Single in Sin City

A good girls survival guide to dating in Las Vegas

No More Serial Dating I’m Waiting

Well..I am not saying I am boycotting dating. I still want to find some to spend my life with. BUT…I had an epiphany in church. Yes we have churches in Las Vegas. (I so know you were wondering.) I keep focusing on finding “the ONE.” Ironically, I really thought I found him but he turned out to not be “the ONE.” If he was “the ONE” I wouldn’t be writing this. Ooops-I am digressing again. The point is I have spent a lot of energy fearing I will be alone or even worse that I will have to continue to prowl the dating scene forever. In fact…my deepest darkest fear is that the only man that ever really wanted to share a life with me is now dead. But that’s another story entirely. Now where was I? Oh yeah, I was talking about my epiphany at church.

Google the word Epiphany for images and 99% of what you find will be about GOD. Kinda interesting to me..Just sayin..

epiphany

The series at my church is on relationships and the sermon was about Ruth. I can relate to Ruth. She took care of her Mother in Law after her husband died. She was WAY better than me. Ruth worked in the fields to keep food on the table and although she was young and described as pretty, she had an amazing character. She put her family’s needs above her own. (Meaning instead of trying to hook “the ONE” Ruth focused on what GOD expected of her.) What happened? God gave her a rich, nice, and caring husband.  I would honestly settle for a non-crazy one with a job that adored me-he doesn’t have to be rich. Now look-I am not trying to get all preachy on you. I am sharing what gave me my change of heart and what gave me comfort in being single. I do believe and I am not ashamed of that. I am just way too easy going to ever try to force my beliefs down someone else’s throat. However, when my ENTIRE world fell apart-**TWICE** my belief in GOD is what pulled me through. I am very grateful for that. In fact, I am not eloquent enough to do this justice. Let me try a different tactic.

I can’t find the one. There is no other half. 50% x 50% = .25%. You do the math. I need a partner but until then I need to live. I started becoming so obsessed with dating that I am no better than the players I complain about. Perhaps my blog should be titled “How to be Single in Las Vegas.”  But I am also WAAAAY to lazy to change it. Don’t get me wrong, I am still going to date. BUT…I am going to focus on other stuff first. Someone once told me about a woman who said she was married to Jesus. Now I am down with J.C. but when I heard that I was like, “Wow she’s not having any sex.” Yeah I know, that’s probably not nice. Ironically, I understand what she meant now. I am not saying I am married to J.C. but I am certainly not having any sex. (heeheeheehee) Sorry-sometimes I am very immature for my age. I think that woman meant that she is putting GOD’S needs first. I like that. It takes the pressure off of me. My lesson for today??? Dating is not a necessity. Being single does not make you a sub-class citizen. Yes we are pack animals by nature but focus on being the best YOU you can be. Keep trying but stop worrying. The rest will work itself out. Until next time…Ciao!

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January 28, 2013 Posted by | Mistakes, Relationships, Uncategorized | , , , , , , , | 8 Comments

Las Vegas Woman Sues Match.com

As a Las Vegas resident and native, this caught my eye. Mary Kay Beckman is suing Match.com for 10 million dollars after being attacked by a man that she dated for 8 days and then broke up with. The word attack doesn’t begin to describe the horror this woman went through.

WadeMitchellRidley  Wade Mitchell Ridley hid in her garage and viciously stabbed her over 10 times. When the knife broke he began to stomp on her head. It is a miracle she lived. In fact, Ridley thought he left her for dead. He was arrested not only for her attack but for killing his ex girlfriend in Phoenix in February of 2011. Ridley killed himself in prison last year. This is a tragic and devastating incident. It is a reminder of always being safe and a reminder that sometimes you never know a person. The lawsuit is for 10 million dollars and based on the fact that Match.com did not disclose the dangers of internet dating. So here’s my two cents…

How did he know where she lived? If they only knew each other for 8 days-how did he know? Perhaps he was a stalker. This guy had no criminal record, how is Match.com responsible? Isn’t it just as dangerous to meet some strange man at a bar? Where do we draw the line? Although I am tired of online dating, I do not feel anyone could have prevented this. I am so so so so sorry for what happened-but I do not think the lawsuit is justified.  I think the real moral here is…..to be as careful as possible while dating. The truth is…there is ALWAYS a danger. We do not know who we are letting into our lives…Once again I am sorry but if I had any advice for Las Vegas daters it would be to be careful and be prepared. Wonder what other’s thoughts are?

