Single in Sin City

A good girls survival guide to dating in Las Vegas

Should I Call Him or Not???

I am beginning to think I am too distant during the initial stages of dating. Unfortunately, I have been on a lot of initial dates lately. Most of them have been jerks or creepers. Some of them have bored me to death. (No I’m not super picky but I need some personality because I like to laugh and have fun.) A couple of them might have been steady dating material. BUT…..I seem to lose them (I’m referring to the good ones-the boring ones and jerks/creepers ALWAYS call me back) after a few dates.  I do not usually call first and I only randomly text. But hey..I am a busy woman and I don’t really know them yet. So…I am probably too stand offish.

Why? Well one of them told me so.Then he told me he would like it if I called him. Then I blew it by not calling. I know what you’re thinking! “Geesh Sara why didn’t you call him?” I didn’t call him because I am an idiot-derr. Or maybe I just wasn’t that into him-lol! My point isn’t that specific guy anyways because I am not pining over him…but….I did start thinking about what he said. He described me as hard to read. So this might be a problem-eh? I recently heard a story about the opposite. (Which is why I even started thinking about this issue in the first place.)

A man I know was telling me about this woman he was dating. He went on three dates with her. He called me one day and was complaining about how often she called/text.GUESS how many times she was contacting him??? She was calling him 4 times a day and texting him at least 6 times a day. Who has effin time for that? That is excessive. Right? No wonder his reaction was one of annoyance. In return, he finally got fed up when she woke him up on a Saturday and he dumped her. Bless her heart. She spooked him off. Stalker

watching you

So it appears that other women do call the guys they are just starting to date more than I do. (Obviously too much is not good either.) Here’s my new self challenge to myself. The next guy I meet that I actually really like (unfortunately there have not been many) I will make an effort to be a little more interested-well to act a little more interested. Maybe the average Las Vegas male needs that? Moral for the day: It’s okay to let a man know you’re interested. However, please be sure you don’t become a bugaboo.

Until next time…Ciao

 

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January 23, 2013 - Posted by | First Dates, Mistakes, Uncategorized | , , , ,

23 Comments »

  1. Bugaboo, I like that term! And agree worth you. There’s a visible line between letting him know you’re interested and being an annoying Amy. Good resolution for your future dating self!

    Comment by Audrey | January 23, 2013 | Reply

    • Thank you! I don’t want to be an annoying Amy either 🙂

      Comment by datinginvegas | January 23, 2013 | Reply

  2. I think with this online dating thing – that the guys really see their dates as more expendable. I mean … it’s quite easy for them to pick up another bit of fluff … right? And Vegas man – does any male there actually want to settle down? It is just full of so many creeps! I really feel for you 😦 Lots of bad memories.

    Comment by phantasyphanatic | January 23, 2013 | Reply

    • I was just talking about the online dating thing! Too many choices for men and women. I am not making that my only dating venue and I’m honestly tired of it already.

      Comment by datinginvegas | January 23, 2013 | Reply

      • Yeah – same here and I have only been on a couple of dates already. It’s frustrating, but I feel like I have no choice – I never get approached by guys when I am am out and about. And I move around so much that it is really hard for me to build up a close knit group of friends with other guys that I might be able to date. So back it is to Reject City (aka: online dating – where love goes to die)

        Comment by phantasyphanatic | January 24, 2013

  3. I dunno. I think it’s the guy’s role to take the risk of putting out there, “I’m interested.” If he doesn’t have the balls to do that, how will I trust him to watch out for me as our relationship deepens? I’m old-fashioned, and I’ve thrown my trust around casually in the past, to my detriment, so I am a bit more of a closed book now. I’m not purposely playing hard to get, but the right guy will be able to handle that. Theoretically.

    Comment by fishingforbicycles | January 23, 2013 | Reply

    • That’s how I feel too but I think I am going to adjust it a little 🙂

      Comment by datinginvegas | January 23, 2013 | Reply

      • Yea — I used to be committed to the “he needs to pursue me” idea. I think at the outset it can go either way … you put yourself out there first or he does. Someone has to. I think it’s the second/third dates (um, when that becomes an option for me 🙂 ) that are trickier. I think if after you go on a date and he’s not calling/emailing, he’s not interested. There was a book mannnnny years ago called “He’s Just Not That Into You” … some solid observations.

