Single in Sin City

A good girls survival guide to dating in Las Vegas

What a Girl Wants

An exasperated (that was totally a $0.50 word-I know it cuz I spelled it wrong the first time) oops okay take two! An exasperated man confronted me tonight with the question, “What is it you want in a man Sara?”  Well this got me thinking about what I really do want.

The first thing I wanted to do was bust out in song and dance from the Grease 2 movie, “If you really want to know, what I want in a guy, well I’m looking for a dream on a mean machine……” (Some of you can pretend you didn’t see that movie…mmmmhmmmm) Anyways I refrained because I didn’t want to behave like a dumbass child. Well I didn’t want to behave as a bigger dumbass  errr child. So as I was saying, after I bit my tongue about singing, I had to really consider what was safe to tell this man.

This is a nice guy. I chose to be honest with him. I told him I had a horrible, flesh-eating disease and that the treatment is in Poland and lasts 3 years….okay I didn’t sing AND I didn’t lie. I told him an abbreviated version of the truth.

I’m looking for a best friend that I can’t keep my hands off of. I want a companion and a partner in crime and someone who doesn’t get upset over my childish ways.

That WAS the truth, I just couldn’t find a way to also say….

He’s a real smooth brother, never in a rush
And he gives me goose pimples with every single touch
Spends quality time with his kids when he can
Secure in his manhood cuz he’s a real man
A lover and a fighter and he’ll knock a knucker out
Don’t take him for a sucker cuz that’s not what he’s about
Every time I need him, he always got my back
Never disrespectful cuz his mama taught him that

Okay someone just told me that was the lyrics to a Salt and Pepa song. WHAT??? (yeah I am kidding-I think it’s a full moon or something.) I will get serious for a moment. What I wish I could say is everything I told him plus…

I really want a man who will take the lead. I don’t want to run things all the time. I would like to meet a man who won’t put up with my crap. However, I want the man to be able to stand up to me respectfully. I need a man who likes to make out. (Well I do-good girls like making out too.)

Perhaps I am looking for too much. I would just like to qualify those requirements with this: I am not looking for money, or movie star looks. I just want that compatibility. I experienced a lot of those qualities. I just never experienced them in the same man. I’ve already had my best friend with mad chemistry. The kind of love that is unconditional. Unfortunately, it was not reciprocated. I would have gone to hell and back for that man. What a pity. Anyways, my instincts tell me I am on the right course. The course I am on is also the moral of my little post…I DO want those qualities. I DO NOT need a man. I WANT a partner. I WILL wait for them. I WILL NOT serial date to find them, and when I find a man who has potential..I WILL invest some time into him. So fellow readers my advice is: discover what you really want, set some boundaries and try to invest some time in the man/woman with potential….. Until next time-how about a song? I just love me some 90’s hip hop…xoxoxoxo…Ciao

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February 26, 2013 Posted by | Dating Advice, Uncategorized | , , , , , , , , , | 12 Comments

10 Tips About Dating in Las Vegas

Las Vegas is a beautiful, crazy city.  I’ve included a few tips to dating in sin city that I have observed…Enjoy!

