Single in Sin City

A good girls survival guide to dating in Las Vegas

Ladies..Don’t Do This!

I was speaking with a man the other day about dating. He said, “Men are expected to do all the courting and almost all the work. Men have to make the first moves while women get to choose from multiple men who deserves their attention.” I responded with, “Well women have to worry about being too interested, not interested enough. We worry about men thinking we are easy but at the same time we want them to know we are not a prude. It’s hard for some women to operate that way.” The conversation originated from the fact I do not believe in any of those things….but I’ve written about that before..click here if you are curious.  However, this conversation made me start thinking about a lot of the attractive, single women I know.  (I am not hating on what I am about to discuss.  I actually used to do this too. )

datinggame

I think this man had a point. I do think the stereotypical dating game is the man chases a woman while she determines who is worthy of her affection. I also think this leads to the man pursuing multiple women in order to “increase his odds.” The results are a vicious circle. The woman complains that she can’t find a good man when she is actually wasting time on men that are caught up in the game.  The man wants to find someone but knows he is one of many so he needs to keep lots of bait in the water. Some men don’t care. Some men started off innocent but lost their good intentions along the way. Kind of like a politician.***This really can be unintentional. It’s a vicious circle..remember? The vicious circle I’m referring to implies that no one knows where the fault began but ALL involved are creating it so round and round we go. Are you dizzy yet?***  I have a secret!

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The only way to STOP a vicious circle (I really can’t spell that word right-every single time I write it, I get the ugly red squiggly underline. Thank goodness for spell-check yo) As I was saying, the only way to stop the err..circle is to stop participating in it regardless of the outcome. STOP. It’s so stupid easy. You have to let go of the fact that someone else may be doing it. If he/she is, stop talking to them and move on…I promise you that the only way to change any pattern is to try a new one. So that’s my secret..but I still want to give some ladies my humble advice.

Don’t be one of those women that thinks because she is pretty its okay to make a man do all the work. I used to be one of those women. So please don’t be offended if this is you. Let me give you some examples:

  • Putting up your online dating profile and expecting men to ALWAYS initiate contact and keep the conversation going – If you do this and you’re happy ROCK ON! If you do this and notice you only attract one type of guy and it’s not the kind you want, try something different.
  • Always expecting the man to call you – I get that you want to know they’re interested. They SHOULD call first sometimes. Honey they should make you feel like there was never a woman before you BUT…men need to know you care too.  Men need that too.
  • Always expect the man to ask you out – I am not saying a man should not take the lead. I am a big old-fashioned girl mixed with a strong independent woman. I get it but..how would you feel if the only time you got to see your significant other is when you asked. I would not feel good about it. Take turns..that’s all I got to say about that.
  • Making a man make ALL the first moves. Who says you can’t kiss first? Who says you have to? The key here is there are no rules.

I know there are many more examples I could give but I just wanted everyone to catch my drift.  My moral for the day? Ladies: If you are always getting the same results..try something different. Think about how you would feel if the roles were reversed. Follow that sage advice that we were most likely taught as children: Do unto others as you would have done to yourself..or something like that. I have no breeding but you know what I mean!  Stop with the attitude that I am pretty and a man should do all the work. You ARE beautiful and deserve the best. Set your boundaries, and be picky as hell on who you decide to invest in but treat the worthy man as you want to be treated.  This advice is only for women who can relate. Break the vicious circle by behaving differently. Do it for science.

Until Next Time..Ciao!

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August 12, 2013 - Posted by | Personal Growth, Uncategorized, Women Advice | , , , , , , , , ,

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