Single in Sin City

A good girls survival guide to dating in Las Vegas

Why Were You Going to Settle?

I recently had a good friend call off his marriage engagement. The reasons were tragic and actually had nothing to do with either of them. However, it is a very black and white situation and there is no choice but for them but to break up. (I know he wouldn’t care if I described why the engagement ended but it is just too intense to share. I see no value it would bring my readers as far as relationships go.)  So he is sad but I honestly think he dodged a bullet.

The woman was not bad or evil or psycho. She was just not right for him. She did not communicate her feelings well, she didn’t meet his physical needs and she constantly compared him to her ex husband. I never sensed that he was REALLY happy but I reserve that judgement because I believe he loves her.  I can tell he is hurting. We were having a conversation earlier and he gave me one of the most honest replies I’ve ever heard.

Our conversation centered around what we are or are not willing to settle on as far as relationship needs. He told me, “I was going to settle then I had that option taken from me and had to cut bait.” I immediately responded with, “Why were you going to settle?” He answered with, “Because I didn’t want to start over.” First of all I love the fact that he is so honest with himself that he immediately knew the answer. It takes a special person to admit something like that. My only reply was, “I am too scared of being stuck in another horrible marriage to settle.” This really got me thinking.

How often do people settle for that reason? How often must it happen in a city like Las Vegas where you are lucky to find someone who isn’t crazy or on drugs or shallow or all of the above? I see the temptation….but why should we settle? What does settling mean? I think it means settling for less than what you deserve. The key here is to be sure you don’t feel “entitled” to unrealistic things.  It is really tragic that anyone feels compelled to settle for anyone “decent” in order to not be alone. I don’t want someone to settle for me. I dream of being with a man who feels blessed to have me in his life. I don’t want him thinking..”Well she aint perfect but this one will do.” The idea just breaks my heart.

What’s my advice: Do not settle for less than what you need. If you are in a relationship and too many instances of this occur…think hard about your future with that person. If no amount of mutual compromise will fix it…then it’s time to go. Ahhh but that is so easy to say-right? The real challenge comes when you actually love that person. Things will never be perfect but remember to not sell yourself short. You are fabulous even if you are alone!

Until next time…Ciao

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August 14, 2013 Posted by | Las Vegas Tips, Personal Growth, Relationships, Uncategorized | , , , , , , , , , , , , | 4 Comments