Oh No He Didn’t!

So we know if we are on dating sites, we will get approached via message. DATING SITES. Last Thursday I received the message below. (PSST: I am no longer on the dating sites and haven’t been for a year.)

Hello Beautiful, I may not be superman, but give me a second and I will fly across countries to send you my love. Have you received it? hope you don’t mind us communicating each other through our personal email,hope you don’t mind?
Waiting to read from you soon…. 

Regards……. Christopher

And TODAY I received a different message from a different man!!!!

Hi thanks for accepting my connection, anyway l have gone through your profile and l must tell you that am really impressed on what l have seen therefore thats why l connected you maybe we can share some ideas together after hours though we are in different fields. You look really good and would wanna get to know you properly. bye and hope to hear from you soon

Where do you think I received these messages? FaceBook? NOPE Twitter? NOPE….drum roll…….LinkedIn! Now go freaking figure. I always assumed this was a safe professional social networking venue. The first email was over the top stupid. (Ummm sorry it was.) Let me qualify: It was STUPID under any circumstance. Stupid on a dating site, stupid on a boat, and stupid with a goat. I really blew it off to one of those rare chance occurrences but four days later another guy sends me a message. What is this? LinkedIn Lonely Hearts Club? So über stupid and unprofessional. ( I do have a professional persona ya know!)

Todays Advice:

Men: PLEASE do not send this kind of crap. It is ridiculously transparent and insulting. (Psst: It is insulting because anyone who sends it must think I’m some kind of idiot to believe its authenticity; and if you can’t figure that one out buddy…phone a friend.) Anywho…I do not recommend generic, demeaning messages. If you happen to attract a woman this way, she may be….generic herself.

Women: Let’s not reply to this junk. I know it’s tempting to want to tell them off or to just plain ‘ole vent but it just isn’t worth it. I stopped a long time ago.

Everyone: LinkedIn is for business networking. Not hooking up…and that’s all I have to say about that.

Until Next Time….Ciao!

Don’t Let Your Crazy Out!

Oh My Oh My..I only took a couple of Psychology classes in college but I had a field day with this. The message below screams “Help Get Me Some Meds” (Oh and I’m not being mean, I’m being serious.) This pearl of a man sent me a message last week about how he was in bed with his two snakes and three dogs. (Yeah I know..I kinda don’t need to say much else-right?) MY FIRST mistake was not blocking him but I don’t really date a lot right now (I’m trying to just get to know one person at a time and follow my own advice..yeah that’s how I roll..boom) so I didn’t bother. Tonight this homeboy let his crazy out! 

I wonder how u make so much money 
U may have to work ure ass off for that? I come from the other side….I try mostly just to serve only myself…it offends me to serve other people….I used to work at Kentucky fried chicken as a dishwasher…..it was a good job I enjoyed some of it allot… 
It kept me in good shape working there…..but sometimes id get customers that would annoy me sometimes even spooky ones 
So ive become a bum who just stays at home….I try to listen to noone…..but it has started to work against my best wishes…. 
I used to love having all the time in the world…. 
But I have lost control of my mind….so its not the same anymore 
Im getting old and senile…..I value my family and my animals who r very close to me…..my mind is broken…it doesnt work like it used to….I dont know why u wont write me…..maybe u thought I am a psychotic asshole piece of shit….. 
I didnt mean to make u feel that way 
I dont take this site dead serious all the time…. 
I spend so much time alone…its hard for me to see these date sites as nothing much more than a self entertainment 
if u rnt a lonely kind of person…u may not understand how that can be like……I can even be lonely with allot of people around because sometimes I dont feel connected to anyone

I won’t even begin to address the spelling errors. (Horrible grammar bugs the hell outta me-just sayin) However, I’m sorry Mister-I really am. I do know what it feels like to be lonely. I feel that way often. However, I DON’T know….how it feels to be crazy. (At least I don’t think I do!) So my lesson to you today folks is: Beware of the crazies online pretty effin’ obvious right? Oh and to my crazy friends: Hide your crazy-don’t let it out like this to strangers. (It may get you in trouble.) 

