Single in Sin City

A good girls survival guide to dating in Las Vegas

He’s just not that into you

As I struggle to date in a city filled with shallow people and fake men (not all, just the ones I seem to attract), I’d like to share some insight I discovered while watching this movie. He’s Just Not That Into You  had me laughing my butt off. To keep it real-one part Gigi said stood out and really drove home a point I needed to hear….

Girls are taught a lot of stuff growing up. If a guy punches you he likes you. Never try to trim your own bangs and someday you will meet a wonderful guy and get your very own happy ending. Every movie we see, Every story we’re told implores us to wait for it, the third act twist, the unexpected declaration of love, the exception to the rule. But sometimes we’re so focused on finding our happy ending we don’t learn how to read the signs. How to tell from the ones who want us and the ones who don’t, the ones who will stay and the ones who will leave. And maybe a happy ending doesn’t include a guy, maybe… it’s you, on your own, picking up the pieces and starting over, freeing yourself up for something better in the future. Maybe the happy ending is… just… moving on. Or maybe the happy ending is this, knowing after all the unreturned phone calls, broken-hearts, through the blunders and misread signals, through all the pain and embarrassment you never gave up hope. http://www.imdb.com/title/tt1001508/quotes?qt=qt0517495

We are taught that! WHERE’S MY HAPPY ENDING??-right? It can’t possibly be on POF or OKCupid-can it?  I started thinking about happy endings. I am a big advocate of them. However, maybe in real life the happy ending doesn’t include two people living happily ever after. Maybe it really is the freedom to find something better. The entire discussion about “exceptions” also stood out.

Ok, Ok. Exhibit A. Chad the drummer who lived in a storage space. He only used me for rides and yet I continued to stalk him for most of 1998. Then oh, um, there was Don, that broke up with me every Friday so that he could have his weekends free. I was delusional about that relationship. I used to refer to him as my husband to random people, like my dental hygienist. Anyway, all my friends used to tell me about how things might work out with these dipsticks because they knew someone, who knew someone, who dated a dipstick just like mine. That girl ended up getting married and living happily ever after. That the exception and we’re not the exception we’re the rule. http://www.imdb.com/title/tt1001508/quotes?qt=qt0517682

The romantic side of me freely admits that I dream of being an exception. Although I am pretty awesome, I am realizing that I am almost certainly the rule. So maybe this means the man I waited on to want to commit wasn’t going to wake up and have a change of heart. I know I know-derr right? I am the rule. But noooo..I couldn’t learn this the easy way. I let him back in-against everyone’s advice. I mean he claimed to really love me, he knows I want a married life with someone I truly love. I truly loved him. What’s the big effin deal? I had a friend who left her boyfriend because he wouldn’t commit after two years and he missed her so much that he realized he must be with her forever and now they are married-so it could happen. REALITY check…that “friend” I am referring to is the exception. I am the rule. (If he doesn’t want to commit to you he aint ever gonna) I am the rule for him.  He’s just not that into me.  But man someday, someone might make me an exception-right?

Of all the things I contemplated during the movie it was:  If a man wants to be with you, he will make it happen-period. I am sooooo guilty of making excuses for someone. The truth is that guy was just not that into me. Shocking really cuz I think I rock! I understand some of you might be thinking, “Geesh Sara this is just a movie.” I know! The point isn’t that I am taking relationship advice from a movie. (Work with me people.) The moral behind that is perhaps we really do get so caught up in looking for a hidden meaning that we don’t read the signs correctly. I got so caught up in little, nice things this man did for me that I missed all the MAJOR signs that really should have seen before

I love men. I am not a hater of the opposite gender. I just think women (some not all) are notorious for over-analyzing men’s intentions. The reality check I just had: It’s really not that hard. If a man wants you, he will make it known. Oh Snap! I get it-I really do. Maybe I helped someone else too. I will never ever make the same mistake again. Don’t worry-I WILL make other mistakes.

Until next time…Ciao

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January 20, 2013 - Posted by | Mistakes, Relationships, Uncategorized, Women Advice | , , , , , , , ,

4 Comments »

  1. I love that movie! And the book wasn’t too bad either!

    Comment by Audrey | January 20, 2013 | Reply

    • Oh I didn’t read the book but maybe I will! 🙂

      Comment by datinginvegas | January 20, 2013 | Reply

  2. yeah I loved this movie too … and I am into someone who is just not that into me too … I tell myself it doesnt matter and that I am mighty fine just the way I am but of course it hurts … yeah it does!!! x

    Comment by Kay BeeBee | January 20, 2013 | Reply

  3. Oh we are all guilty of this, probably guys, too (over analyzing). In the past I have wasted so much time and tears on trying to make a guy realize how awesome I am and why he should want to be with me as much as I want to be with him. I won’t do it anymore, I have faith that the right guy will put forth the effort and I won’t have to convince him, he will see i’m the bomb. Until then, I’m just killing time. Stop putting forth an effort with someone that keeps hurting you. It’s about self worth. Like you said, you think you rock, and I’m sure you do. When you keep giving chances to someone who hurts you, you are sending a clear message that you don’t value yourself enough to put your foot down, and he will keep doing it because you allow it. We want it so bad sometimes that we ignore the fact that if it’s right, it doesn’t hurt, and as hard as it is you have to walk away from situations that bring you hurt. You should feel joy, when it’s right. I will never back down from that opinion. P.S. I love that movie!!!

    Comment by dawnienic | January 21, 2013 | Reply


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