Until next time….Ciao

http://www.cbsnews.com/8301-201_162-57565665/las-vegas-woman-sues-match.com-after-scorned-date-tries-to-kill-her/

January 25, 2013 Posted by | Online Dating, Safety, Uncategorized | , , , , , | 9 Comments

Should I Call Him or Not???

I am beginning to think I am too distant during the initial stages of dating. Unfortunately, I have been on a lot of initial dates lately. Most of them have been jerks or creepers. Some of them have bored me to death. (No I’m not super picky but I need some personality because I like to laugh and have fun.) A couple of them might have been steady dating material. BUT…..I seem to lose them (I’m referring to the good ones-the boring ones and jerks/creepers ALWAYS call me back) after a few dates.  I do not usually call first and I only randomly text. But hey..I am a busy woman and I don’t really know them yet. So…I am probably too stand offish.

Why? Well one of them told me so.Then he told me he would like it if I called him. Then I blew it by not calling. I know what you’re thinking! “Geesh Sara why didn’t you call him?” I didn’t call him because I am an idiot-derr. Or maybe I just wasn’t that into him-lol! My point isn’t that specific guy anyways because I am not pining over him…but….I did start thinking about what he said. He described me as hard to read. So this might be a problem-eh? I recently heard a story about the opposite. (Which is why I even started thinking about this issue in the first place.)

A man I know was telling me about this woman he was dating. He went on three dates with her. He called me one day and was complaining about how often she called/text.GUESS how many times she was contacting him??? She was calling him 4 times a day and texting him at least 6 times a day. Who has effin time for that? That is excessive. Right? No wonder his reaction was one of annoyance. In return, he finally got fed up when she woke him up on a Saturday and he dumped her. Bless her heart. She spooked him off. Stalker

watching you

So it appears that other women do call the guys they are just starting to date more than I do. (Obviously too much is not good either.) Here’s my new self challenge to myself. The next guy I meet that I actually really like (unfortunately there have not been many) I will make an effort to be a little more interested-well to act a little more interested. Maybe the average Las Vegas male needs that? Moral for the day: It’s okay to let a man know you’re interested. However, please be sure you don’t become a bugaboo.

Until next time…Ciao

 

January 23, 2013 Posted by | First Dates, Mistakes, Uncategorized | , , , , | 23 Comments

He’s just not that into you

As I struggle to date in a city filled with shallow people and fake men (not all, just the ones I seem to attract), I’d like to share some insight I discovered while watching this movie. He’s Just Not That Into You  had me laughing my butt off. To keep it real-one part Gigi said stood out and really drove home a point I needed to hear….

Girls are taught a lot of stuff growing up. If a guy punches you he likes you. Never try to trim your own bangs and someday you will meet a wonderful guy and get your very own happy ending. Every movie we see, Every story we’re told implores us to wait for it, the third act twist, the unexpected declaration of love, the exception to the rule. But sometimes we’re so focused on finding our happy ending we don’t learn how to read the signs. How to tell from the ones who want us and the ones who don’t, the ones who will stay and the ones who will leave. And maybe a happy ending doesn’t include a guy, maybe… it’s you, on your own, picking up the pieces and starting over, freeing yourself up for something better in the future. Maybe the happy ending is… just… moving on. Or maybe the happy ending is this, knowing after all the unreturned phone calls, broken-hearts, through the blunders and misread signals, through all the pain and embarrassment you never gave up hope. http://www.imdb.com/title/tt1001508/quotes?qt=qt0517495

We are taught that! WHERE’S MY HAPPY ENDING??-right? It can’t possibly be on POF or OKCupid-can it?  I started thinking about happy endings. I am a big advocate of them. However, maybe in real life the happy ending doesn’t include two people living happily ever after. Maybe it really is the freedom to find something better. The entire discussion about “exceptions” also stood out.

