Single in Sin City

A good girls survival guide to dating in Las Vegas

Aint No Future in Your Fronting

Only some of you will catch what that title means. Sorry for the slang.   We all know someone like this. “I drive a Mercedes baby but it’s in the shop.” Or how about the woman who spends every penny she has on labels so she can keep up with a certain “status?” Where I am from, we call that hood rich. In fact, this problem has increased significantly by the invention of online dating. Someone can be whatever they want to be online. If you’ve ever dated online, you know what I mean.

For example, a woman may claim to look like this: ??????????????????????????????????????

when she really looks like this:  older blonde woman

 

There is no issue with how either of these lovely ladies look. HOWEVER….you gotta expect a man to be shocked when he meets you!

Now I have seen a man who claimed to look like this: man in shape

When he really looked like this: men in bad shape

Just kidding. I would never date ANY man who had a picture of himself with his shirt off on his profile. I don’t really care what you look like. It screams douche…but I digress because I’ve written about that topic many, many times. However, you get the point. Looks are not the only thing a person can front or…pretend about. How about age, money, job status or living with their gosh darn parents at 40. None of these things are deal breakers to all people…but lying is.

My moral here is simple: BE YOURSELF!!!! Someone will always find out. If you are not confident enough in who you REALLY are then you are not ready to date and find a REAL relationship. That’s all I have to say about that.

Until Next Time…..here’s a song that reminds me of this topic….Ciao!

 

 

 

June 28, 2014 Posted by | Dating Advice, Personal Growth, Uncategorized | , , , , , , , , , , | Leave a comment

You’re Probably being Played If…..

We’ve all wondered if it was happening to us. Well…maybe not you. If you’re one of the fortunate ones….good for you! However, most of us have. I have sat around and speculated that someone really liked me. He um…just didn’t know how to tell me. Maybe he is afraid of being hurt? Maybe he is scared by his feelings? Maybe he needs space? Maybe he really is a top-secret spy that can only call me on Friday nights because of his job? Um….yeah…maybe? So what’s the secret?

The secret is ACTIONS! OOps! Guess it’s not a secret anymore.  In an effort to be useful (yes some of these..heck MOST of these I have written about before but I seem to get LOTS of questions about players.) Anyways, in an effort to be useful, I have a bunch of examples below.

  • You might be getting played if the guy/girl will never introduce you to his/her friends
  • You are definitely getting played (or at least not considered a “serious potential dating partner” if you bump into his/her friends and you do not get introduced. (Please do not take this. If you feel hurt by it it’s because….you should. I’m sorry if that hurts. Find someone who deserves you.However if you don’t care, rock on with your bad self!)
  • You are probably getting played if he/she only calls you on Friday/Saturday..or whatever day. (If they are interested, it’s not just about that once a week hook-up call.)
  • You are probably getting played if you have been seeing the man/woman for a consistent amount of time and you have never been invited to his/her house. (DANGER DANGER..it is quite possible they are married/shacking….don’t blow a gasket…I said possible.)
  • You’re probably being played if you do not know what he/she does for a living….after like the first date!
  • You’re probably being played if you always meet up at random, last-minute requests. (Not only that, but I find that rude.)
  • You’re probably being played if your interest is not being reciprocated. (If you are giving WAY more that you are receiving, it’s time to check in with your brain and think about the relationship logically. This sucks..I know.)

There are so many more examples I could write. I would honestly love to hear any other opinions. Playing with someone’s feelings is messed up yo! I prefer to keep my advice simple…

Moral: If the actions of your love interest are questionable…take a moment to think about it. It hurts to have your feelings played with. Keep your head up and leave yourself open for someone who will adore you….I know they’re right around the corner.

Until Next Time…Ciao!

 

June 12, 2014 Posted by | Dating Advice, Uncategorized | , , , , , , , , , , , | Leave a comment

Ahhh..Memories

About 2 years ago I went on a date with a  U.S. Marshal. He was kind of intense but we had a great first meeting. For our second date, we went to a local bar for drinks. We had a nice date. We chatted and there seemed to be chemistry. The date ended on a solid note.

