Single in Sin City

A good girls survival guide to dating in Las Vegas

It’s NOT Playing, It’s Dating – Practical Dating Advice

Being single has helped me grow as a person. It really has! OK-it still kinda sucks BUT I have grown! As usual I over-analyzed the entire process and I made it waaaaay harder than it is. I read all these theories on dating and the “game of dating.” Well I would like to introduce everyone to MY dating advice….drum roll please…..

It’s only a game when you’re dating a player. It IS NOT a game. It is life and deals with real people. If a man I want to date chooses to make it a game…well I am NOT playing his reindeer games!

However, let me back up for a minute and explain. I wrote a post titled Should I Call Him or Not.  This was the beginning for me, You see we are taught all these rules like: Don’t call for three days, never call a man first, be interested but not too interested-blah blah blah. It’s stupid and it’s not good advice. Ladies, I want to share my wisdom. ****Take it for what it’s worth****

  • Men like to know you are interested.
  • If a man waits three days to call you he’s not that into you-for real.
  • It’s okay to put your feelings out there.

I have to address the last one really quick. This applies to all the I.N.D.E.P.E.N.D.E.N.T. women out there. (I also need to share some background info quickly.) I experienced a horrible childhood where I was often left to raise myself. In my world, people always broke promises. As an adult I have only really loved two men. One died and one abandoned me. What did that leave? It left a very strong woman who does not risk emotional rejection. Why would I when everyone has always let me down? Oh and hey-I hate pity. There are people who have had much harder lives than me. I am explaining why I – and so many women – are afraid to risk pain. Ladies: You can’t have any type of real love if you don’t risk rejection. BUT..you can do it! It starts with dropping the games and the cold front and saying to someone worthy: “Hey, I’d like to see you” or “Hey I just called to say hello and hear your voice.” Start small but start. Let me continue with my advice.

  • Dating is ONLY a game when you are dating a PLAYER. (Can’t stress that enough)
  • If a man doesn’t have time for you he’s not interested.
  • A man will not choose you because you’re pretty.

What the what?? Did she just say that?? Yes I did. I am guilty of it. In fact, I was guilty of assuming men -um good men- would flock to me because I am attractive. No I am not conceited but well….I just figured. I am a catch and I am pretty and I am in good shape and I am successful and I can still do the splits at my age-yadda yadda yadda. Do you notice all the “I’s” in there? You will attract a good man with a nice outer package but you will not KEEP a good man with a nice presentation alone. Ladies: Have you ever seen a nice guy with a woman and you wondered how she got so lucky. (Come on I know you have. I have too.) I will tell you why with my next point.

  • Men need a woman that makes them feel special. (not just a woman that looks good.)
  • Dating is not complicated – we make it so

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Seriously isn’t dating sometimes like this? Just a big WTF ???

  • If the man we are talking to keeps disappearing and coming back – you’re not his primary focus.
  • We should not be dating several men at once.

Yep I said we should not be dating several men at once. If you find a good man, why shouldn’t you invest just a little of your energy into getting to know him first? If you are just dating for the sake of dating, I wonder why? I already made my stand against serial dating. I am not going to convince you to agree with me either. Serial dating is….errr….interesting. BUT I am busy and it IS exhausting. I am a single mother with a very busy career. Who has time to waste on players and jerks? If you do have time rock on. However, I think it will be pretty hard to get to know a really good guy when you are dating three others. How can you make him feel special? Oh and if you’re worried about him dating tons of women-STOP. If he is, he won’t make time for you and he’s a player and turning the idea of dating into a game. Ya get my drift? It’s only a game when you’re dating a player. Real men want you to call them (not stalk them call them-derr)…Say it with me ladies…”It’s only a GAME when you’re dating a PLAYER.” It’s just not that complicated. I feel like I missed something but I was really eager to share this once my theory transformed into a belief. I hope it helps someone beside me and my BFF.

***Disclaimer-I know that some of you may be younger or at a different point in your life. I can only share the perspective of a 33-year-old single mother with a career because that’s who I am. I am sharing advice for women who are looking for something solid and stable. Take it for what it’s worth and from the demographic it is coming from.***

Ciao for now!

