Single in Sin City

A good girls survival guide to dating in Las Vegas

Don’t Borrow Trouble – 5 things Women Do that Blow a Relationship!

My Grandmother was an amazing woman with great phrases. One of her most common was “Don’t borrow trouble.” I never understood that until I became a grown up. It is probably the best advice ever. Why should we worry about things that have yet to happen? I constantly see women doing this. (Maybe men do too but I’m not a member of that particular club.) I think a lot – not all – but a lot of women over-analyze things and make small issues or dare I even say non-issues a big deal. Why? Because we’re borrowing trouble-derr. I like to be useful..it’s kinda in my nature.  So on that note, I’ve created a list of what we should NOT do to borrow trouble while in a relationship.

  1. Fish around your new boyfriends Facebook page. I’ve done it, you’ve done it, heck we’ve all done it! I DO NOT do it NO MORE. I will tell you why. Suppose you see someone comments on his pictures all the time (by someone I mean another female)…who is this woman? is she cuter than me? Then you go to her page and on and on and on. The truth is she may just be his best friends sister or his Dental Hygienist  I mean you don’t know and now you’ve created doubt in your mind. What for? You my friend just borrowed trouble.
  2. If you met him online DO NOT look up his online profile once you start dating exclusively. I used to do this. It is dangerous. First of all, you look it up and then you see he logged on yesterday. WTF? Now you’re mad but…maybe he went on to see if YOU logged on. Now he checked again and sees that you have logged on and the vicious circle begins. No one wants to admit they did it so it’s like this big online dating elephant in the room. 2008-11-03-Elephant-In-The-RoomThe last guy I dated online for more than three dates did this and I FLEW off the handle. By this I mean I dumped him. I don’t care because he was not the one for me but it was awfully stupid and dramatic. I feel stupid just admitting it but change is all about facing your flaws! So I can honestly say I have been dating the same man for a little while now and I have not once looked him up. I have been tempted but here’s the thing: If he is going to stop seeing me for someone else it wasn’t meant to be. If he is dating multiple women, I will know it. It is very easy to tell when you do not have a man’s full attention. If I lose his attention then he wasn’t right for me and I will move on. (after I curse him out and TP his car..but that’s another story. hee hee I’m kidding..really I am.) I mean what do I care if he logs on? I am not logging on and that’s all that matters. Click here to see my rules..remember?
  3. Ask for too many details on former girlfriends. Oh now you did it girl! Now you just discovered that his ex was a former gymnast and model who currently plays the body double for Angelina Jolie. Did you just borrow some trouble? … mmmhmm you did … Why would we do that? I am interested in my man’s past but I don’t need to know his exes bra cup size any more than he needs to know my exes penis size. (OHHHH SNAP! Goodie Sara went there.) It’s the truth and I calls it likes I sees it.
  4. Don’t push the guy you are dating for a label or to define the relationship. Yes at some point “the talk” needs to happen. However, if we are all grown ups, why do you need to know if he is your “boyfriend” or not. In fact, I feel kinda dumb even saying I have a boyfriend at 33. It sounds so juvenile. (I’ve never pushed for a title but I really don’t have as much experience dating as other women my age. I can tell you I never will. I don’t serial date or play games “if you are a woman getting played-you gotta click https://howtodateinlv.wordpress.com/2013/02/12/its-not-playing-its-dating-practical-dating-advice/ and read this-it will help” and I LOVE the freedom of that!) I will say I’ve seen my friends do it and it will slowly drive them crazy.  Why? Cuz they are borrowing trouble dude.
  5. In addition to number 4, you should never push your man for a commitment. The man I married didn’t need pushing..course that was a disaster but it’s besides the point. I am guilty of this. I am guilty of thinking if a man says he wants to spend the rest of his life with me it means he wants to marry me. It may mean he wants the status quo. I will NEVER push or inquire about marriage again. (Um no I didn’t ask him to marry me but I kept bringing it up. ) The results I got were not positive. Here is my suggestion to that: At the onset of a relationship, the discussion of what you want long-term usually comes up and I recommend……honesty! Then there are no mixed feelings later. If you change your mind down the road, you may need to be prepared for the relationship to be over. Do not do what I did. I tried pushing, I tried guilting, I tried all kinds of stuff. Then I realized I didn’t even want to marry him. Why in the world would I ever want to marry someone who didn’t ask me out of desire to spend his life with me? If a man wants you, he will make it known. Ooops..lesson learned. Try to learn from my mistake. I will not repeat that one.