He text me that night. Then he text me the following day and we had this conversation:

“I am really attracted to you and you seem like a good woman. Do you know what I’ve always really wanted?” I replied with,” What?”  He proceeded to tell me this, “I’ve always secretly wanted to be with a woman who will cheat on me with multiple men. Maybe even let me watch.”  WTF??? “Well that’s not really what I’m into and we are not looking for the same thing.” (NOW I just think this dude is another LV Douche Bag. Scratch this homeboy off the list..ya know!) Lastly, he replied with, “Oh me either, I was just playing.”

badfirstdate

Moral: Can you say delete and block?? I can!  I guess my moral is simple today. Dating is HARD! Hang in there and remember you are not alone in the struggle.  Oh and if you have these types of desires…wait until you really know the person. Derr…

Until Next Time…Ciao

 

 

April 21, 2014 Posted by | Dating Advice, First Dates | , , , , , , , , , , | Leave a comment

7 Things You Don’t Tell Your Significant Other

stupid things

Has your S.O. (psst: That’s short for Significant Other) ever opened his/her mouth and you wished you could shove a sock in it? Or even worse…..Have you ever watched the expression on your loved one’s face shatter as you cram your entire foot in your mouth? Then, once you said something incredibly insensitive, you just kept digging the hole deeper? I have. If you have never said something stupid you must be one of those perfect people and you really should teach…cuz I know LOTS of people who need the lessons (like um me.) Unfortunately,  I do not know of this perfect person…so…I wrote a list!

  1. Do not tell your S.O that you are very attracted to a certain “type” of person that does not match them. (It just isn’t a good idea people. You’ve instantly made someone insecure about his/her desirability ((I have no idea if that’s even a word yo..but I checked and it is!))
  2. Do not tell your S.O that you can’t see them anymore because your ex called you back. (Look some things need to be left out.  Things like that can be very damaging to the ego and NO I have not been told that but I’ve witnessed it.)
  3. Never EVER tell your S.O they look fat (I am especially giving this advice to the men. Even confident women might have to work on getting over that)
  4. Never EVVVVVVERRRRRR talk about the pleasurable sex life you had with your ex. (Some things are OFF limits. Why in the world would that even be mentioned? It’s really simple…stay focused on complimenting the sex life you currently have before it becomes your past as well. Derr)
  5. Do not tell your S.O that you want to be married some day but not to them. (Even if it’s the truth..leave it out. It’s hurtful and I am guilty…although it was the truth.)
  6. Do not attack your S.O’s moral character. (DISCLAIMER: If you are on your way out the door forever..perhaps a little truth-telling might be good. However, if you are planning on working it out, please remember this is the kind of stuff that sticks with a person.)
  7. Do not call names. (It’s just not cool. I used to do this in the early stages of my marriage. Although many of the names were true, it’s not nice or productive. I’ve also been on the receiving end of some of the vilest names you can call a woman..by someone who claimed to love me. It hurts.)

Today’s Advice: Words hurt. People like to say sticks and stones may break my bones…blah blah blah. The truth is that most damage is caused by what we say out of spite or stupidity. If you love your S.O. focus on building them up. (post on that coming.) Think through what you are saying. Please trust me on this..focus on the good. It says that in the bible you know. (I’m not trying to get preachy but…) It’s the truth.  Also, if your S.O. messes up forgive him/her if it was unintentional. (I personally stay away from people who say mean things from spite.) If it was stupid…forgive. Writing this out helped me remember that too. Even if you are not Christian, my favorite book in the bible has a lot of valuable lessons on love. I will leave you with my favorite.

1 Corinthians 13:4-12

Love is patient and kind; love does not envy or boast; it is not arrogant or rude. It does not insist on its own way; it is not irritable or resentful; it does not rejoice at wrongdoing, but rejoices with the truth. Love bears all things, believes all things, hopes all things, endures all things. Love never ends.

Until Next Time..Ciao!

