Getting Played: What’s it Feel Like?

Someone asked me recently what it feels like to date a player. I have been thinking about it ever since I read the question last weekend. My quick answer is it doesn’t feel good. Derr…It’s really not nice to play with someone’s head. I mean that’s a really crappy thing to do to someone who is dating with the good intentions of finding a partner. In fact, a player is why I started my blog.

I hate repeating myself but I entered the dating game late-like over a decade late. I never thought it would be hard. I mean I didn’t expect to run right out and find my true love but I really thought I would be beating great men off with sticks. HA HA HA! I really did just laugh out loud. I found idiots and sleezebags and drug users and jerks and weirdos.  Finding an actual nice man who caught my interest in the chemistry AND intellectual department was next to impossible.  I painfully discovered I was a BIG GIANT magnet for a player. Perhaps it was my lack of experience or my direct and independent nature that posed a challenge..I dunno? I beat myself up repeatedly over almost getting roughed up, on getting my feelings hurt and even stalked as a result of my inexperience. The result was my confidence came down several notches and I lost a small piece of my naivety. However,  I snapped out of that shiznit quick and decided to write. Soon thereafter, I discovered the method to spot a player and I am constantly trying to find different ways to educate anyone who is interested in avoiding them while dating. (If you want to troubleshoot a possible player situation, email me..I really do have that down.) I am not losing any sleep over any players ever again but I’ve been there.

So if you are asking me this as the player, the answer is that playing emotional games with a woman is horrible. It is demeaning and it is hurtful and it is what gives men a bad reputation. (not all men-I believe good men exist. I have one in my life.) I can honestly say there was one point in time when I had tears in my eyes over a jerk who totally took advantage of me that I actually understood why some women are bitter. Side note: If you are bitter…let that go too because it’s counterproductive.

My final opinion to your question: If you are an intentional player, shame on you. If you are in your twenties and just getting your feet wet..um okay. However, if you are in your mid thirties and beyond and still playing, I feel sorry for you. I guarantee that one day you will wake up at 60 and be all alone and perhaps that’s what you deserve. However, it’s not too late. We all make mistakes in life…just stop doing it. Treat women the way you would want someone to treat your daughter. Oh and psst: this advice goes both ways. To all my female players: Men are not your door mat. I am raising two boys and I don’t want them to be anywhere near a woman like that. Boom!

Until Next Time…Ciao!