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  1. VIP means the guy/gal goes to the same casino a LOT (I’m judging anything other than using that phrase.)
  2. Entrepreneur usually means unemployed (consultant can sometimes mean that too)
  3. Someone stating they live with family probably lives with their parents. (Hey I get that people may need to take care of their parents-I plan on doing that myself- but if you are living in the room you grew up in at 40-you’re probably not my type.)
  4. I do not recommend dating someone who is still living with his/her ex. (This is not something I’ve done but I have witnessed it. This is a recipe for disaster. Danger Danger-and for some reason I’ve been hearing about it a lot lately and perhaps it’s our job market)
  5. Do not ever two-time a police officer. (I happen to love and attract police officers but I am not a two-timer either. This is once again sage advice I am sharing from someone who experienced it recently. You probably don’t want to break a cop’s heart in this town-for realsies.)
  6. For my gentlemen friends: Please do not complain about not finding a good women in this town when all you do is date strippers or base a woman’s worth on her bra size. (I am NOT hating on strippers or the well endowed…but really.)
  7. For my lady friends: Please do not complain about not finding a good man in this town when all you do is date a guy’s wallet. (Yep I said it like that. There is more to life than money.)
  8. For ALL my friends: Please quit complaining about being alone when you cheat on everyone you date. (Um I can pretty much guarantee you will not keep anyone of quality in your life if you always cheat. So if you’re acting like a player that’s all you’re gonna get.)
  9. Beware of anyone that moved to Las Vegas abruptly, without a job, and without a valid reason. (Saying you moved here for the jobs is NO LONGER a good reason. People often move to LV to escape or run from something else – I don’t know why.)
  10. Las VegasAlways look for signs that the man/woman you are dating is living a relatively clean life. (This means if you are dating someone who makes great money but is always broke and always at the casino then he/she may have a problem. This is sin city and it’s called that for a reason. There is too much temptation here for someone with a highly addictive personality.)

Las-Vegas-Strip-20234

I love Las Vegas. I struggle with the dating scene BUT this is a city unlike any other in the world. What I can’t seem to figure out is…Why does everyone I talk to – single men and women – complain about finding a good person to be with? I hear it so much I wonder what “good” must mean. Seems like there are a lot of lonely people struggling but 99% of the men I date are icky. How come we struggle?

Anyways..Until next time…Ciao!

February 17, 2013 Posted by | Dating Advice, Uncategorized | , , , , , , , , , , | 8 Comments

It’s NOT Playing, It’s Dating – Practical Dating Advice

Being single has helped me grow as a person. It really has! OK-it still kinda sucks BUT I have grown! As usual I over-analyzed the entire process and I made it waaaaay harder than it is. I read all these theories on dating and the “game of dating.” Well I would like to introduce everyone to MY dating advice….drum roll please…..

It’s only a game when you’re dating a player. It IS NOT a game. It is life and deals with real people. If a man I want to date chooses to make it a game…well I am NOT playing his reindeer games!

However, let me back up for a minute and explain. I wrote a post titled Should I Call Him or Not.  This was the beginning for me, You see we are taught all these rules like: Don’t call for three days, never call a man first, be interested but not too interested-blah blah blah. It’s stupid and it’s not good advice. Ladies, I want to share my wisdom. ****Take it for what it’s worth****

  • Men like to know you are interested.
  • If a man waits three days to call you he’s not that into you-for real.
  • It’s okay to put your feelings out there.

I have to address the last one really quick. This applies to all the I.N.D.E.P.E.N.D.E.N.T. women out there. (I also need to share some background info quickly.) I experienced a horrible childhood where I was often left to raise myself. In my world, people always broke promises. As an adult I have only really loved two men. One died and one abandoned me. What did that leave? It left a very strong woman who does not risk emotional rejection. Why would I when everyone has always let me down? Oh and hey-I hate pity. There are people who have had much harder lives than me. I am explaining why I – and so many women – are afraid to risk pain. Ladies: You can’t have any type of real love if you don’t risk rejection. BUT..you can do it! It starts with dropping the games and the cold front and saying to someone worthy: “Hey, I’d like to see you” or “Hey I just called to say hello and hear your voice.” Start small but start. Let me continue with my advice.

  • Dating is ONLY a game when you are dating a PLAYER. (Can’t stress that enough)
  • If a man doesn’t have time for you he’s not interested.
  • A man will not choose you because you’re pretty.

What the what?? Did she just say that?? Yes I did. I am guilty of it. In fact, I was guilty of assuming men -um good men- would flock to me because I am attractive. No I am not conceited but well….I just figured. I am a catch and I am pretty and I am in good shape and I am successful and I can still do the splits at my age-yadda yadda yadda. Do you notice all the “I’s” in there? You will attract a good man with a nice outer package but you will not KEEP a good man with a nice presentation alone. Ladies: Have you ever seen a nice guy with a woman and you wondered how she got so lucky. (Come on I know you have. I have too.) I will tell you why with my next point.