 

April 3, 2014 Posted by | Personal Growth, Relationships, Uncategorized | , , , , , , , , , , , , | 2 Comments

Oh No He Didn’t!

So we know if we are on dating sites, we will get approached via message. DATING SITES. Last Thursday I received the message below. (PSST: I am no longer on the dating sites and haven’t been for a year.)

Hello Beautiful, I may not be superman, but give me a second and I will fly across countries to send you my love. Have you received it? hope you don’t mind us communicating each other through our personal email,hope you don’t mind?
Waiting to read from you soon…. 

Regards……. Christopher

And TODAY I received a different message from a different man!!!!

Hi thanks for accepting my connection, anyway l have gone through your profile and l must tell you that am really impressed on what l have seen therefore thats why l connected you maybe we can share some ideas together after hours though we are in different fields. You look really good and would wanna get to know you properly. bye and hope to hear from you soon

Where do you think I received these messages? FaceBook? NOPE Twitter? NOPE….drum roll…….LinkedIn! Now go freaking figure. I always assumed this was a safe professional social networking venue. The first email was over the top stupid. (Ummm sorry it was.) Let me qualify: It was STUPID under any circumstance. Stupid on a dating site, stupid on a boat, and stupid with a goat. I really blew it off to one of those rare chance occurrences but four days later another guy sends me a message. What is this? LinkedIn Lonely Hearts Club? So über stupid and unprofessional. ( I do have a professional persona ya know!)

Todays Advice:

Men: PLEASE do not send this kind of crap. It is ridiculously transparent and insulting. (Psst: It is insulting because anyone who sends it must think I’m some kind of idiot to believe its authenticity; and if you can’t figure that one out buddy…phone a friend.) Anywho…I do not recommend generic, demeaning messages. If you happen to attract a woman this way, she may be….generic herself.

Women: Let’s not reply to this junk. I know it’s tempting to want to tell them off or to just plain ‘ole vent but it just isn’t worth it. I stopped a long time ago.

Everyone: LinkedIn is for business networking. Not hooking up…and that’s all I have to say about that.

Until Next Time….Ciao!

March 18, 2014 Posted by | Dating Advice, Men Advice, Online Dating, Uncategorized | , , , , , , , , , , , , | 2 Comments

When Do You Know?

A close friend asked me, “Sara, when do I know I am over my ex?” I think the answer is to look at your actions.

  • Are you looking at his/her online profile on a frequent basis? (Facebook, LinkedIn, etc.) If you are looking at them more than you care to admit, you are probably still healing and not moved on.
  • Are you looking at old photographs? This one is kinda obvious. If you feel the need to pull out old photos, you are probably not over your ex. (pst: if you have kids with the person and you keep them for your kids, it’s different. However, if you are pulling them out just to look at the person…well I don’t think you’re over it.)
  • Do you still keep mementos? (old cards, letters. etc.) When you are really over something, you can let go of that stuff. I dare say it is good for you.
  • Do you visit places you used to see him/her at in the hopes of seeing the person? ( I have never done this but I have heard of people doing it.)
  • Do you think about your ex frequently?
  • Do you find yourself jumping at the chance to see him/her? This is a BIG one.
  • Have you found yourself thinking about a random reason to reach out to him/her in the hopes of starting a dialogue? Hey..we’ve all done it. It just means you are not over it.

Today’s Moral:If you are suffering from these symptoms, it does not make you a weak person. This just means you are probably not over your last relationship. Just like the grief process, it takes as long as it takes. I only caution you not to start a NEW relationship until you are ready. It is better for you and better for the next amazing person you find in your life.

Until Next Time…Ciao!

Oh! And remember to never ever do this:

o-BREAK-UP-570

March 10, 2014 Posted by | Dating Advice, Personal Growth, Uncategorized | , , , , , , , , , , , , | Leave a comment

Needing Love

One of the sweetest women I have ever known in my entire life killed herself recently.  She was bubbly, friendly and no one saw it coming. What no one realized is how miserable she was. My dear friend always desperately wanted acceptance and the love of a man.  As a result, she didn’t always qualify the men or have great standards.  Men did not treat her the way she deserved. How anyone could not see the beauty that resided in her soul and cherish it is beyond me. That woman exhibited pure joy since she was 9.  She left behind four children.

