt of that type of commitment, you should wait. The issue isn’t whether or not it is perfect. The real question to ask yourself is, do you want her through it all. The good stuff AND the bad stuff. If you have that level of commitment, this is a no brainer. Marry that woman and never let her go. Do not let fear stop you from committing.  I get it, it’s a big deal. However, there is no perfect. Only perfect for you.

marriage

Until Next Time…Ciao!

December 13, 2013 Posted by | Marriage, Uncategorized | , , , , , , , , , | 5 Comments

The Unintentional Player

Don’t hate the player, hate the game! No really, blame the player. However, sometimes a player doesn’t know they are playing. Just for fun, I googled “definition of a player.” Here is one of my favorite ones.

player
a guy who: 
(1) doesn’t understand the meaning of relationship 
(2) is in full reproductive mode 
(3) is very good at making girls think he is into them (also very proficient at breaking said girls hearts) 
(4) often “dates” several girls  (girls are often unaware of each other) 
(5) is an asshole!
don’t hate the player, hate the game? yeah right!
Here was another one. (I had to correct the grammar on these..just as a fyi)
player
A man or woman who hooks up with many different persons but commits to none and in that process ends up hurting some of those involved but there is a difference between player and asshole listed below as 1 and 2 and players generally being happy people until they are caught are opposites of the player hater who only hates because he can’t play or lost or has a girl who got her heart broke by one and is insecure
1 Male or female that has a lot of one night stands or short relationships with many people at once 2 Female or male who has several long-term aka ” i love you” relationships and tricks each into thinking she’s/he’s the one
I’m kinda shocked that 99% of the definitions refer to them as male. I have known some pretty crafty female players.  I have decided that I am going to create my own definition. Why not? It’s my blog yo!
Player
A man or woman who intentionally or unintentionally “plays” or misleads someone during the course of a relationship.
1. The male/female may know they are not looking for the same things but proceed to manipulate the other party for personal gain such as a. money b. sex c. convenience
2. The male/female may not realize they are not ready for a monogamous relationship yet attempt to develop one only to end up hurting the other party involved. This may be due to a. maturity level b. ignorance c. past baggage or emotional damage d. mental issues
Boom! I just wrote my own definition! Whose house???? Sara’s house!
Now that I am done tooting my own horn, I would like to quickly discuss unintentional players. The UP are possibly the most dangerous of all players. (yeah I am gonna use the acronym UP and for my slow friends…such as myself…this stands for Unintentional Player.) UP’s are dangerous because they are harder to spot. Why? UP’s are difficult to identify because they do not KNOW they are a player.  They have not reached a level of awareness in what they want. It’s one thing for someone to KNOW they are a player but to not know it is an entirely different issue. Before you even think of arguing, I challenge you to think of all the dumb people you know. Most of them do not realize it. ( At least I KNOW I’m stupid!) I wanted to write a list of things a UP does but I stopped. I stopped because the list looks the exact same way as what I’ve written about players. So here’s my advice.
Moral: Whether the person REALIZES they are playing with your feelings or not doesn’t matter. The point is that they are. I sympathize with UP’s because they have no level of self-awareness at all. They often flounder in relationships and do not even realize that the real problem is themselves. However, if a player wants to be a player…play on. Just don’t play with me! Ha!  I am not judging a player. However, my post and really my entire blog is to help people who want something real. I just caution everyone not to justify the actions of someone based on the fact that they don’t MEAN to.  Players don’t always know it. I guess that’s all I really have to say about that peeps.
Until next time….here’s a song…ciao!

November 23, 2013 Posted by | Players, Uncategorized | , , , , , , , , , , , | Leave a comment

The Art of Winning

Do you know anyone who just can’t lose? They CAN NOT give up on an argument. It may go something like this:

Person 1: I can’t believe you’re upset over the fact I said you were fat. I told you I think you’re great.

Person 2: Why would you think it’s not wrong to insult me?

Person 1: I just said you were bigger than you used to be. Why am I punished for being honest?

Person 2: I never asked for you to tell me what your thoughts were on my weight.

Person 1: This is ridiculous. I am wrong for being honest.

This one is kinda obvious. Big effin derr you should not comment on someone’s size. (No this did not happen to me.  If it had, I would be writing this post from Clark County Jail due to Assault and Battery charges. I happen to have a squeaky clean criminal record.) I am using it as an example only…and yes it is extreme and obvious.  Many people think the art of winning in any real relationship is to be right. We have all made mistakes.  Perhaps you did not mean to hurt someone’s feelings. Perhaps you messed up. Perhaps you are the one who was truly right. I challenge you to think the situation through before you push for victory.

  • Are you really winning if the other party still feels hurt?
  • Does it matter more to prove a point than it does to resolve the situation? (If it does…rock on..but if you are the type of person that can’t EVER be wrong, you need a reality check.)
  • How important is it? (It may BE important. When I am really on a mission, I use my infamous single track mind to reach success. Do not back down if it is vital. However, if it will not affect me in the long run, if it does not push past a boundary I have set, if the other person’s feelings or happiness matter more…I can relent. I can give. I do not need to win every battle. My pride is not an issue when it comes to matters of the heart or even in matters of business strategy.)
  • Have you thought about it through the other person’s perspective? (Are you using compassion? Are you being fair? Are you overlooking the persons perspective?)
  • Please remember “winning” isn’t everything. It is only important when the issue REALLY matters..ie:boundary.

argument need to be right

So let’s rework the earlier argument.

