Homeboys Got More Baggage Than the Airport

There once was a boy who thought he loved a girl whose eyes were blue. He had so much baggage he didn’t know what to do. He hurt her feelings and put her last over other things. So the girl finally hit him with a shoe.

Just kidding! I am no poet…or am I? The truth is I want to talk about a couple I knew that were just no gosh darn good for each other.

There was a couple that really had trouble from the start. They were both ending bad relationships and definitely not in any position to fall in love. Ironically, they did fall in love-well maybe-what do I know of that really? With nothing in common except the fact that they were both outrageously immature and proud of it, they sought comfort with each other. Any fool could see they were both broken from their failed marriages but no one could tell them this. The relationship actually lasted for about 1.5 years and might have made it all the way. However, over time the problems arose.

The problems were not the fact that the man was significantly older than the woman. The problems were not even their immaturity.(They both demonstrated that their child like ways transferred into poor communication and even poorer actions.) The problem was homeboy’s baggage and his incredibly selfish actions.  You see the combination of poor communication, immaturity and mistakes could have been worked out. What can never ever be fixed is someone projecting his past failures onto his new relationship. It.Just.Won’t.Work. In fact, once this man realized he really was a big coward and never intended to give the woman what she so desperately wanted from him (marriage-a normal happy marriage with someone she loved) he should have stopped seeing her.

He did not stop seeing her. He played with her and he used her and he made her feel like she was not worthy of commitment. He announced undying love while at the same time he acted like she was just another scheming woman. He told her he had never known a woman like her and then stated he was a failure at marriage and partnerships and could not do it again. He let her know he wants to spend the rest of his life with her and in the same breath told her he could never see himself living with her because of her children. He told her he changed his mind. Then he changed his mind again..then again.  This is what made him so selfish. This behavior is what made all of her friends and family hate him. What do you think the woman started doing?

The woman started crying more and feeling insecure. The woman guilted and then the woman walled off from him and became distant. She finally gave one hard push and away he went. She came back. She left. She came back again. He changed his mind. She came back. She left. On and on this went until both of them were behaving crazily. One day the woman realized she would never marry this man. Not because she didn’t love him but because she would never marry anyone that made her feel that unwanted. She dreamed of a man proposing out of love and desire not OBLIGATION. She left. She came back because…damn this woman was weak when it came to love. (I mean it was pathetic to watch towards the end.) The man changed his mind. He wanted to look at houses. He wanted them to move away together. She told him no. She left….and did not come back. She realized that her love did not matter. Nothing she did with him mattered. He needed to fix his fear of commitment or not. It was not her problem. Her problem was loving him. Loving him hurt.  So the woman decided to stop hurting herself. Life is hard enough.

The End….

What did I learn from this story???? Do NOT let your cowardice ruin a relationship.  If you can’t stop your baggage from hurting someone, let them go. Real love is about wanting the other person to be happy-even if it means you have to lose the person in order for that to happen. Also, do not let someone you love continue to hurt you. When it hurts more to be with someone than it does to be without them, it’s time to go. I have discovered that love is not enough. It takes two to make a relationship work.

PS: The woman is happy again. She has overcome so many things in the last year. Why would someone who once claimed to care want to take that happiness from her?