Single in Sin City

A good girls survival guide to dating in Las Vegas

Top 10 Places for Dates in Las Vegas

Las Vegas

Las Vegas, my home town, is a treasure trove of fabulous date night spots.  There are many things to do outside of the typical yet beautiful resorts and night clubs.  I’ve created a catchall list of places I think make for a great date night. I would like to think I’ve included a little something for everyone. (These are not necessarily in any particular order.)

  1. Marche Bacchus -This is a delightful spot located in the Summerlin area. It has a lakeside view and an onsite wine shop. It has been my experience that you can’t go wrong with delicious French food combined with excellent wine and a waterside view. This equals a romantic evening.
  2. KISS by Monster Mini Golf – What a fun spot! Even if you do not care for the band..and let’s face it KISS kinda rocks. Not only that but for a nominal fee you can wear the boots and get a souvenir picture! That rocks all by itself!
  3. The Cellar Lounge – Great prices and a truly one-of-a kind atmosphere for Las Vegas. This unique setting is actually downstairs. They offer a variety of blues and jazz music and even host an open mic night. (I’d never personally sing there because I like the atmosphere too much to destroy it with the sounds of an injured cat but hey it might be an option for you.)
  4. The Fremont Street Experience – I know this doesn’t sound romantic but I LOVE going there during the Summer of Concerts season. It is affordable fun, live music and the opportunity to people watch.
  5. Peppermill Las Vegas – Entering the Peppermill is like being transported to a different era of Las Vegas. (it’s the strip technically but much easier to get to off of the 15 and Sahara.) The food is fabulous, the drinks are unique and the lounge is a great spot to hang with your honey.
  6. Fast Lap Indoor Kart Racing – I think there is a little kid in all of us that loves racing cars around a track. What sets this place apart is the cars go up to 50 mph and the track is well designed. Also, Las Vegas gets HOT. I like to be able to race indoors. Dating can be romantic but sometimes it should be fun too!
  7. WestWind Las Vegas 5 Drive In – We STILL have ONE Drive In movie theater left. Who doesn’t like the idea of cuddling next to your date while relaxing in your own vehicle during a movie. It can be its own form of romantic.
  8. Haunted Vegas Tours – I honestly didn’t see Bugsy Seigel’s ghost but it sure was interesting to hear about all the rich Las Vegas history I was completely unaware of.  Enjoy a mutual laugh while trying to conduct a paranormal investigation or see a ghost?. Who knows?
  9. Mount Charleston – Get out of the Las Vegas heat for a while and go have dinner at the lodge. Or plan a hike and visit the lounge afterwards.  A hike with your sweetie might be just the ticket. If you are looking to book a getaway this can also be a great spot. The cabins are nice and they have upgraded rooms. Winter or summer this is a nice spot only 45 minutes away from the center of Las Vegas.
  10. The National Atomic Testing Museum – Even if your date doesn’t like science, this is worth a visit . Discover information about mysterious Area 51, a personal favorite.  If you are tired of the typical stuff, I recommend switching it up and giving this place a shot.

I am probably leaving out at least 100 other places. Until Next Time…Ciao!

July 31, 2013 Posted by | Dating Ideas, Las Vegas Tips | , , , , , , , , | Leave a comment

7 Bad Date Exit Strategies

My only addition would be the following:

  • Men looking to get out of a bad date: Ask the woman if she would like to go back to your place and meet your parents. Mention how your mother still cooks for you and washes your laundry.  If this does not work, ask if she can cover the bill because you forgot your wallet. This will send women running…I promise.

 

  • Women looking to get out of a bad date: Start planning the wedding. Then proceed to talk about all the babies you want to have. You can even have fun with this and start naming them at the table. This has a 99.99% success rate and I have used it personally with success.

Another Single Woman's Blog

We’ve ALL been there. The Bad Date.

Sitting at a table across from your date and wondering how in the hell you’re going to get out of the situation. I’ve compiled a short list of ways to do this. Some require minimal pre-planning and some can be done on the fly. These are options that can be used when you don’t feel like saying to the person’s face:

” You’re a creepy bastard and you look NOTHING like your pictures. There’s no fucking way I want to stay another minute let alone EVER want to have sex with you.”