        Comment by yourmasterdater | February 16, 2013

  4. Just as women want indicators of interest from men, we want them back too. If a guy prompts for you to call or text him, then if you’re interested *at all* then you should make the effort to do so, at least once. You don’t have to hound him, but give some effort. I’ve had many potential dates fizzle out because the woman never deigned herself to call or text me after a request to do so. I’m not going to chase women around all day. I want to be chased after and wanted a bit too.

    Also, I find it ironic that I no longer live in Las Vegas, yet found your blog after I moved. If you want advice on LV men, I may or may not be the right one to give you that advice. lol

    Comment by New Single Guy | January 24, 2013 | Reply

    • Yes that is ironic! I have often thought I might need to move to meet a normal guy 🙂 I understand your point of view and I agree. A good guy deserves to feel wanted too. (key word being good guy)

      Comment by datinginvegas | January 24, 2013 | Reply

      • Key words indeed.

        Comment by New Single Guy | January 24, 2013

    • Just read your post about revealing your hometown. I am a second generation native of Las Vegas and my kids are 3rd…we are out there…But boy howdy are you right about the dating scene.

      Comment by datinginvegas | January 26, 2013 | Reply

      • The dating scene there may even be worse than where I moved to… :p

        Comment by New Single Guy | January 26, 2013

  5. I’ve been accused of being too stand offish as well…and “too independent for your own good.” Ugh. Why? I NEVER text/email/call first. Maybe I should? I’ve read “Why Men Love B**ches” too many times. Great read.

    Comment by twochicsandablog | January 24, 2013 | Reply

    • Oh I have been told I am too independent too…Sucks cuz I think truly strong women are a wonderful and rare commodity but perhaps I am biased 🙂

      Comment by datinginvegas | January 26, 2013 | Reply

  6. I never call a guy…if he is interested he calls me. I will send a quick text to let him know I had a great time or whatever, but I don’t call – just me I guess.

    Comment by LjS | January 24, 2013 | Reply

  7. […] to Date in Las Vegas wrote a post about the eternal question: Should I call him or not?? Like Vegas, I am also “beginning to think I am too distant during the initial stages of […]

    Pingback by To Call or Not to Call « fishing for bicycles | January 25, 2013 | Reply

  8. Riffed off your post here: http://fishingforbicycles.wordpress.com/2013/01/23/to-call-or-not-to-call/

    Maybe I AM too high-maintenance. Or…I just have standards. And agree that online dating is significantly lower investment, which I’m currently rather frustrated with as well.

    Comment by fishingforbicycles | January 25, 2013 | Reply

  9. […] already vowed to show more interest in the next guy I am really intrigued by as I stated in Should I Call Him or Not?  (Hee hee hee – I am feeling mighty fancy with that.) We were even contemplating showing […]

    Pingback by I.N.D.E.P.E.N.D.E.N.T « How to Date in Las Vegas | February 4, 2013 | Reply

  10. […] let me back up for a minute and explain. I wrote a post titled Should I Call Him or Not.  This was the beginning for me, You see we are taught all these rules like: Don’t call for […]

    Pingback by It’s NOT Playing, It’s Dating – Practical Dating Advice « How to Date in Las Vegas | February 12, 2013 | Reply

  11. I loved this post. I have taken a less is more approach to digital communication when it comes to dating. I don’t Facebook friend anyone right away sometimes waiting a few months before i do, I let my dates know I would rather talk on the phone than text constantly. I tell them I blog but I don’t give the web address for a few months. etc. I adopted this approach after my last GF. We had been going out for three months and the digital communication from her end was constant between Facebook, texting, email, and calling a few times a day. We would then get together and she would get mad at me that I am being distant, aloof and uncommunicative (which is not true I am very verbal and converse quite well). I responded “Between the non stop Facebook, email, texting and phone calls we are in constant communication all day ever day! I’ve got nothing left to say as it’s all been said already! There is nothing left we can talk about.” Point is I’m adopting a more old fashioned approach of actual phone calls in an in person conversations.

    Comment by mitchbeinghonest | February 16, 2013 | Reply

    • I agree 100%. I like the whole old fashioned approach-period. I miss the days of boy meets girl, boy dates girl, if it doesn’t work then boys meets a new girl. That’s why I’m not serial dating anymore. Thanks for reading and thanks even more for sharing.

      Comment by datinginvegas | February 16, 2013 | Reply


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