  • Men need a woman that makes them feel special. (not just a woman that looks good.)
  • Dating is not complicated – we make it so

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Seriously isn’t dating sometimes like this? Just a big WTF ???

  • If the man we are talking to keeps disappearing and coming back – you’re not his primary focus.
  • We should not be dating several men at once.

Yep I said we should not be dating several men at once. If you find a good man, why shouldn’t you invest just a little of your energy into getting to know him first? If you are just dating for the sake of dating, I wonder why? I already made my stand against serial dating. I am not going to convince you to agree with me either. Serial dating is….errr….interesting. BUT I am busy and it IS exhausting. I am a single mother with a very busy career. Who has time to waste on players and jerks? If you do have time rock on. However, I think it will be pretty hard to get to know a really good guy when you are dating three others. How can you make him feel special? Oh and if you’re worried about him dating tons of women-STOP. If he is, he won’t make time for you and he’s a player and turning the idea of dating into a game. Ya get my drift? It’s only a game when you’re dating a player. Real men want you to call them (not stalk them call them-derr)…Say it with me ladies…”It’s only a GAME when you’re dating a PLAYER.” It’s just not that complicated. I feel like I missed something but I was really eager to share this once my theory transformed into a belief. I hope it helps someone beside me and my BFF.

***Disclaimer-I know that some of you may be younger or at a different point in your life. I can only share the perspective of a 33-year-old single mother with a career because that’s who I am. I am sharing advice for women who are looking for something solid and stable. Take it for what it’s worth and from the demographic it is coming from.***

Ciao for now!

February 12, 2013 Posted by | Dating Advice, Relationships, Uncategorized | , , , , , , , , , , | 16 Comments

Online Dating Faux Pas – communication failures

Psst: I am really speaking to the fellas here (only because of my experiences) but this can pertain to any gender. So I am gonna rant a wee bit tonight. HOWEVER, I do really want to help. (It’s in my nature.) This is an attempt to make myself useful again. A couple of them might be repeats from previous posts but I really am trying to drive the point across. Here we go!

1. Please stop writing Drama free or No games in your profile. It’s tired, worn out and cliché. Oh and hey-life is drama so let’s keep it real.

2. Do not continuously wink at someone without communicating with them. Look dude-you wink, I wink back-MAKE A MOVE. Quit winking over and over cuz I am too busy to deal with that.

3. Please read the profile of the person you are making contact with. This means if a profile states that he/she is looking for a committed relationship, you should not ask if the person is looking for a hook-up. KNOW YOUR AUDIENCE.

4. Make sure you use the correct name when addressing someone after the initial email.  Um I get it if you are talking to other people. BUT you need to get my name right-it’s tacky and a major FAUX PAS.

fauxpas5

5. Do not pigeon-hole yourself into a text relationship. This ties into the winking. Make initial contact, exchange numbers, send a couple of texts, and schedule a meeting. It’s like that yo. Most people are tired of the texting non stop with no plans to meet.

6. Spell check on initial contact email and spell check on your profile. Basically..spell check. A couple of errors are human but rampant errors are questionable.

7. Declarations of love right after or before a first date are not cool. Just not cool.

8. Do not start online dating if you are still living with someone. I don’t need to even say more here. You get it-right? 

9. Do not start online dating when you are still dating someone. This is right along the lines with the previous statement.

10. If you message someone a couple of times and they do not respond-stop. Messaging me or anyone 8 times in an hour is NOT going to make me want to respond more. It really won’t.

11. If you have any pictures online (this is for the gentlemen) with no shirt on-take them down. How many times do I have to say it? PUT a shirt on. All those pictures with someone flexing in the mirror make a man seem like a real douche. For real.