Until next time.. Ciao

Online Dating Faux Pas – communication failures

Psst: I am really speaking to the fellas here (only because of my experiences) but this can pertain to any gender. So I am gonna rant a wee bit tonight. HOWEVER, I do really want to help. (It’s in my nature.) This is an attempt to make myself useful again. A couple of them might be repeats from previous posts but I really am trying to drive the point across. Here we go!

1. Please stop writing Drama free or No games in your profile. It’s tired, worn out and cliché. Oh and hey-life is drama so let’s keep it real.

2. Do not continuously wink at someone without communicating with them. Look dude-you wink, I wink back-MAKE A MOVE. Quit winking over and over cuz I am too busy to deal with that.

3. Please read the profile of the person you are making contact with. This means if a profile states that he/she is looking for a committed relationship, you should not ask if the person is looking for a hook-up. KNOW YOUR AUDIENCE.

4. Make sure you use the correct name when addressing someone after the initial email.  Um I get it if you are talking to other people. BUT you need to get my name right-it’s tacky and a major FAUX PAS.

5. Do not pigeon-hole yourself into a text relationship. This ties into the winking. Make initial contact, exchange numbers, send a couple of texts, and schedule a meeting. It’s like that yo. Most people are tired of the texting non stop with no plans to meet.

6. Spell check on initial contact email and spell check on your profile. Basically..spell check. A couple of errors are human but rampant errors are questionable.

7. Declarations of love right after or before a first date are not cool. Just not cool.

8. Do not start online dating if you are still living with someone. I don’t need to even say more here. You get it-right? 

9. Do not start online dating when you are still dating someone. This is right along the lines with the previous statement.

10. If you message someone a couple of times and they do not respond-stop. Messaging me or anyone 8 times in an hour is NOT going to make me want to respond more. It really won’t.

11. If you have any pictures online (this is for the gentlemen) with no shirt on-take them down. How many times do I have to say it? PUT a shirt on. All those pictures with someone flexing in the mirror make a man seem like a real douche. For real.

12. Please do not use bathroom mirror shots. If you do have them, at least clean your bathroom first. I get how sometimes you want to show your potentials how smoking hot you are but the mess could be left out.

***DISCLAIMER: If you are guilty of any of these things please consider two things. 1. This is my opinion. I can’t proclaim to speak for every woman. In fact, I usually feel like the rarity in my city. 2. We all make mistakes. I do, you do, everyone does. No worries-everything can be fixed with the right effort.***

Happy Online Dating!! It certainly is a TRIP!!

Until next time…Ciao

It’s too much! Emails and Dating Mistakes..

I am having one of those weeks. It’s like now that I decided I don’t care about dating every guy is coming at me. (and of course not a normal one-not yet!) I designed my blog to help people…and to help myself figure out this dating stuff. So let me share some wisdom on communication failures.

If you just met me and send me an email like this,…you’re gonna get a blow off and a possible restraining order.

 I think we could be right for each other because unto the end of time, I will be there for you. You would own my heart and mind, I would truly adore you. Love is too weak to define just what you  mean to me. From the first moment I saw you, I knew you were the one. I truly adore you, you don’t know what you mean to me. Seriously

It is such a shame that I am hearing these words from someone I barely know. What I wouldn’t have given to hear something like this from a man I loved. Coming from someone after one date is just plain ole’ CREEPY!

Now let’s discuss this next one..

I am looking for my soul-mate eventually of course (yeah I still believe) i am looking for that one woman who is strong, comfortable in her own skin, confident, who knows what she wants, laughs and love’s deeply. A woman who is dorky and funny, independent and open minded, silly and sarcastic, intelligent and immature. A woman who will be Challenging my beliefs and making me question my opinions is my biggest turn on. I’m very positive and honest and very comfortable with who I am. I know what I want from life and I just need a great woman to share it with. I would love to open my heart and have that woman in my life to explore my heart, my soul, and my mind, but by that time she will probably have my love already,
I hope this gives you a glimpse of who I am, and I would love to get to know you better. You seem a very nice woman to get to know more of, and it will be more than an honor for me.

