Single in Sin City

A good girls survival guide to dating in Las Vegas

You’re Probably being Played If…..

We’ve all wondered if it was happening to us. Well…maybe not you. If you’re one of the fortunate ones….good for you! However, most of us have. I have sat around and speculated that someone really liked me. He um…just didn’t know how to tell me. Maybe he is afraid of being hurt? Maybe he is scared by his feelings? Maybe he needs space? Maybe he really is a top-secret spy that can only call me on Friday nights because of his job? Um….yeah…maybe? So what’s the secret?

The secret is ACTIONS! OOps! Guess it’s not a secret anymore.  In an effort to be useful (yes some of these..heck MOST of these I have written about before but I seem to get LOTS of questions about players.) Anyways, in an effort to be useful, I have a bunch of examples below.

  • You might be getting played if the guy/girl will never introduce you to his/her friends
  • You are definitely getting played (or at least not considered a “serious potential dating partner” if you bump into his/her friends and you do not get introduced. (Please do not take this. If you feel hurt by it it’s because….you should. I’m sorry if that hurts. Find someone who deserves you.However if you don’t care, rock on with your bad self!)
  • You are probably getting played if he/she only calls you on Friday/Saturday..or whatever day. (If they are interested, it’s not just about that once a week hook-up call.)
  • You are probably getting played if you have been seeing the man/woman for a consistent amount of time and you have never been invited to his/her house. (DANGER DANGER..it is quite possible they are married/shacking….don’t blow a gasket…I said possible.)
  • You’re probably being played if you do not know what he/she does for a living….after like the first date!
  • You’re probably being played if you always meet up at random, last-minute requests. (Not only that, but I find that rude.)
  • You’re probably being played if your interest is not being reciprocated. (If you are giving WAY more that you are receiving, it’s time to check in with your brain and think about the relationship logically. This sucks..I know.)

There are so many more examples I could write. I would honestly love to hear any other opinions. Playing with someone’s feelings is messed up yo! I prefer to keep my advice simple…

Moral: If the actions of your love interest are questionable…take a moment to think about it. It hurts to have your feelings played with. Keep your head up and leave yourself open for someone who will adore you….I know they’re right around the corner.

Until Next Time…Ciao!

 

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June 12, 2014 Posted by | Dating Advice, Uncategorized | , , , , , , , , , , , | Leave a comment

7 Traits of The “Vegas Guy”

douchebag epidemic

Las Vegas IS a trip! Men in this city are too! I’ve written about the “Vegas Woman.” Now it’s time to write about ‘dem crazy men in this city! I love lists! I really do! Here are seven very common signs that “Vegas Men” have.

1. They have a google voice phone number. (There is no way they are giving you their actual  phone number..geesh)

2. They will be regulars on most dating sites. (They have to keep a healthy inventory as they keep searching for the hottest/best/most successful female.)

douchebag-on-steroids-1

3. The will consistently name drop. (They know people who know people yo.)

4. Are 45 and have never been in a committed relationship. (Why choose one when you can have many?)

5. Know every night club by heart. (They ARE living IN Vegas baby!)

6. They may get hair highlights (Once again not all men with highlights are bad or players but…)

7. Can you say designer labels and lots of knowledge about them? (I love nice things. I am not saying this alone makes a “Vegas Guy” but it is a common trait.)

*****Qualifier: I am not suggesting that a couple of these traits makes a typical “Vegas Guy.” I am only listing common traits I see among them. Also, I never said I had all the answers….this is my blog and my humble opinion.*****

Moral: The key here is status and shallowness.  A “Vegas Guy” is mainly into appearance and the Vegas lifestyle. I do not recommend dating these men if you are looking for something solid and meaningful. It is hard to find anything meaningful when this type of man is usually on the lookout for something better. Who wants to feel like they are constantly being evaluated? I know I don’t.

Until Next Time…Ciao!

 

February 24, 2014 Posted by | Las Vegas Tips, Uncategorized, Women Advice | , , , , , , , , , , , | Leave a comment

The Unintentional Player

Don’t hate the player, hate the game! No really, blame the player. However, sometimes a player doesn’t know they are playing. Just for fun, I googled “definition of a player.” Here is one of my favorite ones.