Ok, Ok. Exhibit A. Chad the drummer who lived in a storage space. He only used me for rides and yet I continued to stalk him for most of 1998. Then oh, um, there was Don, that broke up with me every Friday so that he could have his weekends free. I was delusional about that relationship. I used to refer to him as my husband to random people, like my dental hygienist. Anyway, all my friends used to tell me about how things might work out with these dipsticks because they knew someone, who knew someone, who dated a dipstick just like mine. That girl ended up getting married and living happily ever after. That the exception and we’re not the exception we’re the rule. http://www.imdb.com/title/tt1001508/quotes?qt=qt0517682

The romantic side of me freely admits that I dream of being an exception. Although I am pretty awesome, I am realizing that I am almost certainly the rule. So maybe this means the man I waited on to want to commit wasn’t going to wake up and have a change of heart. I know I know-derr right? I am the rule. But noooo..I couldn’t learn this the easy way. I let him back in-against everyone’s advice. I mean he claimed to really love me, he knows I want a married life with someone I truly love. I truly loved him. What’s the big effin deal? I had a friend who left her boyfriend because he wouldn’t commit after two years and he missed her so much that he realized he must be with her forever and now they are married-so it could happen. REALITY check…that “friend” I am referring to is the exception. I am the rule. (If he doesn’t want to commit to you he aint ever gonna) I am the rule for him.  He’s just not that into me.  But man someday, someone might make me an exception-right?

Of all the things I contemplated during the movie it was:  If a man wants to be with you, he will make it happen-period. I am sooooo guilty of making excuses for someone. The truth is that guy was just not that into me. Shocking really cuz I think I rock! I understand some of you might be thinking, “Geesh Sara this is just a movie.” I know! The point isn’t that I am taking relationship advice from a movie. (Work with me people.) The moral behind that is perhaps we really do get so caught up in looking for a hidden meaning that we don’t read the signs correctly. I got so caught up in little, nice things this man did for me that I missed all the MAJOR signs that really should have seen before

I love men. I am not a hater of the opposite gender. I just think women (some not all) are notorious for over-analyzing men’s intentions. The reality check I just had: It’s really not that hard. If a man wants you, he will make it known. Oh Snap! I get it-I really do. Maybe I helped someone else too. I will never ever make the same mistake again. Don’t worry-I WILL make other mistakes.

Until next time…Ciao

January 20, 2013 Posted by | Mistakes, Relationships, Uncategorized, Women Advice | , , , , , , , , | 4 Comments

Versatile Blogger! THANK YOU!!!

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I am very honored to be nominated for the Versatile Blogger Award. What a SUPER community I recently had the privilege to become a part of. WOWSAS!!! Now if only I could find a steady boyfriend….oops I’m derailing again…

I’d like to thank vivaciousdeb at http://vivaciousdeb.com/ for nominating me and I highly recommend reading her blog. She’s a hoot! As far as the award goes…..Here are Da Rulz…

The Rules:

1. Display the Award Certificate on your website

2. Announce your win with a post and link to whoever presented your award

3. Present up to 15 awards to deserving bloggers

4. Drop them a comment to tip them off after you’ve linked them in the post

5. Post 7 interesting things about yourself

Here are some blogs I feel deserve this award:

The next part is to share 7 interesting things about myself. Okay please don’t laugh too hard.

  1. I am OCD about my food being in a particular order when I check out at the grocery store. I am VERY particular about it.
  2. I love rap music and can rap almost every song Tupac wrote. (don’t judge me I really really like rap music)
  3. I love peanut butter – I REALLY love peanut butter
  4. I cry at Shrek-every time. (um yes I know it ends happy and that’s why I cry. I love romantic endings)
  5. I sucked my thumb until I was 8. (I have no idea why I have such straight teeth-it’s like a fluke of nature.)
  6. I love Martial Arts and am currently working on getting my yellow belt in Taekwondo (I should have it next month and yeah I’m kinda a bad a&*-lol)
  7. When I was a kid I had an imaginary family. They were the Upsidedown Family and Sally was my age. (They lived in my laundry room.)

Thanks again Vivaciousdeb!!!!!

