Single in Sin City

A good girls survival guide to dating in Las Vegas

What I Wish Men Knew..While In a Relationship

I give up. I can coach every friend I have on spotting a player and avoiding the game of dating. However, I am a complete failure at relationships. I don’t know what’s wrong with me. It’s got to be me-right? Maybe I am just the type of woman men don’t really care about. I know that’s reverting back to my label and I know I’ve written about labels. I am just so effin tired of all of it. If I didn’t have kids, I would just leave this entire city and never look back. There has to be a better place somewhere. Uggh! Okay, in case my readers don’t know, I like to make lists. It helps me put things/problems/tasks into perspective. So I’ve written a list of what I wish men knew when we’re in a committed relationship. Who knows, maybe I will help someone else. (Just in case you are a new reader I am qualifying this list as my opinion only. I am a good girl with very simple dreams and desires. So I can’t speak for every woman or even the majority. Especially in this city.) Also, I am referring to a serious relationship-not dating.

  • I wish men understood that women are wired differently. You see, I understand that men need respect. I learned the lesson the hard way. However, I need to feel secure in love. I need to feel loved.
  • Why do men no longer take the lead? Do I really need to be the one to make all the first moves? If you want to see me, ask me-even better, tell me. I like a man who can take charge. If you never call me first or ask to see me first, I feel like you do not care. I get that we are in a different era but we can share. For realsies…You see, I’m the boss all day long and I come home and manage two headstrong boys all by myself while trying to be everything to everyone. I’m always on. Sometimes I need a man to take charge. I’m tired…
  • I wish men knew that all a really independent woman like me wants is to be able to lean on someone once in a while. I don’t need my bills paid or every second of your time. I do want you to care about my well-being. If I tell you I’ve had a hard day..ask me why. I am not compromising on this shiznit. I am worth this. I am not as strong as everyone thinks. I need someone I can lean on. It’s so very hard to do everything by myself. Women like me need a man who can appreciate that.
  • I wish men didn’t lump me in with other women. I DON’T PLAY GAMES. If I’m upset there is a reason. Hey I am human. I might be wrong in my reasoning. However, I am not playing or fishing for compliments. DON’T compare me to your damn ex. I am nothing like her. I am not like anyone you’ve ever met before. I am original.
  • Women have basic needs. 1. Emotional security 2. Physical Security 3. Financial Security. I am a balance of the three. However, I do not need your money. I would love a partnership some day where I didn’t have to carry all the burden but I don’t NEED it. (Plus who am I kidding? At the rate I’m going I really should become a nun. I can’t even get someone I love to care enough to inquire about my well-being. In fact the saddest thing of all is the biggest asshole jerk I loved was the only man who ever really had my back …and he’s dead. That’s just so wicked sick and pathetic. Plus, if I become a nun, my friends that call me Sister Sara can have a real laugh. It would suck to give up the gangster rap I love but it’s good to have a back-up plan.)  I do think I lean more towards the physical security but that’s because I am wired like an 18-year-old boy. Anyways, I just wish men realized how simple it is to keep a woman like me happy.
  • I wish men knew that I am not always strong. I won’t freak out and break on you but I am so much more than what the world sees. I do not need you to fix me. I just need you to be there to hug me and listen.

I feel better. I am finished crying. Sometimes I wish I could just stop caring and become like so many people in this city. I can’t help who I am. I was told today that I am very passionate about what I do and that I have a strong sense of conviction. It was during a reprimand but I grudgingly agree. I am passionate. I am passionate about life, my career, about people who matter to me.  I am loyal. I am real and I hate being alone all the time. I am tired of working things out by myself and that’s just the pathetic truth.  Don’t worry-I will continue. I am resilient.

I am not willing to compromise on what I need from someone in order to not be alone.  That path only leads to heartache.  If I had any wisdom to share with anyone in relation to this post it would be to hold strong to that.  Set your boundaries and stay strong. The tip is to not set unrealistic expectations. I am not looking for movie star looks or money. I just want someone who really cares. Unfortunately, I have no advice for that and I have no moral for today. I am still working on it. So far, I am a failure at relationships. Just an epic failure.  Kinda like this homeboy.

.epic failure

Don’t worry peeps. The good thing about having a disgustingly optimistic nature like mine is that I will snap out of this quickly.

Until Next Time…Ciao!

June 14, 2013 - Posted by | Men Advice, Relationships | , , , , , , ,


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    Comment by Lois & Clark | June 15, 2013 | Reply

    • I think that article you referred me to is great. I had another comment on this topic but I accidentally deleted it instead of approving it. The reader suggested that I need to relax and have fun. (I really did delete it on accident-I like opposing opinions.) I know this post came across as strong and perhaps even sent a mixed signal. I am not trying to represent myself as weak but I was really attempting to show that strong women need support too. Also, I could care less if a man I was casually dating knew these things. I am only referring to men I actually love and care about. I agree with the relaxing comment too. I love to laugh and have fun and my writing can never represent my inner child or how I dance around the house to bad music. I write to release so quite often only my deeper thoughts come out-but hey that’s okay-right? I mean it is my blog 🙂 Thank you to everyone who read this and I apologize to Grace for accidentally deleting her comment.

      Comment by datinginvegas | June 15, 2013 | Reply

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