This inspired me to contemplate what it means to need love. Actually, to need love so badly that you would die over it. (yeah..I’m going all deep tonight but it’s my blog yo.) As a little girl, I dreamed of a husband and lots of kids and growing old with someone.  Truth be told, I jumped right at it by marrying my high school sweetheart. Somewhere into the third year of my 13 year marriage, I realized that the idea of that is silly. Marriage is compromise. Marriage is hard work. Sometimes, that love is not reciprocated. I actually resigned myself into pretending and while I loved that man until the day he died, I was not in love with him for a good ten years of my marriage. I still had a family unit and if I worked hard enough, was responsible enough and strong enough…it would all work out. Okay…epic fail there. I blew that one big time. Why do I even bring it up?

I mention it because I didn’t get my dream either. I refuse to dwell on its absence. I really really wanted that damn simple dream of a family that I had as a little girl it but heck..I can’t change that. I will not spend my life upset over it when I have so much to be grateful for. All my friend wanted was a level of commitment and love and she just went miserable when she couldn’t find it. The absence of that was a constant pressure in her life.  You must accept who and where you are in life regardless of where you wish you were. That’s hard advice to follow…but I try.

Moral: I have several tonight.

1. I think the key is choosing to be happy with what you have. Not yearning for what you don’t have. I think dwelling on the absence of love/money/marriage/whatever in your life leads to bitterness.

2. Love can’t fix you. The void has to be filled before anything healthy can enter your life. I can’t stress that enough. Work on being the best you possible and then love will come.

3. Please do not seek a permanent solution to a temporary situation. There is nothing in life that is so horribly permanent that you should choose death. EVERYTHING is temporary. When I look back at every dark spot in my life, it has always passed. Life is beautiful and tragic at the same time with points of brilliant light and bleak darkness intertwined throughout. Some days just focus on breathing and other days we will remember why life is such a precious gift. The clock is still running. Stay in the game…please.

RIP my sweet childhood friend.

Until Next Time…Ciao

February 25, 2014 Posted by | grief, Personal Growth, Uncategorized | , , , , , , , , , , , | 6 Comments

7 Traits of The “Vegas Guy”

douchebag epidemic

Las Vegas IS a trip! Men in this city are too! I’ve written about the “Vegas Woman.” Now it’s time to write about ‘dem crazy men in this city! I love lists! I really do! Here are seven very common signs that “Vegas Men” have.

1. They have a google voice phone number. (There is no way they are giving you their actual  phone number..geesh)

2. They will be regulars on most dating sites. (They have to keep a healthy inventory as they keep searching for the hottest/best/most successful female.)

douchebag-on-steroids-1

3. The will consistently name drop. (They know people who know people yo.)

4. Are 45 and have never been in a committed relationship. (Why choose one when you can have many?)

5. Know every night club by heart. (They ARE living IN Vegas baby!)

6. They may get hair highlights (Once again not all men with highlights are bad or players but…)

7. Can you say designer labels and lots of knowledge about them? (I love nice things. I am not saying this alone makes a “Vegas Guy” but it is a common trait.)

*****Qualifier: I am not suggesting that a couple of these traits makes a typical “Vegas Guy.” I am only listing common traits I see among them. Also, I never said I had all the answers….this is my blog and my humble opinion.*****

Moral: The key here is status and shallowness.  A “Vegas Guy” is mainly into appearance and the Vegas lifestyle. I do not recommend dating these men if you are looking for something solid and meaningful. It is hard to find anything meaningful when this type of man is usually on the lookout for something better. Who wants to feel like they are constantly being evaluated? I know I don’t.

Until Next Time…Ciao!