January 17, 2013 Posted by | Blogging Awards | , , , , | 8 Comments

DUDE….REALLY??? Online Dating Profiles that DON’T Work

Sometimes…just sometimes…I have to shake my head and bite my tongue. I have already posted about common online dating profile mistakes. Now I’m gonna vent. (Cuz I keeps it real yo.)

Here are some profile portions I have (err borrowed) for educational purposes. They are from all over so don’t worry about me exploiting anyone’s privacy. Also, if it is published on the internet it is up for public grab. (I checked-promise.)

  • I offur drama free companionship, good lessoner, relaxing conversations, romatic cubbling time, real heathly communication,Day by bay. I enjoy camping,reading, travelling,pool,bowling, movies: sci fi, druma, action, romance:twilight saga, Live music: Moroon5, Brono Mars, jazz & everything in between. Now on a personal note I’ve been dating on many different cites- I had gone throw alot of Trial and erras.

I am still trying to figure out what cubbling time is. I think it is cuddling-not sure-he may like clubs. It’s killing me and at the same time all I can think is. “Bless his lil heart.” Seriously…

  • I’m tired of all the whores in this town. If there are any real ladies in town. Hit me up

Way to ostracize every woman in town. Plus this is my HOME town so when you make fun of it, I take it personal. Only natives can talk about Las Vegas negatively. (everyone knows it..it’s like a rule dude.) Also the hit me up thing kills me. I mean coming from a man your age-really?

  • I am looking for a long term relationshep and sumeone I can be commited to. Also, to be upfront, I am living with my soon to be ex wife still

I can forgive the minor spelling errors. Even though they irk me. (That’s kinda my pet peeve-but I misspell too.) But…WHOA MAN!!! I appreciate your honesty. My only comment is maybe you shouldn’t be trying to date right now.

I always try to have a moral/lesson in my posts. This blog is designed as a guide. So there is a lesson here. Please use common sense when posting your profile. If you need help, email me! Just Sayin….

Until next time…..Ciao!

January 10, 2013 Posted by | Mistakes, Online Dating, Uncategorized | , , , , | 12 Comments

I’m in Love with a Texter

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Psst: I’m not REALLY in love with a texter but I wanted your attention! I am noticing a trend in this dating game that is starting to bother me. I have more guys texting me than I know what do with. AND…here’s the real kicker….I haven’t even met half of them! What the What????

In fact, if love were measured in text messages, I would be a very loved woman. The funny thing is that texting doesn’t provide the companionship I’m looking for. Also, I’ve text some of these guys so long that I am way to nervous to meet them in person. This is mainly because I’m a punk there has been so much build up I am afraid of discovering their true personalities. I mean it is easy to text and be anyone you want. (But once again I am digressing) I am not even bothered so much as annoyed.

I am annoyed by all the texts. I mean I don’t have time to TEXT ALL DA&* DAY!  I work man and I have kids and a life. If we are dating, I promise I will make time for you but I don’t have time for BS. Yes I appreciate a morning text and a goodnight text (um from someone I am DATING not random strangers.)  I only gave my cell number to the guy in the first place so we could meet. Why are you only texting me? What could I possibly have to say to you ALL day. How do I respond to messages like: “Hey Sexy.” Um “hi” is about all I got if there’s time in my hectic azz day to respond. Here’s some irony…if text messages were boyfriends I’d be a pimp but I’m STILL single. Oh dear…I’m getting off topic again. So here’s my advice for my fellow LV daters meeting people online (and all daters really.) Wait for it………………………………

  • Initial online contact made
  • Briefly chat online
  • Exchange numbers
  • Text ONLY long enough to set up a date
  • I recommend a simple meet and greet-coffee, etc.

BOOM goes the dynamite! It’s really simple. Until next time…Ciao!

January 10, 2013 Posted by | Online Dating, Relationships | , , , , , , , | 3 Comments

I Don’t Owe You NUTHIN!

I wasn’t going to blog about this but its been festering and boiling and out it comes….My New Year’s Eve was spent on a first date. Yeah I know what you’re thinking…Bold move…right? Well yes, I know it was but he was a seemingly nice guy. We had been talking on the phone for a while if it’s any consolation.

