Single in Sin City

A good girls survival guide to dating in Las Vegas

The Unintentional Player

Don’t hate the player, hate the game! No really, blame the player. However, sometimes a player doesn’t know they are playing. Just for fun, I googled “definition of a player.” Here is one of my favorite ones.

player
a guy who: 
(1) doesn’t understand the meaning of relationship 
(2) is in full reproductive mode 
(3) is very good at making girls think he is into them (also very proficient at breaking said girls hearts) 
(4) often “dates” several girls  (girls are often unaware of each other) 
(5) is an asshole!
don’t hate the player, hate the game? yeah right!
Here was another one. (I had to correct the grammar on these..just as a fyi)
player
A man or woman who hooks up with many different persons but commits to none and in that process ends up hurting some of those involved but there is a difference between player and asshole listed below as 1 and 2 and players generally being happy people until they are caught are opposites of the player hater who only hates because he can’t play or lost or has a girl who got her heart broke by one and is insecure
1 Male or female that has a lot of one night stands or short relationships with many people at once 2 Female or male who has several long-term aka ” i love you” relationships and tricks each into thinking she’s/he’s the one
I’m kinda shocked that 99% of the definitions refer to them as male. I have known some pretty crafty female players.  I have decided that I am going to create my own definition. Why not? It’s my blog yo!
Player
A man or woman who intentionally or unintentionally “plays” or misleads someone during the course of a relationship.
1. The male/female may know they are not looking for the same things but proceed to manipulate the other party for personal gain such as a. money b. sex c. convenience
2. The male/female may not realize they are not ready for a monogamous relationship yet attempt to develop one only to end up hurting the other party involved. This may be due to a. maturity level b. ignorance c. past baggage or emotional damage d. mental issues
Boom! I just wrote my own definition! Whose house???? Sara’s house!
Now that I am done tooting my own horn, I would like to quickly discuss unintentional players. The UP are possibly the most dangerous of all players. (yeah I am gonna use the acronym UP and for my slow friends…such as myself…this stands for Unintentional Player.) UP’s are dangerous because they are harder to spot. Why? UP’s are difficult to identify because they do not KNOW they are a player.  They have not reached a level of awareness in what they want. It’s one thing for someone to KNOW they are a player but to not know it is an entirely different issue. Before you even think of arguing, I challenge you to think of all the dumb people you know. Most of them do not realize it. ( At least I KNOW I’m stupid!) I wanted to write a list of things a UP does but I stopped. I stopped because the list looks the exact same way as what I’ve written about players. So here’s my advice.
Moral: Whether the person REALIZES they are playing with your feelings or not doesn’t matter. The point is that they are. I sympathize with UP’s because they have no level of self-awareness at all. They often flounder in relationships and do not even realize that the real problem is themselves. However, if a player wants to be a player…play on. Just don’t play with me! Ha!  I am not judging a player. However, my post and really my entire blog is to help people who want something real. I just caution everyone not to justify the actions of someone based on the fact that they don’t MEAN to.  Players don’t always know it. I guess that’s all I really have to say about that peeps.
Until next time….here’s a song…ciao!
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November 23, 2013 Posted by | Players, Uncategorized | , , , , , , , , , , , | Leave a comment

Getting Played: What’s it Feel Like?

Someone asked me recently what it feels like to date a player. I have been thinking about it ever since I read the question last weekend. My quick answer is it doesn’t feel good. Derr…It’s really not nice to play with someone’s head. I mean that’s a really crappy thing to do to someone who is dating with the good intentions of finding a partner. In fact, a player is why I started my blog.

I hate repeating myself but I entered the dating game late-like over a decade late. I never thought it would be hard. I mean I didn’t expect to run right out and find my true love but I really thought I would be beating great men off with sticks. HA HA HA! I really did just laugh out loud. I found idiots and sleezebags and drug users and jerks and weirdos.  Finding an actual nice man who caught my interest in the chemistry AND intellectual department was next to impossible.  I painfully discovered I was a BIG GIANT magnet for a player. Perhaps it was my lack of experience or my direct and independent nature that posed a challenge..I dunno? I beat myself up repeatedly over almost getting roughed up, on getting my feelings hurt and even stalked as a result of my inexperience. The result was my confidence came down several notches and I lost a small piece of my naivety. However,  I snapped out of that shiznit quick and decided to write. Soon thereafter, I discovered the method to spot a player and I am constantly trying to find different ways to educate anyone who is interested in avoiding them while dating. (If you want to troubleshoot a possible player situation, email me..I really do have that down.) I am not losing any sleep over any players ever again but I’ve been there.

So if you are asking me this as the player, the answer is that playing emotional games with a woman is horrible. It is demeaning and it is hurtful and it is what gives men a bad reputation. (not all men-I believe good men exist. I have one in my life.) I can honestly say there was one point in time when I had tears in my eyes over a jerk who totally took advantage of me that I actually understood why some women are bitter. Side note: If you are bitter…let that go too because it’s counterproductive.

My final opinion to your question: If you are an intentional player, shame on you. If you are in your twenties and just getting your feet wet..um okay. However, if you are in your mid thirties and beyond and still playing, I feel sorry for you. I guarantee that one day you will wake up at 60 and be all alone and perhaps that’s what you deserve. However, it’s not too late. We all make mistakes in life…just stop doing it. Treat women the way you would want someone to treat your daughter. Oh and psst: this advice goes both ways. To all my female players: Men are not your door mat. I am raising two boys and I don’t want them to be anywhere near a woman like that. Boom!

Until Next Time…Ciao!

September 3, 2013 Posted by | Personal Growth, Players, Uncategorized | , , , , , , , , , | Leave a comment