Most of us wouldn’t have the guts to say that in person so here’s what else you can do:

  1.  Go to the bathroom but don’t come back. This only works if you are seated where your date can’t see the bathroom AND the exit.
  2.  Tell your date you’re going to the…

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July 29, 2013 Posted by | First Dates, Uncategorized | , , , , | Leave a comment

Why am I Such a Pain in the Butt?

Why am I such a pain in the butt? I like to think I’m pretty easy-going by nature. I like to be happy. I am rather confident and outgoing . I generally see the glass as half full. BUT…Man does  my own head get in the way sometimes. What’s up with that yo?

I know how to put the past behind me. If I couldn’t do that I wouldn’t be able to be who I am today. I survive and I continue. HOWEVER, maybe that’s not 100% the truth.I believe I push people not to play games but to test their love.  I also almost always refuse to depend on anyone but myself. To the point where I can drive people away. Why? I think (big if here peeps) that it’s because integral people  in my life have let me down. This does not mean that I do not have good people in my life..I do. I try to cut out negative people in my life. This does not mean I am unhappy. I am happy with my life-I am very happy. This does not mean I can’t love. I love with a passion that can only come from someone as intense as me. This means that from the age of 8 I’ve realized I am the only person that will take care of me. That’s cool because it made me who I am today BUT I think it’s why I’m such a complete Pain in the Ass err Butt to someone who tries to love me.

walls

I have a very dear friend to me who also has the same problem. She raised herself like I did. We have a lot in common including the pushing. I don’t lash out and say mean things. She does. (That’s something she is doing well at conquering.) I wall up and become distant. I get cold….like frigid. I think this drives people away quickly because I am normally so warm to those I care about. However, the second I think I might get hurt, the armor comes up. (I’m about honesty so…here goes a confession) I think it’s to see if someone is really going to stick around. It’s like I want to see if they will run the second I’m not all smiles and blue eyes. It’s not a game to me..it’s really not. It’s my gosh darn burden. It quite possibly helped me survive my childhood. I don’t know how else I could have kept my hopeful outlook on life without being able to wall off and protect myself. However, I can’t stand this behavior as an adult. I think it  is very stupid. I don’t want to be stupid..err I don’t want to be as stupid as I used to be. I’m ending this cycle slowly and painfully. It is my journey to self-improvement. Life is too damn short to spend on stupid stuff. So why do I share?

My blog is my journey as a single woman. The last three years…actually almost four now…have been about discovering who I am as a person. If you haven’t spent your whole life with someone, you can’t begin to imagine how scary it was for me to make this journey. I never knew who I was really because I was always controlled by another. In the process, I like to believe I have helped people. I get about 15 emails a month asking for dating advice. I try to help them. However, this silly and simple blog has helped me more than years of therapy ever could. I share it publicly in the hopes of paying it forward. Also, because I don’t really have anything to hide. I am me. I am not perfect, but Boy Howdy I am trying to be better.

My advice for today: STOP and think about why you are behaving a certain way. If you are behaving irrationally (in any manner) try to discover why. I AM NOT going to tolerate this behavior from myself any longer. I am not guaranteeing it won’t happen again but I am not going to be the type of person who is always pushing when all I really want is for that person to hold me. That doesn’t even make sense when you think about it…geesh Sara. Next time I feel the need to push…I’m going to stop. I’m going to pray. One day, I may even stop being a pain in the butt…err maybe I’ll be less of a pain in the butt. We decide who we want to be my friends…

Until next time…Ciao!

July 20, 2013 Posted by | Personal Growth, Uncategorized, Women Advice | , , , , , , , , | Leave a comment

Communication, Commitment and Expectations-oh my!

I received a very interesting advice request today that hit close to home. So….I’m gonna share. (I asked for permission and this is anonymous and paraphrased because the entire letter was too long for a post.)

Dear Dating in Vegas,

I’m engaged to someone who won’t commit to a wedding date. Also, she does not have sex as much as I would like. I’m very frustrated and when I try talking to her she shuts down. How do you think I can approach this with her?

Sincerely.