12. Please do not use bathroom mirror shots. If you do have them, at least clean your bathroom first. I get how sometimes you want to show your potentials how smoking hot you are but the mess could be left out.

***DISCLAIMER: If you are guilty of any of these things please consider two things. 1. This is my opinion. I can’t proclaim to speak for every woman. In fact, I usually feel like the rarity in my city. 2. We all make mistakes. I do, you do, everyone does. No worries-everything can be fixed with the right effort.***

Happy Online Dating!! It certainly is a TRIP!!

Until next time…Ciao

February 5, 2013 Posted by | Online Dating, Uncategorized | , , , , , , , | 9 Comments

I.N.D.E.P.E.N.D.E.N.T

She’s got her own house, she’s got her own car, works hard, two jobs, she’s a bad broad. That’s a favorite song of mine (yes I love rap and hip hop-I just do.) I like to box to that song on my heavy bag.  So a pretty nice guy I’ve been kinda sorta talking to told me I am so independent that it’s intimidating. Apparently, he didn’t like the fact I told him I was busy today and no I did not need his help. Okay, technically I blew him off last night too. AND I guess if you want to be really specific, I blew him off Friday too. Although I also blew another guy off Friday night as well. Guess I screwed up huh?

Nah…I don’t care. Not really, guess I don’t have the “special feeling” for him. As I stated in my post No More Serial Dating I’m Waiting (that is so coooool-just discovered how to link stuff) I am not really feeling the dating just to date scene. I cancelled both dates because I have decided to not serial date. I went out with a girlfriend I hadn’t hung out with in a long time. It was fun!  I am actually a little disinterested over the whole dating thing. Yes I am lonely-sometimes. Yes I really crave intimacy and companionship. It’s just….well…I aint finding it so I’m not going to exhaust myself looking. Until I find it, I have been doing house projects My House Looks Amazing and rekindling some of the friendships I let fade. I am going to even look for an alternative to online dating. (But that’s a secret and I will post about it soon.) I feel better now. Like the pressures off. That’s no fooley’s…

However, the conversation did intrigue me. I was just having a conversation about this topic with my BFF earlier this week. We both are very self-sufficient women and we are both challenged in finding a good man. Meanwhile, it seems like ***disclaimer-this is only my opinion so chill*** our weaker, more dependent friends find great guys. Why the he&* is that? Am I to be punished for not needing my bills paid or for being strong enough to not complain all the time? I am not doing anything special. I am not looking for recognition. I handle the business that needs to be handled. Actually-I am a HECK of a team player. Why is it my fault that my team only consists of one? Is it that I am not vulnerable enough? I am kinda – I just don’t always show it.

So my friend and I were discussing how we can change that. Well, I’ve already vowed to show more interest in the next guy I am really intrigued by as I stated in Should I Call Him or Not?  (Hee hee hee – I am feeling mighty fancy with that.) We were even contemplating showing more vulnerability, blah blah blah. I AM going to compromise and show more interest-I PROMISE-with the next guy I really like. So should I step it up even more? I’ve been thinking about it and….

Nope! I’m going to stay me. I am not going to simper and be ridiculous so a man will want to take care of me (If I am faking it-it will appear ridiculous and unnatural.) I am going to continue to be genuine and perhaps I will be a little less stubborn (that’s another story altogether.) However, I am definitely not going to pretend to be weak or force myself to show more vulnerability. I am sorry….I just can’t do it. What’s my moral? I know this has gone on an on-right? My moral is to stay true to who you are while on the dating scene. Simple really……

Until next time….Ciao

February 4, 2013 Posted by | Dating Advice, Relationships, Uncategorized | , , , , , , | 3 Comments

No More Serial Dating I’m Waiting

Well..I am not saying I am boycotting dating. I still want to find some to spend my life with. BUT…I had an epiphany in church. Yes we have churches in Las Vegas. (I so know you were wondering.) I keep focusing on finding “the ONE.” Ironically, I really thought I found him but he turned out to not be “the ONE.” If he was “the ONE” I wouldn’t be writing this. Ooops-I am digressing again. The point is I have spent a lot of energy fearing I will be alone or even worse that I will have to continue to prowl the dating scene forever. In fact…my deepest darkest fear is that the only man that ever really wanted to share a life with me is now dead. But that’s another story entirely. Now where was I? Oh yeah, I was talking about my epiphany at church.