Oh my! I mean what do I do with that shiznit? I think he means well.  It’s just tooooooo much for me-ya know? I mean we only had coffee and you follow the date up with this??? (not to mention there are TONS of spelling and grammar mistakes.) Geesh!

BUT….The BIG winner….The email (from someone I HAVEN’T even MET) that made me want to blog about this and warn all of my over-zealous friends and readers….

My dear, i was going through your profile. I was glad of the cute words i read from your profile, you sound so beautiful and interesting. My heart and soul was full of joy when
i saw your photo. I am deeply in love with you. I want to be involved in a serious relationship with
you that will last forever. I wish to live with you as
husband and wife do, forever more lovingly and
happily.

Um……….yeah. That’s all I can say about that one. Not sure if this person is even real..This is a delete and block type of communication..Uber weird and just…ick!

What’s the moral today??? If you are very interested in a woman/guy….tone it down or reel it in! Do not proclaim love after the first date or…before-heeheehee! It’s too much and will cause the object of your interest to run…just sayin.

Until next time…Ciao!

Las Vegas Woman Sues Match.com

As a Las Vegas resident and native, this caught my eye. Mary Kay Beckman is suing Match.com for 10 million dollars after being attacked by a man that she dated for 8 days and then broke up with. The word attack doesn’t begin to describe the horror this woman went through.

  Wade Mitchell Ridley hid in her garage and viciously stabbed her over 10 times. When the knife broke he began to stomp on her head. It is a miracle she lived. In fact, Ridley thought he left her for dead. He was arrested not only for her attack but for killing his ex girlfriend in Phoenix in February of 2011. Ridley killed himself in prison last year. This is a tragic and devastating incident. It is a reminder of always being safe and a reminder that sometimes you never know a person. The lawsuit is for 10 million dollars and based on the fact that Match.com did not disclose the dangers of internet dating. So here’s my two cents…

How did he know where she lived? If they only knew each other for 8 days-how did he know? Perhaps he was a stalker. This guy had no criminal record, how is Match.com responsible? Isn’t it just as dangerous to meet some strange man at a bar? Where do we draw the line? Although I am tired of online dating, I do not feel anyone could have prevented this. I am so so so so sorry for what happened-but I do not think the lawsuit is justified.  I think the real moral here is…..to be as careful as possible while dating. The truth is…there is ALWAYS a danger. We do not know who we are letting into our lives…Once again I am sorry but if I had any advice for Las Vegas daters it would be to be careful and be prepared. Wonder what other’s thoughts are?

Until next time….Ciao

http://www.cbsnews.com/8301-201_162-57565665/las-vegas-woman-sues-match.com-after-scorned-date-tries-to-kill-her/

DUDE….REALLY??? Online Dating Profiles that DON’T Work

Sometimes…just sometimes…I have to shake my head and bite my tongue. I have already posted about common online dating profile mistakes. Now I’m gonna vent. (Cuz I keeps it real yo.)

Here are some profile portions I have (err borrowed) for educational purposes. They are from all over so don’t worry about me exploiting anyone’s privacy. Also, if it is published on the internet it is up for public grab. (I checked-promise.)

• I offur drama free companionship, good lessoner, relaxing conversations, romatic cubbling time, real heathly communication,Day by bay. I enjoy camping,reading, travelling,pool,bowling, movies: sci fi, druma, action, romance:twilight saga, Live music: Moroon5, Brono Mars, jazz & everything in between. Now on a personal note I’ve been dating on many different cites- I had gone throw alot of Trial and erras.

I am still trying to figure out what cubbling time is. I think it is cuddling-not sure-he may like clubs. It’s killing me and at the same time all I can think is. “Bless his lil heart.” Seriously…

• I’m tired of all the whores in this town. If there are any real ladies in town. Hit me up

Way to ostracize every woman in town. Plus this is my HOME town so when you make fun of it, I take it personal. Only natives can talk about Las Vegas negatively. (everyone knows it..it’s like a rule dude.) Also the hit me up thing kills me. I mean coming from a man your age-really?