Anonymous

I’m going to qualify my opinion first. 1. I am not necessarily a champion at relationships. Although I do think its easier to give advice from the outside. 2. I am very confident with giving dating advice. If you want to spot a player. I am your girl hands down. I see them from a mile away. I also know how to NOT play games while you are in the dating field. (However, when it comes to love…well…I’m still learning and making many mistakes.) 

I can relate to this person. I do not know what it’s like to wait for someone to commit to a wedding date because that wasn’t an issue when I got married. I am going to address the rest first and circle back on the marriage topic. I can relate to Anonymous because I do understand what it’s like to not have your physical needs fulfilled. The best way to describe that feeling is:

  • It makes you feel undesirable
  • It hurts your feelings
  • For me it is VERY upsetting..like almost painful..and I get irritable
  • It makes my needs feel unimportant

What happens when one partner can’t communicate this to the other? I don’t know how men react. I’ve already said that we speak different languages. I reacted poorly prior to speaking about it. At first, I tried all kinds of things. Good girls can be very adventurous you know! However, eventually you stop trying and get cranky. How do you communicate something like that? I don’t know how to address it successfully because my experience was not positive but I was in a unique situation. My advice is gentle yet direct. I think when we don’t communicate things..we start to fester.  I highly recommend all the cards being on the table when you are in a relationship. It’s the best way. However, we need to remember that we can’t take back misspoken words. Be VERY VERY careful and think before you speak. Chose each word carefully. I can’t stress this part enough. If you are dealing with a delicate subject like this, you need to choose your words wisely.  If you do that and they still shut down or it blows up then it’s time to look at who you are committing to. Is this an expectation you’re willing to let go of?

Now let’s discuss the marriage date. I am certainly no expert on that topic. I would like to challenge Anonymous (and anyone else who this might help) by asking some questions. Do you want to marry someone you can’t talk about your feelings/concerns with? Marriage is hard. (It’s waaaaay easier than dating though if you ask me.) However, there are many times both parties will need to address something the other is doing or not doing. It takes compromise and full partnership to work. How can you be in a partnership with someone you can’t talk to? Do you want to marry someone who is not fulfilling your physical (as in sex peeps) needs. I can tell you I don’t. If this is a problem BEFORE a marriage, consider what it will be like 10 years into the marriage. Personally, I’ve given this some serious thought and it is a deal breaker for me. I am not going to remain in a long-term relationship where those needs are not addressed. The best marriages will have ups and downs in this area. (I read it in several marriage books..yeah I’ve never had a BEST marriage personally but if it’s in a book it’s gotta be true..derr) Consider the possibility that if you are ALREADY having these problems and you are unable to discuss them with your partner there might be big problems down the road.

What’s my advice: I am not going to suggest to anyone what to do or not do  with their loved ones. Who am I to do so?  I HIGHLY recommend waiting on the wedding date until these issues are worked out. Why rush when there are a couple of pretty big problems staring up at you? What expectations are you willing to let go of and what do you need. Marriage is a big deal. There is still a little girl inside of me that believes it is forever. She believes that with all of her soul. Don’t jump into something that sacred without being sure.

Remember:

communication

Until Next Time….Ciao!

July 18, 2013 Posted by | Relationships, Uncategorized | , , , , , , , , | 1 Comment

The Marrying Kind

For some reason men I date ALWAYS pop back up. I don’t know why. It may happen to lots of women but I can only account for me. Today a man I went on a few dates with asked me if I was married yet. Um…I went out with him a few times about 6 months ago. How fast does homeboy think I move? It took me foooooorrrreeeevvvverrrr to even meet a guy that made it beyond 4 dates. Ha! (That’s another story though.) For obvious reasons, I asked the man why. (The truth is, I wouldn’t have answered my cell at all if I knew it was him because there was nothing to say and I am dating someone exclusively….but I did so I was stuck..doh!) 