Google the word Epiphany for images and 99% of what you find will be about GOD. Kinda interesting to me..Just sayin..

epiphany

The series at my church is on relationships and the sermon was about Ruth. I can relate to Ruth. She took care of her Mother in Law after her husband died. She was WAY better than me. Ruth worked in the fields to keep food on the table and although she was young and described as pretty, she had an amazing character. She put her family’s needs above her own. (Meaning instead of trying to hook “the ONE” Ruth focused on what GOD expected of her.) What happened? God gave her a rich, nice, and caring husband.  I would honestly settle for a non-crazy one with a job that adored me-he doesn’t have to be rich. Now look-I am not trying to get all preachy on you. I am sharing what gave me my change of heart and what gave me comfort in being single. I do believe and I am not ashamed of that. I am just way too easy going to ever try to force my beliefs down someone else’s throat. However, when my ENTIRE world fell apart-**TWICE** my belief in GOD is what pulled me through. I am very grateful for that. In fact, I am not eloquent enough to do this justice. Let me try a different tactic.

I can’t find the one. There is no other half. 50% x 50% = .25%. You do the math. I need a partner but until then I need to live. I started becoming so obsessed with dating that I am no better than the players I complain about. Perhaps my blog should be titled “How to be Single in Las Vegas.”  But I am also WAAAAY to lazy to change it. Don’t get me wrong, I am still going to date. BUT…I am going to focus on other stuff first. Someone once told me about a woman who said she was married to Jesus. Now I am down with J.C. but when I heard that I was like, “Wow she’s not having any sex.” Yeah I know, that’s probably not nice. Ironically, I understand what she meant now. I am not saying I am married to J.C. but I am certainly not having any sex. (heeheeheehee) Sorry-sometimes I am very immature for my age. I think that woman meant that she is putting GOD’S needs first. I like that. It takes the pressure off of me. My lesson for today??? Dating is not a necessity. Being single does not make you a sub-class citizen. Yes we are pack animals by nature but focus on being the best YOU you can be. Keep trying but stop worrying. The rest will work itself out. Until next time…Ciao!

January 28, 2013 Posted by | Mistakes, Relationships, Uncategorized | , , , , , , , | 8 Comments

Should I Call Him or Not???

I am beginning to think I am too distant during the initial stages of dating. Unfortunately, I have been on a lot of initial dates lately. Most of them have been jerks or creepers. Some of them have bored me to death. (No I’m not super picky but I need some personality because I like to laugh and have fun.) A couple of them might have been steady dating material. BUT…..I seem to lose them (I’m referring to the good ones-the boring ones and jerks/creepers ALWAYS call me back) after a few dates.  I do not usually call first and I only randomly text. But hey..I am a busy woman and I don’t really know them yet. So…I am probably too stand offish.

Why? Well one of them told me so.Then he told me he would like it if I called him. Then I blew it by not calling. I know what you’re thinking! “Geesh Sara why didn’t you call him?” I didn’t call him because I am an idiot-derr. Or maybe I just wasn’t that into him-lol! My point isn’t that specific guy anyways because I am not pining over him…but….I did start thinking about what he said. He described me as hard to read. So this might be a problem-eh? I recently heard a story about the opposite. (Which is why I even started thinking about this issue in the first place.)