 

February 24, 2014 Posted by | Las Vegas Tips, Uncategorized, Women Advice | , , , , , , , , , , , | Leave a comment

Worst Break Up Ever…

A couple dated for about 8 months. While they dated, he took her to his  favorite hangout-a karaoke bar. She met all his friends and hung out at this spot every weekend. She did not sing but she went with the guy she was dating. Unfortunately, no one really liked the girl. In fact, they called her bitch face (not nice and I am NOT endorsing that behavior…but I did include it cuz it was funny and she was a snooty mcsnooterton.) However, the guy liked her so the friends accepted her. She even made a few semi-friendships. As time passed the guy decided he wanted to break up with her.

He called her on the phone and asked if they could meet up to talk. The girl, (whom I think may have suspected the nature of the intended conversation) refused to meet up. Eventually, the guy was forced to break up via text. That Friday he went to his normal hangout with his friends and……

The girl was there. The REAL awkward moment was when homegirl (that’s her name now) realized the guy was dating one of his female friends. Homegirl felt betrayed and YES I agree that it was a little soon BUT it is a free country right? So she sat across from him the entire night and……

Homegirl went to that bar every weekend thereafter. Initially, she was earning sympathy with some of the patrons of this bar. However, she kept going on an on about the guy every night. Every.single.weekend. People grew tired of it, but there were a couple of people who still listened. Mainly they were older men who wanted a chance to console a hot, youngish blonde. As weeks turned into months and she kept complaining and complaining about the situation and how he cheated on her with his female friend and how this female friend was supposed to be homegirl’s friend too….well you can imagine how people grew frustrated.  The final event was when homegirl called the new girlfriend a slut. The new girlfriend snapped! Then the new girlfriend threw a beer bottle at her and now…..THERE’S A GIRL FIGHT!!! (I’m way bummed I missed that shiznit cuz girl fights are the best to watch…but such is life yo.) Both girls errr women (they are in their mid-thirties) were asked to leave and not come back.  At this point it has been three months since homegirl and dude’s breakup.

girl fight

What is todays Moral:

Ladies: Why in the world did she keep coming back? Show some gosh darn dignity.  She had no right to infringe upon his friends by continuing to hang around after the break up. If I broke up with someone, I would not even dream of pushing myself at HIS friends. I would not be mean to his friends but I certainly would respect his previous friendships. The only thing this woman managed to do was make a fool of herself. Please don’t do that. Keep you head up high! Recognize the fact that you are a strong and wonderful woman. There will be a new man who recognizes that..I promise. AND no fist fighting over men. You might get more than you bargain for.

Men: Watch out for crazies. I’ve warned you before. Hell hath no fury like a woman scorned and when you add a little nutso into the mix…KA BOOM! Be careful.

Until Next Time, here’s a song…Ciao!

February 11, 2014 Posted by | Dating Advice, Personal Growth, Uncategorized | , , , , , , , , , , , | 2 Comments

Psst: You’re on a Mailing List

Dear Sara,

I seem to get lot’s of random text from guys I have dated in the past. Why do you think they keep messaging me? I got four Merry Christmas messages and tons of Happy New Year ones.  I also get lots of “How are you?” messages. When I answer there’s never a response. Why text me if they don’t want to answer?

Sincerely,

Anonymous

no-mass-texting

This is a timely question. I was just discussing this with a very close friend. You are most certainly on a mass text list. Unfortunately, almost a year of serial dating left me on LOTS of lists! I also receive a bunch of messages that seem very random. I never answer them. I can tell when they are genuinely sent to me only. A “Merry Christmas Sara. I hope you’re well.” message is definitely a direct and personal greeting from someone I dated. I would seriously change my number if I hadn’t had it so long.

Advice? Do not bother responding if you can tell it’s a mass text. Did you know they have text spamming software? It’s true! I read it on the internet. Good luck and I hope you know you are not alone. Oh! To all my male readers that do this…STOP! Pretty Please??

Until Next Time…Ciao

February 1, 2014 Posted by | Dating Advice, Uncategorized | , , , , , , , , , , | Leave a comment