Person 1: I can’t believe you’re upset over the fact I said you were bigger. I told you I think you’re great.

Person 2: Why would you think it’s not wrong to call me a name?

Person 1: I just said you were bigger than you used to be. I know it was not right to say. I apologize. I don’t know what I was thinking when I chose those words. 

Person 2: I never asked for you to tell me what your thoughts were on my weight.

Person 1: I understand, I really do.

At this point the conversation should be over.It is not good for either party to continue. Let.It.Go. The worst thing you can do is continue to hold it  against someone. In fact, I used to be very guilty of this. I try very hard to no longer bring up a partner or friends past mistakes. What good does it do?  I have found it to be counterproductive. Is it right to continuously punish someone for a mistake? No it is not. The art of winning is not only that you don’t always have to win. The second part is that just because you were wronged doesn’t mean that you can place the victory in your artillery chest to pull out for later. DO NOT go down this path my friends. If you are always throwing stuff in your partners face they will get tired of it. They will feel like they can never redeem themselves. We are human and therefore we are flawed. Forgiveness can be its own form of winning. So… Let.It.Go. As a bonus, it’s also really good for you too!

Advice for today? Sometimes it is better to resolve the situation. A relationship isn’t a scorecard. I will reiterate that you need to have boundaries in place…but sometimes winning doesn’t mean you win. Sometimes, you need to show understanding, love and support more than proving a point. Also, if you are wronged in a relationship, forgive and forget once resolution has been achieved. If we were repeatedly punished for every mistake we ever made, life would be rough yo. As long as it has been resolved, let it go. Grab the pain/hurt/anger and throw it out with the trash….cuz that’s where it belongs.

Until Next Time….Ciao!

November 17, 2013 Posted by | Personal Growth, Relationships, Uncategorized | , , , , , , , , , , | Leave a comment

What’s Your Love Language?

5 love languages

We all interpret love through different ways. The 5 Love Languages by Gary Chapman is a must read if you are looking to expand that type of  knowledge.  For example, you could be with someone who needs words of affirmation and your normal method of expressing love is through gift giving.  This could lead to a hot mess if you’re not careful. Learning about the five love languages is an excellent way to discover how your significant other feels love and possibly improve your relationship through understanding. Below are the five languages the author refers to.

  1. Words of Affirmation
  2. Quality Time
  3. Receiving Gifts
  4. Acts of Service
  5. Physical Touch

I took the test and was not surprised by my primary love language (Acts of Service.) This means I feel most loved when people are helping me. This did not shock me. I feel loved when my significant other demonstrates acts of service. (Ironic that it has always been so hard for me to ASK for help..but that’s another story.)This could mean with a project, fixing a chair or helping me with errands. However, it doesn’t have to be a household repair. It can even be as simple as someone thinking of me first and remembering to include me. The key to making me feel loved (yes I am using me as an example in order to illustrate) is simple. However, if someone breaks a promise or doesn’t help or helps others but never me-I take it twice as hard as most people because it is my primary love language. If I need acts of service to feel loved and the reverse is given….I feel…drum roll please…..unloved. No amount of “I love you’s” will change that. I am enlightened enough to already know this about myself. Too many people can say they love you. I’m on the lookout for the ones who show it when it counts most.  Although, I was surprised by my secondary love  language-Quality Time.

I was shocked because it kind of shatters the illusion of my oh so independent nature. I have several hobbies and I work full-time and I am raising two children. However, when I think about it, I do feel loved when someone wants to spend time with me. The key for me is not quantity per se.  The key is QUALITY. I need focused attention…err sometimes.  This means when I feel ignored, I feel unloved. This also means when someone genuinely shows interest in my day/experience/life on a consistent basis, I feel loved. People who need quality time aren’t always about having every free moment with someone. It’s about that person taking the time to inquire about that person..to listen and to offer support. I am always irritated by someone who never bothers to ask me anything. How can I share my life with someone if they never SHOW me they care enough to ask? I immediately interpret it as a lack of interest and feel…..drum roll……unloved.  I scored the lowest on Gift Receiving. I like gifts! However, I do not need them to feel loved. Although, this is not to dismiss other people’s need for a gift to feel loved. Perhaps this person does not need something as serious as a new car (not everyone in this category is a gold digger.) Maybe that person needs a small token of being thought of-flowers, romantic card, etc.  Now HERE’S the tricky part in a relationship.

Moral: A relationship isn’t just about YOU or ME. (I know, I know…crazy right???) A real relationship is about the other person too. If you are in a relationship, try to think about what the OTHER person needs in order to feel loved. Do you love her/him? If so..make an effort to figure it out. Communication is not just about complaining, it is about talking and learning and discovering. Ask questions and do not assume you have them figured out. I guarantee you…you aint that smart..none of us are. These are the hard tasks of a healthy relationship. If the communication is successful, it is well worth the investment. To not care about the other partners needs is to create resentment and the eventual demise of the relationship. Trust me..been there, done that. 

****DISCLAIMER: This is all my humble opinion. If you think this is all a load of poop..okay. That’s your right. If you are in love with someone and facing challenges, I think it might be worth exploring.  What can it hurt? I’m not saying it’s the gospel truth. I am suggesting that it is worth reading. Take it for what it’s worth yo****

Until Next Time…I left the link to the authors website below. Check it out…maybe?  CIAO!

http://www.5lovelanguages.com/profile/singles/

October 23, 2013 Posted by | Love, Personal Growth, Relationships, Uncategorized | , , , , , , , , | Leave a comment