A man I know was telling me about this woman he was dating. He went on three dates with her. He called me one day and was complaining about how often she called/text.GUESS how many times she was contacting him??? She was calling him 4 times a day and texting him at least 6 times a day. Who has effin time for that? That is excessive. Right? No wonder his reaction was one of annoyance. In return, he finally got fed up when she woke him up on a Saturday and he dumped her. Bless her heart. She spooked him off. Stalker

watching you

So it appears that other women do call the guys they are just starting to date more than I do. (Obviously too much is not good either.) Here’s my new self challenge to myself. The next guy I meet that I actually really like (unfortunately there have not been many) I will make an effort to be a little more interested-well to act a little more interested. Maybe the average Las Vegas male needs that? Moral for the day: It’s okay to let a man know you’re interested. However, please be sure you don’t become a bugaboo.

Until next time…Ciao

 

January 23, 2013 Posted by | First Dates, Mistakes, Uncategorized | , , , , | 23 Comments

I’m in Love with a Texter

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Psst: I’m not REALLY in love with a texter but I wanted your attention! I am noticing a trend in this dating game that is starting to bother me. I have more guys texting me than I know what do with. AND…here’s the real kicker….I haven’t even met half of them! What the What????

In fact, if love were measured in text messages, I would be a very loved woman. The funny thing is that texting doesn’t provide the companionship I’m looking for. Also, I’ve text some of these guys so long that I am way to nervous to meet them in person. This is mainly because I’m a punk there has been so much build up I am afraid of discovering their true personalities. I mean it is easy to text and be anyone you want. (But once again I am digressing) I am not even bothered so much as annoyed.

I am annoyed by all the texts. I mean I don’t have time to TEXT ALL DA&* DAY!  I work man and I have kids and a life. If we are dating, I promise I will make time for you but I don’t have time for BS. Yes I appreciate a morning text and a goodnight text (um from someone I am DATING not random strangers.)  I only gave my cell number to the guy in the first place so we could meet. Why are you only texting me? What could I possibly have to say to you ALL day. How do I respond to messages like: “Hey Sexy.” Um “hi” is about all I got if there’s time in my hectic azz day to respond. Here’s some irony…if text messages were boyfriends I’d be a pimp but I’m STILL single. Oh dear…I’m getting off topic again. So here’s my advice for my fellow LV daters meeting people online (and all daters really.) Wait for it………………………………

  • Initial online contact made
  • Briefly chat online
  • Exchange numbers
  • Text ONLY long enough to set up a date
  • I recommend a simple meet and greet-coffee, etc.

BOOM goes the dynamite! It’s really simple. Until next time…Ciao!

January 10, 2013 Posted by | Online Dating, Relationships | , , , , , , , | 3 Comments

I Don’t Owe You NUTHIN!

I wasn’t going to blog about this but its been festering and boiling and out it comes….My New Year’s Eve was spent on a first date. Yeah I know what you’re thinking…Bold move…right? Well yes, I know it was but he was a seemingly nice guy. We had been talking on the phone for a while if it’s any consolation.

Okay, Okay,  I guess we were only talking on the phone for about a week but who’s counting right? He’s a somewhat successful and somewhat prominent man in town but I’m a lot like Shania Twain..”That don’t impress me much.” However, it’s certainly not a bad thing. Well, I am talking to him about the evening and he states would I be open to staying out all night. I tell him, “You mean like really late?”  He didn’t exactly answer me. (It just never dawns on me that he might mean something else. I promise it didn’t.) Then he told me he planned on getting a room because drinking was involved. (Once again, this makes sense to me because a DUI on his record will ruin his career.) AND…Just like that the date is scheduled.

We arrive at the designated meeting place and decide on eating Sushi. I love me some Sushi so  this isn’t a bad start. We get to the restaurant and he makes the waiter move us three times. In fact, the Manager actually came by to visit us and ensure we are okay. Naturally, we start drinking. At this point, I really kinda need a drink. After a couple of drinks, my dates ego starts to grow. In fact he implies certain things that are starting to make me wonder if this is the “real” person and the liquor is making him put his guard down. I love me an ego on a man too-almost as much as Sushi but I do not like people who feel entitled. Cuz really you’re not….