• I am looking for a long term relationshep and sumeone I can be commited to. Also, to be upfront, I am living with my soon to be ex wife still

I can forgive the minor spelling errors. Even though they irk me. (That’s kinda my pet peeve-but I misspell too.) But…WHOA MAN!!! I appreciate your honesty. My only comment is maybe you shouldn’t be trying to date right now.

I always try to have a moral/lesson in my posts. This blog is designed as a guide. So there is a lesson here. Please use common sense when posting your profile. If you need help, email me! Just Sayin….

Until next time…..Ciao!

I’m in Love with a Texter

Psst: I’m not REALLY in love with a texter but I wanted your attention! I am noticing a trend in this dating game that is starting to bother me. I have more guys texting me than I know what do with. AND…here’s the real kicker….I haven’t even met half of them! What the What????

In fact, if love were measured in text messages, I would be a very loved woman. The funny thing is that texting doesn’t provide the companionship I’m looking for. Also, I’ve text some of these guys so long that I am way to nervous to meet them in person. This is mainly because I’m a punk there has been so much build up I am afraid of discovering their true personalities. I mean it is easy to text and be anyone you want. (But once again I am digressing) I am not even bothered so much as annoyed.

I am annoyed by all the texts. I mean I don’t have time to TEXT ALL DA&* DAY!  I work man and I have kids and a life. If we are dating, I promise I will make time for you but I don’t have time for BS. Yes I appreciate a morning text and a goodnight text (um from someone I am DATING not random strangers.)  I only gave my cell number to the guy in the first place so we could meet. Why are you only texting me? What could I possibly have to say to you ALL day. How do I respond to messages like: “Hey Sexy.” Um “hi” is about all I got if there’s time in my hectic azz day to respond. Here’s some irony…if text messages were boyfriends I’d be a pimp but I’m STILL single. Oh dear…I’m getting off topic again. So here’s my advice for my fellow LV daters meeting people online (and all daters really.) Wait for it………………………………

• Initial online contact made
• Briefly chat online
• Exchange numbers
• Text ONLY long enough to set up a date
• I recommend a simple meet and greet-coffee, etc.

BOOM goes the dynamite! It’s really simple. Until next time…Ciao!

Online Dating: First Contact Emails…Pass/Fail?

The first email from a stranger! Some are thoughtful first encounters, some are uncomfortably weird, and some are an absolute trip. Regardless of the quality, they are an essential component of online dating. So….in an effort to be useful, I would like to share some online approach wisdom…..Once again take it for what its worth..my humble opinion..blah blah blah…

DO NOT use the first email approaches below-they don’t work. Well…they don’t work on women like me.

• Useless one line messages like: “Please”, “You’ve got star potential”, “U Down”–That one kills me..down for what dude?, “Hey Sexy” and on an on..you get the drift-right? I wonder how often those lines work on different women?
• Guys that copy and paste the same message to multiple women. Um if you think I wouldn’t notice, maybe you should double-check who you are sending it to because I received it twice-ha! Psst: We can tell….
• Completely illiterate messages. My favorite one is a recent message from a guy that said, “Dam yo eyes is as blu as da sea. U got sum purfecion in u gurl.”  Hey I  like the idea of having perfection in me..but really? heeheehee
• Beware of the one touch approach. “Text me at 555-1212”  Excuse me bro but I don’t even know you or your name. Why would I text you?
• The mysterious message doesn’t fool me either. “I can’t have a picture of myself online because I have powerful enemies, but I will email you one.”  What are you Superman? Is Lex Luther after you? Gimme a break. You are married-you know it and I know it. Double Eeeeewwwwww!!

DO  try the first email approaches below-they might work. Well…they might work on women like me.