This man told me I was the Marrying Kind.

wedding couple-kids

Hmmmmm…That’s just effin HILARIOUS to me considering he does not really know me. The statement just seemed awfully bold and presumptuous.  Obviously, I asked him what he meant.  Homeboy (yeah I’m just gonna call him that mmkay) told me I seemed like the kind of woman who men who want to be married propose to. This doesn’t offend me. (Psst: I DO really want to be married someday if the man’s right for me and as long as it’s for the right reasons…but um who is he to tell me this-ya know?) I replied like anyone who knows me would. I said, “Well thanks.”  BUT Homeboy couldn’t leave it at that. Oh no! Homeboy proceeded to tell me that’s why he didn’t want to date me any longer. (Yeah I was the one that told him we weren’t right for each other so now I’m literally placing my finger on my mouth to stop myself from saying something mean-spirited.) So I did what any mature woman my age would do. I said, “nuh uh, I told you we weren’t looking for the same things…remember?” To which he replied, “Who stopped seeing who doesn’t matter. I’ve been thinking about it and I am no longer opposed to being married. I am done with  having fun with Vegas women and want something solid.” I quickly replied, “And I wish you the best of luck in finding it.” BOOM GOES THE DYNAMITE! I said it quickly. I said it sarcastically. By Golly, I said it with the level of neutrality it takes to pull a comment like that off.  Sometimes I’m so mature.

He stuttered, and as he stammered, I snickered. I mean you just can’t make stuff like this up. This is real life comedy at its finest hour. I would have LOVED to have seen his face. What type of arrogance do you think a man like that must have? Homeboy could only respond with, “Well I saw a Taekwondo commercial the other day and it made me think of you.” (For the record I don’t think I’ve ever seen a TKD commercial..but I will let homeboy have this one..heehee) I replied, “I appreciate your thoughts but I am seeing someone and I do not think it’s appropriate for you to call.” DOUBLE TRIPLE BOOM! I was offended and bemusedly shocked. ( I am sooooo proud of myself for finding a proper place to use the word bemusedly. Go Clark County education!)  I maintained a demeanor of full blown Ice Queen mode and I think he got off the phone with that damn arrogance knocked down just a little bit. Some.Peoples.Children.

My conclusion to this hilarious event is that I felt both insulted and complimented. The insulting feelings stemmed from the fact he felt I would give him the time of day now that he wanted a serious relationship. As if dude!  However I got to admit there are worse things to be called than the Marrying Kind. I am a good woman. I just won’t be “his” woman. Ha! So what’s my moral??

If you are single (male or female) do not approach the former dates that perhaps didn’t make the first cut and ask them out again. It’s waaaay lame. (I also thought it was obvious but guess not.) If you are approached by this type of comeback line or ANY variation of it (male or female) RUN! You don’t need to settle for this. Remember if you don’t place a high value on yourself, no one else will either.

Until next time…Ciao!

July 16, 2013 Posted by | Dating Advice, Personal Growth | , , , , , , , , , , , , | 2 Comments

If I Were a Boy

I would seriously be the best man ever. Well I would once I got over my fear of bugs…and popping cans of biscuits. However, once you put those things aside, I would ROCK at being a man. You know why? Cuz I would know how to treat my woman. Derr…I’ve started and stopped writing this post a zillion times but now I’m like..meh..why not? Maybe some guy will stumble upon it and learn something. Maybe I’m TOTALLY wrong…BUT I’m gonna pull the “this is my blog” card. So here’s a nifty (yep I said nifty) list of ways I would treat the woman I loved…If I was a boy. (and don’t go there…cuz I LOVE being a woman!)