Okay, Okay,  I guess we were only talking on the phone for about a week but who’s counting right? He’s a somewhat successful and somewhat prominent man in town but I’m a lot like Shania Twain..”That don’t impress me much.” However, it’s certainly not a bad thing. Well, I am talking to him about the evening and he states would I be open to staying out all night. I tell him, “You mean like really late?”  He didn’t exactly answer me. (It just never dawns on me that he might mean something else. I promise it didn’t.) Then he told me he planned on getting a room because drinking was involved. (Once again, this makes sense to me because a DUI on his record will ruin his career.) AND…Just like that the date is scheduled.

We arrive at the designated meeting place and decide on eating Sushi. I love me some Sushi so  this isn’t a bad start. We get to the restaurant and he makes the waiter move us three times. In fact, the Manager actually came by to visit us and ensure we are okay. Naturally, we start drinking. At this point, I really kinda need a drink. After a couple of drinks, my dates ego starts to grow. In fact he implies certain things that are starting to make me wonder if this is the “real” person and the liquor is making him put his guard down. I love me an ego on a man too-almost as much as Sushi but I do not like people who feel entitled. Cuz really you’re not….

ImageMr. Date proceeds to let me know that he is a king and he only has the best. He implies that this is why he is spending the holiday with me. (what’s that I smell???? Oh you’re following me, I know you are…) He also lets me know he does nothing without a purpose and asks me, “Why are you here with me?” I reply with, “Um to get to know you.” He lets me know that is a bad answer….Uh Okay dude….we ring in the new year and this guy is pretty touchy feely. That’s okay too. I mean we are in a public place (so he can’t get out of hand) and it is New Year’s! 10, 9 ,8 ,7, 6, 5, 4, 3, 2, 1…HAPPY NEW YEAR!!!

As 2013 arrives, Mr. Date starts getting pushier and starts trying to convince me to go to his room. Well that……….AINT GONNA HAPPEN. I am not that type of girl. He keeps pushing and anyone who knows me knows I am one STUBBORN chica. I said no and I meant it! So there…Well he became offended. Not only offended but he never called me again. How rude – yet an almost predictable response.

WHAT EV ER

Since that night, I have been told that I should have expected it because it was New Year’s Eve. I guess I have to chalk it up to inexperience. To me a first date is a first date regardless of what day it falls on. AND I am NOT going to someone’s house/room on a first date. Derr…..

Moral: Always be prepared to stand up for your own unique set of values on a date. Always be prepared for the possibility of offending someone on a date. Always be prepared…

Until next time…Ciao!!!

January 5, 2013 Posted by | First Dates, Mistakes, Relationships | , , , , , , , | 5 Comments

Thank You and HAPPY NEW YEAR!!!

ImageI am so excited to receive my first Blog of The Year Award! I started this blog as a way to sort through my dating experiences and help people along the way.  I really appreciate Kitt Crescendo from theinnerwildkat.wordpress.com and all of her support. Her writing is original and just pure awesome sauce! Yep I say Awesome Sauce

Here are the rules for Blog Of The Year 2012 (Thankfully, they’re simple):

  1. Select another blog or other blogs who deserve the ‘Blog of the Year 2012’ Award;
  2. Write a blog post and tell us about the blog(s) you have chosen – there’s no minimum or maximum number of blogs required – and ‘present’ them with their award;
  3. Include a link back to this page Blog of the Year 2012’ Award at the Thought Palette and provide these ‘rules’ in your post (please don’t alter the rules or the badges!)
  4. Let the blog(s) you have chosen know that you have given them this award and share the ‘rules’ with them
  5. You can now also join our Facebook group – click ‘like’ on this page ‘Blog of the Year’ Award Facebook group and then you can share your blog with an even wider audience
  6. As a winner of the award – please add a link back to the blog that presented you with the award – and then proudly display the award on your blog side sidebar … and start collecting stars…

I’d like to thank Kitt again for this honor and recommend you check out her blog because it rocks-just sayin! I am sharing this award with some great people whose writing has made me laugh and inspired me during the beginnings of my crazy journey. PS: I know some of you are like “Geez Sara it’s not 2012.” It’s just one day-whats the big deal?…It’s the thought that counts and these writers are good so chill… 

January 2, 2013 Posted by | Blogging Awards | , , , | 6 Comments