• The person who takes the time to read my profile. This would be noticeable by stating a fact  included on the profile.
• Take your email a step further by including a commonality. It motivates me more to respond if we share an interest.
• Create an email that is obviously original and custom to the person you are contacting. For example, if the profile of the person states they are outgoing and silly-try to send a message that is…..outgoing and silly..Are you following?
• The keep it simple approach. An example is, “Hello. I really liked your profile and wanted to take the time to say hello. How are you?”  This approach comes across as simple and honest.  Me likey!
• The direct and honest message. “Hello, I really liked your profile. Please check my profile out and if you feel the same way, let’s talk.”  I am a really big fan of direct. This approach also has a second value. If the girl/guy is not interested in you, it saves time. Sweeeeeet!

Best of luck!! Online dating is rough!! I’m about to retire from it…but stay tuned…..

Hey Baby…You’re just what I’ve been looking for!!

Well…you’re not what I’ve been looking for really. (But you wouldn’t know that because you never asked.) Okay okay okay…I would never REALLY pull a gun on someone-but some days I wish I had a pass.

I recently-and I mean recently-received a message from a lovely gentleman that offered me money to travel with him. I am no longer so naive that I don’t understand that women exist out there that appreciate that kind of thing. I’m just not one of them. This chica is not for sale yo!  What I don’t understand is why a man would hit me up for that after reading my profile. Furthermore, I don’t understand why a man would argue with me after I told him (bluntly) to take a hike. Do men think they can convince a woman of compromising her values? Uggh!

So his message stated..You are exactly what I am looking for. Okay I am already gathering he   must be into my pictures because I can’t imagine him being into me stunning intellect. I message him back to be a smart a&^ and see what he means. He proceeds to tell me that he needs a travel partner and is willing to buy my time. I let  him know this is Las Vegas and there are PLENTY of women who are into that but I’m not one of them. He continues to go back and forth with me. This is the kind of crap that makes me pull down my profile but I am sharing it for two reasons.

The first reason is to share that my mistake was engaging in conversation with him at all. (Maybe someone else will avoid doing it in the future.) The second reason is because what I SHOULD have done is just delete and block. I have used that move many times during my online tenure. Say it with me…Delete and Block……If you get a nasty man messaging you, what do you do? Delete and Block. If you get a psycho chic messaging you, what do you do? Delete and Block. Thank you. Now please drive through…….

Things I CAN’T STAND about dating

I feel Charlie Brown crying is apt! Sometimes I feel like crying. There are just some things I CAN’T stand about dating. I know dating is a necessary evil. I mean how else am I going to meet someone? I just hate the way this town works (maybe other towns too-I don’t know.) Las Vegas-and this is MY home town so I can hate a little bit-is just so shallow. I feel like men are always on the lookout for something better and women are always on the lookout for more money. I know I am not alone but sometimes-like tonight-I feel like the last girl scout in a town full of nasties.

This is all stemming from a guy I refused to date cursing me out tonight. He actually told me just because I’m cute I didn’t need to be a B*&*c. I wonder what his thought process was? Maybe now that he spoke so gently to me, I am going to fall into his arms? I was really nice about it. I don’t get it. This motivated me to create a list of things I hate about dating.

1. I hate weeding through all the wannabe players. So many VIP’S in this town I could hurl.
2. I am tired of men coming on super strong and then just disappearing
3. I will punch the next guy that asks me to send him a promiscuous picture. (this comes from online dudes.)
4. I am exhausted from putting myself “out there.” (Ladies and Gentlemen, you know what I mean. I feel so exposed lately. I am confident but this is wearing me down.)
5. First dates suck! I can’t seem to make it past a couple dates with ANYONE. I just don’t feel I need to compromise at this point in the game.
6. I can’t stand the thought of another nervous dinner, sitting across from someone I’ve never met and trying to determine if I should slip out the bathroom window.

Okay, my rant is done. I feel better! However, I am being sincere about dating. I wrote my list and now I step back from it and think….who cares? When I search my feelings, I don’t think I do. What happens shall happen. Let’s sit back and enjoy the crazy ride. Keep the faith my peeps!!!!!

PS: Anyone offended by this post, please disregard. I mean it is just a blog by a simple woman.