  • I would compliment her all the time..not in an obnoxious way but in a “I absolutely adore and would never change anything about you way.” I personally thrive with that type of treatment. It empowers me when I feel really confident in how a man a feels about me physically-even my flaws-I am at my absolute best with that man.
  • I would never lie to her. So tying this in to my previous comment, don’t blow smoke up my butt. I’m serious…I don’t expect someone to tell me I’m tall when I’m short…just love the things about me that are real. Obviously this also applies to bigger things like going out with other women…blah blah blah..but I think that one’s kinda obvious.
  • I would call her once a day. Maybe I would be on my way out with the guys, and that should be okay. Relationships need trust from both people. (My male readers need to stay away from crazy women that don’t let you hang with your friends…just sayin.) I would call her to hear her voice..because I want to hear her voice (not out of obligation.)
  •  I would make an effort to learn her love language and I would care about it. (I have a post on that topic in the works..so wait for it yo.) Does she need quality time, acts of service, words of encouragement, etc.
  • I would pay attention to her. I would let her know her thoughts were important.
  • I would never take her for granted. Every woman has a breaking point.
  • I would laugh with her.
  • I would let her cry and not make fun of her.
  • I would find common interests with her and go do stuff. If she’s into dancing, let’s take a dance class, martial arts, tai chi, etc. (I don’t personally need ALL of my hobbies infringed upon but I would really LOVE to have a hobby I did with my love interest. I’ve never had that.)
  • MOST importantly, I would make her feel secure in my intentions. I’ve preached about what a woman really needs to be happy. Let me remind everyone of my humble theory. The average woman-simple folk like me- just needs to feel secure. For example, I would never tell a woman I loved that I was considering moving. Why? That would make her not feel secure. However, when I am emotionally, physically and financially secure I am a happy camper. Actually I am ok financially all by myself.  As long as my partner wasn’t a financial drain, I would be cool. However, I do need to feel secure emotionally (secure with his love not the “oh my goodness this woman should be on meds cuz she’s cray cray” type of emotionally secure) and physically secure (yeah as in sex dude .) A man once explained the theory of security to me and it was one of the smartest things he ever said to me.

Moral for today:

Men: When do you treat your woman right? Answer: Before another man does…ha! Just kidding. I think a lot of men just get confused by some women. I know we are a bundle of emotions at times. However, if you find the right one…the one you really feel is worthy of your devotion…I promise you that most of the stuff I just wrote will work. It needs to be genuine, it needs to be coming from a good place, and most importantly it should be things you naturally want to do for her. If you don’t want to…maybe it’s not the right woman.

Women: Be patient. I have written MANY posts on what we do wrong too. In so many ways, we are like two different species. Perhaps it’s more apt to suggest that we just speak a different language at times. If your man makes mistakes..forgive. If he can’t fulfill your basic needs of security…maybe it’s not the right man.

*****Disclaimer: I can’t give advice for the entire female population. There are ALWAYS exceptions. If it feels like I geared this entire thing toward my own perspective, it’s because I have. After all, I only have my perspective to pull from. So, take all of this as my humble opinion dude*****

Until Next Time..here’s a song I used to really really relate to when I was locked in a bad marriage….Ciao!

July 10, 2013 Posted by | Men Advice, Uncategorized | , , , , , , , | Leave a comment

Sometimes…

Sometimes life hands you a beautiful surprise. Sometimes life kicks you in the head and you’re left stunned.  Sometimes a good plan falls apart. Sometimes promises are broken. Sometimes people die.  Sometimes people leave. Sometimes it’s a good thing. Sometimes it hurts. Sometimes the tears, pain, betrayal, all lead to hidden blessings. Sometimes I receive a blessing I didn’t even think I deserved.   Sometimes you have to be completely broken down in order to be rebuilt and somewhere along the way…life hands you a beautiful surprise.

I don’t have a moral on dating tonight, but I think I have something more important. I’d really like to spread a message of hope tonight. Not of finding someone who loves you but of finding that love in yourself. Once you find the love in yourself, it will encourage others to see it. I found it by stopping and taking a moment to be thankful for everything I have. No matter what you do or do not have-you have more than you realize. Try to stop and send good thoughts to people you can’t stand. If you really mean it, the results are amazing. Let go of the anger and just be grateful. I know it sounds silly but it works! I get picked on a lot by my friends for having this attitude. Quite often they like to call me Pollyanna or they mistake it for naivety. Perhaps it is both. My birthday is coming and it always conjures bad childhood memories. This time of year I am always reminded that life can be horrifying and beautiful at the same time. Then I remember the day an 8-year-old girl made the decision to hope for a better life. She made the decision to smile. Sometimes, tragic things still happen but no one can take away my happiness but myself….Choose to be happy.

hope

Until Next Time..Ciao!

July 8, 2013 Posted by | Love, Personal Growth, Uncategorized | , , , , , , , , | 2 Comments