Single in Sin City

A good girls survival guide to dating in Las Vegas

It’s Too Freaking Soon!!

I have a friend that recently called off his engagement. By recently I mean like three months ago. In that time frame he has been rapidly dating. He has been serial dating. I am not judging him for this. Although I do think he is in a dangerous state of mind to be dating, that is his business. What I do think is unhealthy is how fast he has been introducing these women to his daughters.

My friend has two daughters and what we share in common is the fact that they lost their mother in 2012 just like my sons lost their father. If you do not know the pain and struggles involved with trying to fill in a whole you can’t possibly fill for your children, I am very grateful. I would never wish that fate on anyone. On my better days, I just feel inadequate. During a tough day, I am lost and helpless and just try to keep a smile on my face. However….I am derailing. I share this because these kids are in a different spot than most. They have lost something vital in their lives at an age where it is very difficult to cope. The last thing any of them need is to get overly attached. It is for this reason that I am so concerned about him and his awesome daughters.

In the last three weeks, the girls have met four different women. One woman that he has dated more regularly than the others has been spending a LOT of time with them.  The night he told me they all had family dinner and put up the Christmas tree together I felt shocked. I was compelled to say something. I knew it had to be gentle and non condemning.   I planned out what to say carefully. I care about him and his daughters. He has only known this woman for three weeks BUT he may care about her. However, before I could say something, he called me panicked to tell me the woman said she loved him! She loves him in three weeks? REALLLLLLLLLLY?????? “What did you say to her in response,” I queried. “I told her it was way too soon to say that,” he answered.  HOLY BETSY SCHMUCKERS! What is homegirl thinking?

I gently said, “I think you should slow this down. Don’t you think she has been spending a lot of time with the girls and getting really attached?” He replied, “Yes I do.” I asked him, “Why can’t you just date and get to know her? Maybe you should leave the family time out until you’re sure.” He said,”That sounds like a good idea.”  So at least I said something. His life is his to live. I felt much better after at least voicing my concern. I am only concerned because I can relate so well. The girls need a positive female role model in their lives. I get it. I would give almost anything to give my sons a father figure. BUT…I need my kids to see me making good decisions too. I can’t run the risk of them LOSING another father figure. I can’t just go out to the store and buy one. If I could, trust me, I would in a heartbeat. Life doesn’t work that way. Life isn’t very fair-even to kids who deserve better. Those girls deserved a better hand of cards than what was dealt to them BUT they do have a parent that loves them dearly. That’s more than I had.

Moral for today? I’m going to make this short and sweet. If you are a single parent…be careful with who you let into your children’s life. Oh and before I forget….If someone you have been seeing for only three weeks professes to be madly in love with you and it is not love at first sight with you too…run! That’s the kind of obsession that can become dangerous.Kind of cray cray like homegirl below…just sayin! 

obsessive women

Until Next Time…Be careful and Ciao!

 

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December 21, 2013 Posted by | Dating Advice, Relationships, Single Parents, Uncategorized | , , , , , , , , , , , | 1 Comment

It’s Just One of Those Days..

Do you ever have one of those days where you just feel like punching someone in the face? I mean if one more person demands something of you or even looks at you they are going to see you get full-on crazy! It has a spiraling effect. Little things start to bother you. That car better stop riding so close to me. My employee better start SELLING something. I mean, say what one more time! Boohoo I am sleeping alone or should I say NOT sleeping alone. How dare someone not know intuitively that you wanted someone to commiserate with you and then distract you? How can they not psychically know you wanted to be comforted? Damn them!

The truth is my problems are my own and they always have been. I am responsible for my own happiness and always have been. Every once in a while I am humbled by this truth. My pastor was addressing this last Sunday. He discussed that 90% of everything we do is in reaction to what is done to us. We have very little control over what happens to us. Our real control is how we respond. The key is to show the same grace we are given. To act out of love. Boy howdy that’s hard to do. So here’s the good news to my post.

It’s okay to have one of those days. Just try to contain the damage….I think I could have done a lot worse tonight. I am ornery! (Not sure how much grace I showed but baby steps!) For a little while I felt like chewing on glass. I mean I was getting on my own nerves. I don’t want to be mean to anyone so I avoided people. Tonight I have no vent, no outlet, and here I am at 12am not asleep. Uggh! But……it’s okay.  Advice: Just breathe…this too shall pass.  Also, realize it’s just one of those days. Until next time..here’s a song.

Ciao!

October 15, 2013 Posted by | Personal Growth, Uncategorized | , , , , , , | Leave a comment

YOU DID WHAT???? (what woman know they shouldn’t do but still do)

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I could write about this forever. If it isn’t something I did, it is something a friend did while dating or while in love. Sometimes certain men just bring out the crazy in a woman. If you are a man and reading this, I don’t know why. I really don’t. All I know is that I am a fairly intelligent woman that has managed to embarrass myself on several occasions. (I have even been in the act of doing it and had the rational part of my brain tell me to stop and ignored it.) If it’s any consolation, it usually takes a special man to make us nuts. I mean I don’t behave like a mental case for just anyone!

For the ladies I have created a list of what we really should never do – NO MATTER WHAT. I plan on adding to it as time passes.

  • Sit out front of a guy’s house.  I am innocent of this one! but I know some friends that are not. Ladies, please respect yourself more than this. He aint worth it.
  • Cyber stalk your boyfriend. I am hanging my head in shame because I have cyber stalked, cyber snooped and cyber investigated PS: You never enjoy what you find….so stop 🙂
  • Get upset at some guy you’re dating and send him a long, crazy text or message saying goodbye. Guilty again. I do not know why I think it will make me feel better. I actually feel better when I manage to just ignore the dude. It only makes us look like we care more than them and if we invest that much time we probably do. When men stop being interested, they just disappear. So why should we be different?
  • Name calling – I am not much of a name caller myself but have been known to throw a sharp word around with the best of them. Think about it: Showing your pain by acting childish is never ideal.
  • Do not throw things while in an argument. I have outgrown this move. I confess that for the first 5 years of my marriage, I threw ash trays, candy dishes, a soda can (that one was kinda funny.) What can I say?…but I’m sorry
  • Dump the same guy over and over. I see this happen a lot. I have been guilty of it in the past and I warn you: No matter how cute you are, the guy will get tired of it. No one wants to feel like a dumping ground.

December 5, 2012 Posted by | Mistakes, Women Advice | , , , | 14 Comments