ImageMr. Date proceeds to let me know that he is a king and he only has the best. He implies that this is why he is spending the holiday with me. (what’s that I smell???? Oh you’re following me, I know you are…) He also lets me know he does nothing without a purpose and asks me, “Why are you here with me?” I reply with, “Um to get to know you.” He lets me know that is a bad answer….Uh Okay dude….we ring in the new year and this guy is pretty touchy feely. That’s okay too. I mean we are in a public place (so he can’t get out of hand) and it is New Year’s! 10, 9 ,8 ,7, 6, 5, 4, 3, 2, 1…HAPPY NEW YEAR!!!

As 2013 arrives, Mr. Date starts getting pushier and starts trying to convince me to go to his room. Well that……….AINT GONNA HAPPEN. I am not that type of girl. He keeps pushing and anyone who knows me knows I am one STUBBORN chica. I said no and I meant it! So there…Well he became offended. Not only offended but he never called me again. How rude – yet an almost predictable response.

WHAT EV ER

Since that night, I have been told that I should have expected it because it was New Year’s Eve. I guess I have to chalk it up to inexperience. To me a first date is a first date regardless of what day it falls on. AND I am NOT going to someone’s house/room on a first date. Derr…..

Moral: Always be prepared to stand up for your own unique set of values on a date. Always be prepared for the possibility of offending someone on a date. Always be prepared…

Until next time…Ciao!!!

January 5, 2013 Posted by | First Dates, Mistakes, Relationships | , , , , , , , | 5 Comments

Online Dating: First Contact Emails…Pass/Fail?

The first email from a stranger! Some are thoughtful first encounters, some are uncomfortably weird, and some are an absolute trip. Regardless of the quality, they are an essential component of online dating. So….in an effort to be useful, I would like to share some online approach wisdom…..Once again take it for what its worth..my humble opinion..blah blah blah…

DO NOT use the first email approaches below-they don’t work. Well…they don’t work on women like me.

  • Useless one line messages like: “Please”, “You’ve got star potential”, “U Down”That one kills me..down for what dude?, “Hey Sexy” and on an on..you get the drift-right? I wonder how often those lines work on different women?
  • Guys that copy and paste the same message to multiple women. Um if you think I wouldn’t notice, maybe you should double-check who you are sending it to because I received it twice-ha! Psst: We can tell….
  • Completely illiterate messages. My favorite one is a recent message from a guy that said, “Dam yo eyes is as blu as da sea. U got sum purfecion in u gurl.”  Hey I  like the idea of having perfection in me..but really? heeheehee
  • Beware of the one touch approach. “Text me at 555-1212”  Excuse me bro but I don’t even know you or your name. Why would I text you?
  • The mysterious message doesn’t fool me either. “I can’t have a picture of myself online because I have powerful enemies, but I will email you one.”  What are you Superman? Is Lex Luther after you? Gimme a break. You are married-you know it and I know it. Double Eeeeewwwwww!!

DO  try the first email approaches below-they might work. Well…they might work on women like me.

  • The person who takes the time to read my profile. This would be noticeable by stating a fact  included on the profile.
  • Take your email a step further by including a commonality. It motivates me more to respond if we share an interest.
  • Create an email that is obviously original and custom to the person you are contacting. For example, if the profile of the person states they are outgoing and silly-try to send a message that is…..outgoing and silly..Are you following?
  • The keep it simple approach. An example is, “Hello. I really liked your profile and wanted to take the time to say hello. How are you?”  This approach comes across as simple and honest.  Me likey!
  • The direct and honest message. “Hello, I really liked your profile. Please check my profile out and if you feel the same way, let’s talk.”  I am a really big fan of direct. This approach also has a second value. If the girl/guy is not interested in you, it saves time. Sweeeeeet!

Best of luck!! Online dating is rough!! I’m about to retire from it…but stay tuned…..

December 31, 2012 Posted by | Online Dating | , , , , , , , , , , , | 4 Comments