As a bonus..definitely don’t ever do this!

crazy-women-bizarre-21

Guess I’ve made my point! My moral for the day? Ladies, let’s not borrow trouble. I know it’s hard but instead of letting your suspicious or analytical mind go crazy, try looking at the man’s actions. Are you getting the attention you need? Is he distracted? I promise you, men aren’t very complicated. (I love men-I’m not hating) When they care, you will know. Until next time…Ciao!

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April 26, 2013 - Posted by | Women Advice | , , , , , , , , ,

4 Comments »

  1. Great post! I try so hard not to do these things, but find myself doing them anyway! I will routinely ask myself now if I’m ‘borrowing trouble’. Thank you! 🙂

    Comment by LittleMissLola | April 26, 2013 | Reply

  2. I know we have all done them. Once you stop (or at least kinda stop) I promise it will bring positive change. Thank you so much for reading!

    Comment by datinginvegas | April 26, 2013 | Reply

  3. […] to look at his actions and blah freaking blah freaking blah. I am actually telling myself to not borrow trouble. I mean I’m not intimidated by perfect bodies and giant fake boobs. You know like half of his […]

    Pingback by Romantic Irony! « How to Date in LV | June 22, 2013 | Reply

  4. I have/had a partner, we are always breaking up. I have never been with a woman more insane than she is, it’s driving me crazy. She did the same thing with Facebook and even friends that I’ve had for years would wish me a happy birthday and I would get in to trouble for it yet it’s ok for her to spend basically all day on Facebook commenting and liking. I wish a girl that may be good looking a happy birthday or a like because she got married or something and I’ve been sleeping with them. Comes to visits with my kids, I have to pick them up from their mother and I get phone calls 5 minutes after the pick up time making sure I have left. Sometimes I might be late in getting there or the mother needs to tell me a few things about the kids, in saying this her ex stays with her all day in the house they both lived in before the separation. Seriously he’s there from 9am in the morning, may go home during their kids midday sleep to return and be there till 9pm. Even on valentines day. She also does the same thing with the dreams, if she has a bad dream then I know I am in for it for the day and the night won’t end well. That to me is insane! I’ve had a dream before about her with her ex, woke thinking thank god it was only a dream full well knowing it wasn’t her fault. Another time I got in to trouble because a psychic told her that I was never going to love her like she did me and that she should watch out for a girls name starting with s. Well didn’t that go down well, I have a friend who is quite a bit older than me. I really only know him through work but have known him for some time. He has a wife and they have been together ever since I’ve known him and she walked past one day and said hi. Happened to be her name starts with s. You can picture how that went. She’s about 25 years older than me! This girl went on a trip alone for 9 days and didn’t want me knowing where exactly (time with her daughter apparently) so instead of sitting around all weekend doing nothing I said well I’ve been a bit stressed at work so I might just head off for the Saturday night and come back Sunday night, now I’m apparently going with someone else. I’ve lost friends because of this girl as I’m not allowed to do anything with them. If I ever said hi to a girl like my land lord even she would greasy them.
    I know the answer is to end it which I have on numerous occasions, so has she really. I feel relief straight after. She always ends up coming back some how whether it being just friends or apologies etc. She reckons she will destroy my next relationship if we were to break up and I found someone else. Maybe an avo?

    Comment by Greg | February 26, 2014 | Reply


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