player
a guy who: 
(1) doesn’t understand the meaning of relationship 
(2) is in full reproductive mode 
(3) is very good at making girls think he is into them (also very proficient at breaking said girls hearts) 
(4) often “dates” several girls  (girls are often unaware of each other) 
(5) is an asshole!
don’t hate the player, hate the game? yeah right!
Here was another one. (I had to correct the grammar on these..just as a fyi)
player
A man or woman who hooks up with many different persons but commits to none and in that process ends up hurting some of those involved but there is a difference between player and asshole listed below as 1 and 2 and players generally being happy people until they are caught are opposites of the player hater who only hates because he can’t play or lost or has a girl who got her heart broke by one and is insecure
1 Male or female that has a lot of one night stands or short relationships with many people at once 2 Female or male who has several long-term aka ” i love you” relationships and tricks each into thinking she’s/he’s the one
I’m kinda shocked that 99% of the definitions refer to them as male. I have known some pretty crafty female players.  I have decided that I am going to create my own definition. Why not? It’s my blog yo!
Player
A man or woman who intentionally or unintentionally “plays” or misleads someone during the course of a relationship.
1. The male/female may know they are not looking for the same things but proceed to manipulate the other party for personal gain such as a. money b. sex c. convenience
2. The male/female may not realize they are not ready for a monogamous relationship yet attempt to develop one only to end up hurting the other party involved. This may be due to a. maturity level b. ignorance c. past baggage or emotional damage d. mental issues
Boom! I just wrote my own definition! Whose house???? Sara’s house!
Now that I am done tooting my own horn, I would like to quickly discuss unintentional players. The UP are possibly the most dangerous of all players. (yeah I am gonna use the acronym UP and for my slow friends…such as myself…this stands for Unintentional Player.) UP’s are dangerous because they are harder to spot. Why? UP’s are difficult to identify because they do not KNOW they are a player.  They have not reached a level of awareness in what they want. It’s one thing for someone to KNOW they are a player but to not know it is an entirely different issue. Before you even think of arguing, I challenge you to think of all the dumb people you know. Most of them do not realize it. ( At least I KNOW I’m stupid!) I wanted to write a list of things a UP does but I stopped. I stopped because the list looks the exact same way as what I’ve written about players. So here’s my advice.
Moral: Whether the person REALIZES they are playing with your feelings or not doesn’t matter. The point is that they are. I sympathize with UP’s because they have no level of self-awareness at all. They often flounder in relationships and do not even realize that the real problem is themselves. However, if a player wants to be a player…play on. Just don’t play with me! Ha!  I am not judging a player. However, my post and really my entire blog is to help people who want something real. I just caution everyone not to justify the actions of someone based on the fact that they don’t MEAN to.  Players don’t always know it. I guess that’s all I really have to say about that peeps.
Until next time….here’s a song…ciao!

November 23, 2013 Posted by | Players, Uncategorized | , , , , , , , , , , , | Leave a comment

Players Always Come Back!

Players always circle back on me. It’s like I’m on their quarterly rotation or something! So I received a message from a real douche..err gem of a man yesterday that basically asked me casually if I could help him find a job. He stated, “I noticed you’re on LinkedIn, do you have a job for me?” I waited and I debated. I am working on growing as a person. I should be mature and ignore him. This is the only man who ever officially played me. Why in the world would I reply?

Well….The answer is cuz I’m immature….derr. So I answered in a very lady-like manner. I replied with, “I didn’t know you were looking for a job. I have a great Proctologist I can refer you to.” See! I can keep it classy! He responded with, “I’m not but judging by your response, it sounds like you need one.” Now I never loved this cat. In fact, I don’t even know who he really is. You can’t feel deeply for someone you don’t know. He was sarcastic like me with a quick wit that amused me and kind of nice.  I allowed him to crawl inside my head during a time when I was very very vulnerable and he took advantage of that. (Although I am certainly responsible for letting him.) However, I don’t really care much other than he is still a mystery to me. Oh and like I said he is really my only “mistake.”  He doesn’t qualify to even be considered an ex.  I haven’t seen him in over a year. This man proceeded to tell me that he viewed my profile because he missed me. HA! How very amusing to me.

Captain Dumb Ass…we will call him that… is not a nice man. You can refer to any of my posts about players and see he fits the stereotype to a T. Everything you tell him, he pushes back on me. I call him a player, he says, “No you’re the player.” When I tried to stop seeing him over a year ago (during the brief tenure of our dating) he pushed back HARD to keep me. He didn’t do this because he cared. He did it because players like a challenge. In my naive and inexperienced head I thought, “Wow he must really be into me because he’s fighting for me.” Although when I paid attention to him, he came and went as he pleased including answering calls and texts. It was on his time frame. That’s because I was only interesting to him when there was a game running in his head. When it ended, I was stung. I mean he was only one of two men that EVER really caught my interest in my single adventure. (The other I am happily dating so score for me.) However, I didn’t see his behavior coming and I was just caught 100% off guard. I felt very used and I am about honesty here..I was used.

I will never forget what a female friend said to me during that time. (A female player friend by the way..ironic??) She told me, “He will be back.” I told here there was no way he would ever contact me again. He contacted me a little over three months ago to tell me he saw me out one night and to see how I was doing. I didn’t feed into it then. Players always come back. I’ve been on enough first and second dates with them to know that now. However, I shouldn’t have participated in conversation with him this time.   I engaged back because I was having a bad day and I felt like being mean.  This is why I am writing about it tonight.