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February 12, 2013 - Posted by | Dating Advice, Relationships, Uncategorized | , , , , , , , , , ,

16 Comments »

  1. I DEFINITELY struggle with the “it’s okay to put your feelings out there.” I’m not very open with my emotions but that has nothing to do with men. I’m not a put my feelings out there type of person lol. My blog is the closest I’ve ever been with sharing a lot of my feelings. It’s been therapeutic that’s for sure. At least I know it’s something I need to work on.

    Great post, as usual. I’m a bit younger than you and I don’t have kids but I appreciate your words of wisdom!

    Comment by dsantos85 | February 12, 2013 | Reply

    • Thank you for reading it! It doesn’t matter if you have kids-its how you approach people in your life. I’m with you, I am not a put your inner feelings out there either. Actually, I might do that. My biggest problem is I used to close down on people before they could hurt me. Kinda as a self protective mode. So at the first sign of rejection I would just clam wall up-it’s a hard habit to break but I think that’s what’s setting me apart (and not in a good way.) Good luck and I am glad you are sharing your feelings-it’s good for ya!

      Comment by datinginvegas | February 13, 2013 | Reply

  2. It’s brilliant and is speaks to what you experienced and will not hold anyone responsible for. A strong woman is all the ingredients found here and a deep love that can be illuminated when’s she finds her true self inside of herself to give to him. Beautiful post my friend… Absolutely beautiful within passion!

    Comment by Clark Kent | February 13, 2013 | Reply

    • Thank you so much!! That means a lot.

      Comment by datinginvegas | February 13, 2013 | Reply

  3. I love this post… hate the game playing and dont do it … I dont wait for a man to send a stupid text as I am perfectly capable of sending stupid texts of my own … I am 20 years older than you with grown up kids but it resonated with me too … for strong women everywhere I believe … THANK YOU x

    Comment by Kay BeeBee | February 13, 2013 | Reply

    • Kay I LOVE your style! I do think it applies to strong women-no matter what age.

      Comment by datinginvegas | February 13, 2013 | Reply

  4. Thank you for putting this out there! I have believed this for a long time. I don’t play games, and I prefer to man up and cut someone loose rather than play games. I don’t have the time nor patience for a man-child. Love this post!

    Comment by ModernIdeals | February 13, 2013 | Reply

    • Thank you so much. It really dawned on me slowly. Why should I be playing games like a child? If I like someone, they’re going to know it and if they’re not worthy, I’m going to cut him loose! I love the phrase “Man-child” nice!

      Comment by datinginvegas | February 13, 2013 | Reply

  5. “it’s only a game if you’re dating a player” …great line, and so true!

    Comment by amjones73 | February 21, 2013 | Reply

  6. You are not alone! And Well Written. I agree 100%. It’s so hard to convince yourself not to “play by the rules” but its true there shouldnt be rules in a real relationship. A real man is going to fall for you because of who you are not wheather you text or call when you’re supposed to. THanks. Love the BLOG

    Comment by shelia | February 22, 2013 | Reply

    • Thank you! I love that so many people can relate to the idea-especially women. Yes, a REAL man will like you for you not because you followed a set of rules. Dating is not a game 🙂 Thanks again from reading!

      Comment by datinginvegas | February 22, 2013 | Reply

  7. […] Unless you’re dating a player..a player plays…I’ve written about it here. You see? The truth is it is real life and hopefully we are all grown ups. Yeah I know…most […]

    Pingback by Play By Your Own Rules | How to Date in Las Vegas | April 3, 2013 | Reply

  8. […] I don’t serial date or play games “if you are a woman getting played-you gotta click https://howtodateinlv.wordpress.com/2013/02/12/its-not-playing-its-dating-practical-dating-advice/ and read this-it will help” and I LOVE the freedom of that!) I will say I’ve seen my […]

    Pingback by Don’t Borrow Trouble – 5 things Women Do that Blow a Relationship! | How to Date in Las Vegas | April 26, 2013 | Reply

  9. […] fact I do not believe in any of those things….but I’ve written about that before..click here if you are curious.  However, this conversation made me start thinking about a lot of the […]

    Pingback by Ladies..Don’t Do This! « Single in Sin City | August 12, 2013 | Reply


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