Advice for today?  If you ever wondered if you were dating a player, one of the absolute biggest signs is he/she will circle back on you.  (psst: this has to be in conjunction with a bunch of other things.) Do not cave when they come back.  If the only two men were left on the planet were him and Pee Wee Herman, I’d be loving me some Pee Wee… Just sayin… To an intentional player, this circle back game is fun for them. They like to see if they can get back in after they’ve treated you like garbage.  If you have ever had someone play with your feelings….just know you’re not alone. Learn from it, accept it, forgive yourself, forgive the other person and move on. I will pray extra hard for Captain Dumb Ass. I hope he finds a way to stop. At 44, I expected a man to be done with the games…guess not! Remember to always play by your own rules when dating and never someone else’s.

Until Next Time..Ciao!

September 19, 2013 Posted by | Players, Relationships, Uncategorized | , , , , , , , , , , , , | Leave a comment

Qualities of a Male Player: The 5 most common signs

Oh Mr. Player…I GOT YOUR NUMBER! In fact, I am confident that I can spot a player and be right almost every time. It’s all about patterns of behavior. He may be a dumb ass  guy or a smooth operator, but a male player will always demonstrate some common symptoms. It is amazing. I have compared the list below against several case studies (besides my own personal experiences in the past) and the results are consistent. Players really do have specific characteristics.

*****While players ALWAYS do what I am about to mention. that does not mean ONLY players do these things. I mean there are extenuating circumstances for everything. Don’t go breaking up with your boyfriend over one symptom (Keep calm and follow me all the way through this-will ya?)*****

david_beckham

(Is that David Beckham? Yeah it is!)

PLAYERS WILL ALWAYS:

  1. Come up with grandiose lines like: “I didn’t know women like you existed.” Then he will disappear for a significant amount of time. (He’s baited you and now he’s giving you time to crave him. Eeeeew A-Hole)
  2. Repeatedly tell you how he is not about playing games. (A male player is always trying to “play” with your head. Look at his actions not his words. Is he really into you or are you just being spoon fed his BS like it was Hagen Daz?)
  3. Pursue you harder the more you resist. He will be patient and persistent if you push away. (A player loves a challenge. DO NOT think that just because he keeps trying that he cares. Why did you push him away? Be careful here-he may care or he may be playing. If this is the only sign I suggest you keep an open mind and observe. If he stops communicating or calling once he gets what he wants or once you start showing interest-RUN! Oh and quit pushing while you’re at it cuz it’s dumb..just sayin..)
  4. Make you feel very important while investing as little time as possible with you in order to get what they seek-money, sex, car rides-who knows? (Why? Because they don’t care honey…I’m sorry but it’s true. Think about the last man who loved you or that genuinely cared about you. Did that man always try to get time with you? Don’t you like to spend time with someone you are interested in? I am not saying ALL the time but when you are into someone, you make an effort. Every man who has really liked me has made me feel this way. If they do not, I follow my own advice and stop responding. They are either playing me or not that into me. So I move on sister. We are strong women and we don’t need that crap.)
  5. Come back! A player always comes back. It is freaking hilarious! (I have had 5 of them circle back in the last 3 months. When you blow off a player, they will contact you again. It highly amuses me. In fact,  my only really painful experience from a player was a guy I got very caught up in for about three months. Um I didn’t love him but I was really digging him. That fool played me so hard-core and then just blew me off. SO I flew off the handle at him. I mean I told him off hoodrat style. It was like he fed on this. He kept coming back. Then I blew him of for real. I stopped responding. Mr. Player moved on to his next victim. My girlfriend (who is a player herself..heehee) told me that he will be back. I argued that he would not be back. He contacted me last week. UN  FREAKING BELIEVABLE!!! In his case, he saw me out on a date and felt the need to contact me to see how I was. Yeah I am just fine dipstick..I didn’t even skip a beat in telling him how happy I was.  Double Triple Dog Eeeeewwww!) I challenge you on this one. How many players have circled back on you? Do you think they suddenly missed you. Uh no-they just got bored sweetie. Please trust me on this.

My advice?

LADIES: Please do not let one sign I listed make you freak out. Consider the actions of the man. I say it all the time. When a man wants you, he will make it known.

MEN: Look, I am not a male hater. In fact I am raising two men. However, I can’t count the times I have shed tears over a man misleading me. During the course of being single, I have been so upset, shocked and used by men that I have almost given up entirely.  If you are a player, I am not judging but please consider what you are doing. Women are strong. However, sometimes our strength lies in our gentle nature. Don’t hurt us. Would you want your daughter treated that way? Besides, if you ever want a meaningful relationship you are gonna need to knock it off yo. There is nothing more pathetic than a washed up player. 

Until next time…Ciao!

June 13, 2013 Posted by | Players, Relationships, Uncategorized | , , , , , , , | 2 Comments